Deceiving Hearts
by nineprincess
Summary: We're best friends with one another. But, someone managed to destroy the bond we built, with just one little secret - that I like him. He starts to avoid me and, slowly, it's like we're back again to where we first started - acquaintances.
1. Forewords

**DECEIVING HEARTS**

**[A/N: I don't own Gakuen Alice. But, it would be awesome if I **_**did.**_**]**

**Summary:**

We're best friends with one another. But, someone managed to destroy the bond we built, with just one little secret - that I _like_ him.

He starts to avoid me and, slowly, it's like we're back again to where we first started - _acquaintances._

* * *

**Forewords**

* * *

"Natsume!"

There he was seated under the Sakura tree – _our_ tree. His messy raven hair still as gorgeous as always. Those pair of crimson eyes looking into mine; I could feel blood rushing to my cheeks.

_Stop, Mikan. Stop blushing. Dammit. _

"What?" He asked in an indifferent tone.

I was frozen in place. It has been months – more like years, actually – since he used that kind of tone on me. And,take note, his tone was like that when I first tried talking to him.

_What exactly is wrong with him today?_

"Uh. I just wanted to check if you're okay," I said innocently,trying hard not to stammer for words. I was surprised when I suddenly found it hard to speak of friendly words I wished to convey to him. Was it because of the fact that I like him? Or is it because of his unusual behavior?

_Wait_. _He doesn't know I like him! _

I crossed my fingers behind my back as I wished that he wouldn't find out. However, deep inside of me, something felt _wrong_. It was like those eyes had become unfamiliar and that rare smile had been swept away from his face. It's like we're back in the beginning from where we started – _acquaintances_. A shiver ran down my spine as the thought came across my mind.

"Okay. Whatever. Bye," He said and stood up from his spot, brushed off some dirt on his plaid pants and went off towards the red-bricked path. My heart sank at the _very_ bottom of my stomach – the moment _he_ walked away from _me_.

I sat down the grass, fighting back the tears about to fall from my eyes. I looked up and saw the pink petals of the Sakura tree. They were vibrant and lovely, as it always seemed, just like my friendship with Natsume. But, now, I was disgusted that I actually thought our friendship could be compared to the wonderful petals of that very tree.

"Natsume," my voice cracked as hot tears prickled down my face. "Why are you acting like this?"

I stood up, not even brushing off the dirt on my skirt. Instead, I walked clumsily towards the opposite direction, leading to Hotaru's laboratory. I was feeling all dull and numb – _inside and out_. I need somewhere I could break down into tears because, soon, I wouldn't be able to hold off these emotions overflowing inside of me any longer. And that one place was with Hotaru – _my_ other best friend.

"He did... WHAT?" I nearly choked as I had stuffed loads of chips into my mouth. Food's my stress reliever, just so you know.

"That _shit-head_ Andou told Hyuuga that you liked him," Hotaru stated in her plain, dry voice. _I know_. She just went out of a long-term relationship with Inchou – or _Yuu_, if you prefer. She looked stoic as ever though – just that her almighty rays seemed to _lessen_.

"Tsubasa." The coke can in my hands bent as I clenched my fist, completely unaware of the poor little piece of aluminum. "That _bastard_! I thought I could trust him!"

"People_ deceive_, Mikan," Hotaru stated as her amethyst eyes penetrated through my hazel orbs.

"And, so do hearts of two people secretly in love with each other," she finished off.

"Huh? What do you mean, Hotaru?" I asked, perfectly perplexed at what she wanted to say.

She stood up as her chair made a screeching sound against the floor. Her figure moved towards her computer table, and before she sat down and started busying herself with her usual scientific stuffs.

She replied, "_Go_ and find out the meaning behind my words by yourself. You are the only person who can unravel this. Time will pass and you will realize it... _soon_."

* * *

**The journey of two people with a pair of deceiving hearts begin.**

**Main Characters:**

Natsume Hyuuga

Mikan Sakura

Tsubasa Andou

Misaki Harada

Akira Tonouchi

Imai Hotaru

Ruka Nogi

* * *

**UPDATED: **2 MAY 2012 _12:18 AM_


	2. Chapter 1: How It All Began

**CHAPTER 1: HOW IT ALL BEGAN**

**

* * *

**

_**5 years ago...**_

_Goodbye, summer! Hello, Alice Academy!_

I'm currently a fifth grader. I _can't_believe this; I'm getting _old_ each day. I was an inch taller than last year and my brown locks grew longer that it reached my waist. My old school uniform was getting shorter and small for me.

I held the paper, which was given to me, close to my face. All information about my new class was written there. _5-A... Oh yeah! My teacher still is Narumi-sensei! Oh... and room 309._

I skipped happily up the stairs and stopped in front of a room with a large '309' board sign above it. I breathed in, getting rid of the nervousness that was starting to build up inside my chest. As I walked in the class room, familiar faces greeted me.

_Permy,_I gave her a smile which she returned.

_Koko, Inchou, Anna and Nonoko..._My eyes landed unto a raven-haired girl with a new invention at hand.

"HOTARU!" I ran towards her. But before I can even touch her, I received a hard punch. _That really did hurt like hell._

"New Invention. Baka Gun. Used to shoot idiotic people," She stated in her cold voice.

People couldn't believe how I became friends with the Ice Queen. Well, Hotaru and I were friends since the day she and I were still in diapers. _How I can handle her tormenting ways?_That's the way she shows her love for me..._Maybe._

"Good Morning, Class!" _Narumi-sensei!_

"Before we start our class – Mikan, what are you doing on the floor?" He asked as he saw me, lying on the floor. "Stand up, dear."

I stood up, trying to conceal the pain that was now piercing my stomach. _Yes_, the blow I received hit my stomach. _Ugh. Hotaru really does love me._

"Today we have two new students."

Then, I heard string of girl shrieks.

* * *

I walked towards my seat as I felt daggers of glares being sent on me. _Why? Oh, why do I have to be the one to seat beside this new student?_I swallowed the lump in my throat. Everyone was eyeing me, I can _feel_ it.

I stopped in front of my seatmate and gathered the courage to say hi. I _don't know_ why but it felt hard to speak to this new student who gave off an apathetic aura.

"Uh...Hello?" A hoping smile crept up my face.

Two crimson eyes were revealed as he removed his manga away from his face. He was handsome. The most gorgeous thing – or boy – I saw in my life. He had raven hair that was tousled and untidy. And, his fair complexion that just matched well with his features. _Any_ girl would just go crazy over him. _So that's why they were glaring at me!_

"..."

"I'm Mikan Sakura," I said as I offered my hand for a shake.

I was expecting for a friendly hand shake. But, I _never_really got one. Instead, his eyes moved from my face and down to my welcoming hand, staring at it like it was _filthy_. My admiration towards him disappeared that moment and my little smile vanished from my face. _Talk about rudeness after you made the nicest introduction you could ever think of._

"Hn," He shifted in his seat and began reading his manga again.

_What was that? A 'Hn' was all I got after I made a friendly introduction?_ I sat down the space beside him. I can't believe I'm going to be seatmates with an unresponsive person. What could be _so_interesting about that manga he's reading that he could not take a few seconds to introduce himself?

Sighing, I took out my pen and notebook and placed it on top of the table in an organized manner. I smiled.

_Pen and notebook, check!_

"Hyuuga."

My head snapped up to look at the introverted boy beside me. His face was looking the other way and his hands were not holding the manga, he seems to be preoccupied with. A moment of silence passed by before he continued his sentence.

"Natsume... Hyuuga," he said in his icy, husky voice. I admit he sounded hot – actually, he IS hot.

"Is that so?"

_Finally, he told me his name. This may be a start of a great friendship..._

I let out a smile towards him. "Nice to meet you, Hyuuga-san. You can call me anything you'd like," I said in a friendly tone.

"Hn," It was yet again the famous 'Hn'.

..._Or not._

I sighed and stated, "You know, there are a lot of words besides 'hn'." He gave me a nod and maintained his gaze in front. I heaved another heavy sigh and looked at my notebook and pen – and I, at that time, thought that a pen and notebook would actually be lovely company rather than this cold seatmate of mine.

_Oh well, if worst comes to worst, I'll end up talking to my pen and notebook._

_

* * *

_

"Why are you twitching your lips like that?" Hyuuga asked me as he averted his attention to me.

He was just plain odd. It had been two weeks since the first day of school. I got to know a lot of transferees and befriended them – except him that is . All I know is that he was THE Natsume Hyuuga, the girls went crazy over and the boys envied more than anything else. He, in fact, has a newly established fan club, led by the blonde bitch named Luna Koizumi, together with her subordinates. He only has one friend – Ruka Nogi, a half French boy with to-die-for looks. And guess what else? Ruka-pyon's one of the nicest people among the transferees! I was really surprised when Ruka-pyon talked and smiled at Hyuuga. _Really._ It was like an effigy stood beside a matinee idol.

Someday, I opt to make a list on what I know about Natsume Hyuuga. _Someday._

"I'm thinking about something," I answered. He shrugged and continued reading his _manga_.

I examined his features as I tap my pen on the table. His face never contained any etch of emotion as he read his oh-so-interesting manga. Was he really enjoying reading? Because, from the way I see him, he looked like he was just forced to read it.

"What?" He asked, his eyes darting towards me.

My head almost hit the table when I heard his voice. I quickly looked away from him, my heart pounding so fast inside my chest. And I didn't even know why it reacted like that.

"Errr." _Stupid me._ "...What's so fascinating with that manga?"

"It's humorous." I practically gawked at him. _It was funny? Seriously?_

I scrutinized him once more. "Really? Is it really _really_ funny?" I asked, waiting for his answer.

"Yes," was his plain reply, still with his impassive face.

_Oh brother. He's not human! I tell you! Not human!_

_

* * *

_

The sight was really breathtaking. The green majestic trees, the wonderful smell of flowers, the red-bricked path that seemed to go on and on, and the cheerful song of birds echoing from above.

"Is this really the way to Hotaru's new laboratory?" I asked no one in particular.

_Mikan, this is the road, alright? The right way. So keep moving forward! Just what Dory said!_

I smiled and skipped happily, following the path.

"I'M LOST! OH NO!"

I sagged unto the grass, already wanting to cry. I had been walking for _hours_ and I just kept going back and back to where I first started. _I clearly remembered that Hotaru said to follow the yellow-bricked path._My eyes looked at the road. I saw _red_– red-colored bricks that formed a road. _WHAT? I had been following the wrong path all along?_

I hit my forehead with my palm. _How can I get so stupid?_

I groaned and closed my eyes as I held my chin. _Hotaru will surely kill me if I don't get there in..._

Raising my arm, I looked at my watch - which was _not_ there. _Oh God! I even forgot my watch! What an unlucky day!_

Frustrated, I let out a loud irritated moan.

"Why are you being so noisy?"

I looked up the tree and saw Hyuuga, sitting on one of the branches. He had this infuriated look on his face. _So, this seatmate of mine can actually feel annoyance and show it, huh?_In a swift movement, he jumped from the branch and landed gracefully on the ground. His crimson eyes contained displeasure.

_Quite a sight to see._

A smile crept up my face. He seemed to be annoyed by this, too, for his eyebrows went closer.

"What are you smiling for?" He asked with a tinge of exasperation present.

"Nothing," I replied. I bet my noticeable grin was still there. I just couldn't help but smile. "It's just that you can actually show emotions! I thought you were a living statue of a Greek god!"

"Tch. It was because you're so noisy," he muttered and sat down the grass beside me.

"Greek god, you say?"

_I just didn't say that he looks like one! Stupid, stupid talkative mouth._I gave him an uneasy smile.

"Polka," he said with a slight smirk on his face as he looked at me.

My eyes turned huge. _What an adorable smirk!_Wait. _He just called me 'polka', right?_

"YOU PERVERT!" I shouted as I threw him a punch which he blocked easily.

"It wasn't my fault I saw it," Hyuuga said as he looked all-too-teasing that I suddenly preferred the impassive and stoic Hyuuga who doesn't give a damn on what I do.

"You were sprawled there and showed it to me."

"That's still peeking!"

"It isn't."

"It is!"

And that was the longest – _not exactly decent_ - conversation I had with Natsume Hyuuga. And, that day I found out that the living statue was not exactly a statue – he was _human_. As I arrived at the dormitory together with Hyuuga as we exchange verbal insults, I received series of blows coming from none other than Hotaru's _newly upgraded_ baka gun. And that's when I remembered that I was supposed to be at the new laboratory.

But, I could say, it was worth it. I needed to receive those punches to believe that it was all _true_ – that my seatmate was not pokerfaced but a _pervert_.

_Now_, my hope's been renewed. _This is gonna be a start of a great friendship._ And, I'm not going to add _not_at the end of that thought.

"There done!" I smiled as I finished writing the last thing I found out about Natsume Hyuuga in my notebook – where I listed all of what I knew about him. _Told you! I did make a list!_

**HE'S NOT A STATUE BUT AN 11-YEAR-OLD PERVERT. THEREFORE, HE IS HUMAN.**

I closed my desk lamp and bid goodnight to the wind.

Sixth grade, we became friends from being distant seatmates – or acquaintances if you wish. I got to know more about Natsume. _I actually call him by his first name now._He spoke more than one word whenever I ask him.

For example, "Tch. Polka, will you shut your big mouth?" _So yeah_. We're friends. And, he calls me 'Polka'. _The pervert_.

Two more years and we were in 8th grade. That was the year I became his _best friend_ – other than Ruka that is. And it was witnessed by the _Sakura Tree_. Well, our friendship was witnessed by that tree from the _very start_ – even our very first conversation.

"Are we best friends now, Natsume?"

"Whatever you may like, Polka."

All people envied me, especially Koizumi. She was _desperate_ for Natsume and everybody knew of it. But, she did not dare hurt me. Why? I'm also best friends with the school's number one black mailer, Hotaru Imai. When I think I'm best friends with the most wanted stoic guy and the most feared woman in all of Alice Academy, I couldn't help but feel lucky – _really lucky_.

But, now, I feel _so_, so stupid. It was all _gone_ within a flash.

At this moment, Natsume was a person I couldn't reach – even if I tried hard to.

I buried my head into my pillow and started to cry again. It was painful – _very painful._

_

* * *

_

Hello! **Here's the update! :D**

Okay. So, I thought of having you know how they became best friends at first.

And, how much Mikan suffered. LOL. XD

I know it's not what you expected.

But, the next chapter's not like this one.

[You guys could probably predict it because of the way I ended this chapter.]

**THANKS FOR ALL THOSE REVIEWS!** and those who subscribed!

**radiantxshadows; dbzgtfan2004; and CherryBlossom Stealer**: Thanks for the reviews! :D

**acrianz** [_**Mae-sempai!**_]: Thanks for the awesome review! I tried to add more thoughts.

Whatcha think? And I made the chapter longer. :)) HAHA. XD

**07 Febraury 2010**

**2:18 PM**

**(:nineprincess:)**


	3. Chapter 2: I Must Believe Him

**CHAPTER 2: I Must Believe Him**

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* * *

**

_**5:45 AM**_

I got up into a sitting position on my bed. My eyes were stinging from all that crying I made last night. I wasn't feeling too well. Who would after your best friend suddenly ignores you? Reluctantly, I forced my way out of bed and slipped on my slippers. The room was unusually _dark_. The windows were closed shut, letting only a diminutive amount of light to travel inside.

"Will I go to school – or not?"

My voice was dry and coarse. So this is what I get for crying: a rough voice and a pair of swollen red eyes

_~ I never thought I'd fall in love, love, love, love._

_But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush ~_

I looked over to my bedside table. There it was – _my phone_ – ringing.

"H-Hello?"

"Idiot, what happened to your voice?" _Hotaru._I didn't respond. What will I say to her? That I let out rivers of tears when I got back from her laboratory where I, also, cried to no end? No. I don't want her to worry for me -

"You cried."

But no matter how hard I try to not let her know about my problems – she still _knew_. She _always _knew. Hotaru Imai was a genius. She knows everything. Her words held truth and cynicism– all together. Hence, regardless of her sarcastic words, behind those lies the truth – _nothing else_.

"Get your body moving to the shower and be ready in ten minutes," her voice, stoic but commanding.

"Hota -" She cut me off, not letting me speak my mind.

"See you at class, Mikan." And that's when she hanged up.

I sighed and put down my phone unto the table before I grabbed my towel and entered the bathroom. I didn't want to go to school today. I'm afraid to see Natsume. What if he still acts like that? What if he starts ignoring me for good? What if -

I don't want to even think about it. You may not think I'd be saying this. But, I believe it now. The words Luna spoke of when she found out I'm best friends with Natsume. I didn't know I had a desperate Luna Koizumi in me. Well, I _bet_ everyone has a desperate side of them. So, I take back what I said about me having Koizumi's desperation running within my system. Definitely _not_going to happen.

_Life's a bitch that drags the hell out of you in times of immense dejection._

Yeah. _Seriously_. Koizumi can make up quotes – in a bitchy way.

* * *

The corridors appeared vacant. There were only a few students sauntering towards their classes. My attention was caught by the landscape outside the windows. It was simply remarkable. The forest that stretched on endlessly as the sun's glorious rays shone upon it. Sighing, I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples. I was getting a headache. What a way to greet me _good_ morning.

"Mikan-chan!"

I was immediately rooted to my spot, my eyes fluttered open. I know that voice anywhere I go. _Misaki._I turned around and her lovely face greeted me. She was Misaki Harada – Year 2, Class B. Her short red hair framed her face, tracing its shape, and her well-shaped body stood in a perfect form – two inches _taller_than me.

"Misaki," I greeted her as I gave her a _calm_ smile.

That's when I remembered a little bit of detail about her. When Misaki's there, Tsubasa Andou – the shit-head Hotaru called – will surely show up in no time. They were similar to thunder and lightning. Once Misaki _rolls_, Tsubasa will _strike_.

"Yo, Mikan!"

And, as a result, he _did_ strike. I was unsure on what to do. Should I say hi? Or not? Hotaru said he was the one who told Natsume that I liked him. Was Hotaru wrong? But, she was _never_mistaken.

"How are things with your 'Raven' guy?" he asked with a _guiltless_ grin on his face. _No_, Hotaru could be wrong as well – there could be those times. She, _too_, is human.

I forced a smile on my face. This should be not bad. I should look like Hotaru never said a thing – _bad thing_ – about Tsubasa. But being the typical Mikan I am, I was so _easy_ to be read.

His smile fell from his face as his expression turned sour. "What happened, Mikan?"

"Nothing. I just –" I bit my lower lip, not knowing what to say. Should I tell him what happened? But, Hotaru might be right all along. My wavering gaze caught a glimpse of Tsubasa's straight and cold face. He was like a stationary statue in front of me. That was before Misaki rolled.

"Ando_uuuuuu_! You _dickhead_! What did you do to, Mikan-chan?" Misaki bawled as she grabbed Tsubasa by the collar. For a girl, she sure is aggressive and brave. I couldn't deem that she was only a few months older than me since she was more mature – in the physical aspect. I hardly doubt the mental capacity though. Well, Hotaru calls us _fated_ idiots. That must mean a thing or two, right?

I watched as Tsubasa struggled out of Misaki's grip on his collar. He was sweating – out of fear from Misaki's torturous ways. He may be the lightning in their partnership but thunder always comes first.

"I didn't do anything!" He raised both of his hands and shook his head, stressing that Misaki had mistaken. Tsubasa's hair was tossled and his eyes were expressing trepidation. And in a split second, his look had me _laughing_. I didn't know why I did. I was supposed to feel gloomy. It's like my problem was gone for only a moment. It sure was a good feeling to have.

But that was _only_ for a second. My laughter died down as soon as I saw _him_ at the far end of the hallway. His eyes met mine. It made a chill go up my spine. It wasn't a friendly look. I don't know why he's ignoring me but I need to talk this out with him. The question is - _how?_

"Mikan?"

"I'm _okay_, Tsubasa. See you when I see you guys."

I lied – _again_. For how long must I lie to people?

* * *

"I can't take this anymore!" I shouted. I buried my head in my hands. This is so damn frustrating! Why is he avoiding me? Why don't I have the guts to ask him... _why?_

"Mikan-chan, maybe... Hyuuga-san's a little bit depressed about something." I felt a pat on my back. I took a peek and saw my blue-haired friend Nonoko giving me a reassuring smile. But, that won't work. She doesn't even know what Natsume is like! She's never spoken to him! How could she know?

I just groaned even more. "Maybe, he's showing his true colors now. He must have been a real jerk. He just pretended," Sumire Shouda, my somewhat man-hater friend, said in a snappy tone. Well, she could be like that sometimes. But she's still a great friend to have.

"Oh come on. Natsume-kun isn't like that Sumire." I looked at who it was this time. Anna Umenomiya. She's defending Natsume from Sumire! What a sweet friend. Don't underestimate her. Her brain's size is the same with Hotaru's. It's just that Hotaru uses it in a more evil and scheming way.

"Really? Tell me. What did he do today to Mikan?" Sumire asked with a snort.

"He didn't speak to her." Can't they not shove it at my face? It hurts, you know. I'm not used to it yet. It's only been a day since he ignored me.

"What else?"

"He..." – Anna took a deep sigh and surrendered as Sumire stared at her with a smirk – "He refused Narumi-sensei's instruction of having him partnered to Mikan." Ouch. That hurt - _a lot_. Tears were starting to break through again. Why do I have to have these stupid emotions?

I looked at Hotaru who was quietly typing in her laptop and taking a sip of her drink once in a while. She seemed to be so untroubled. She doesn't have to hurt like this. She can hide her feelings well. I envy her for that.

"What?" She asked as she stopped fumbling with her keyboard, raising a brow at me.

"Nothing."

"Get your ass up and talk to Hyuuga," she stated as she looked over to the raven-haired lad situated about three tables across ours. He was with Ruka – _as always_. Mochu and Koko were there. And so is Tsubasa. They're the same group. But there's something wrong. He wasn't eating. He wasn't waving at me. He wasn't smiling nor laughing at Koko's jokes. Instead, he was glaring at Tsubasa. _Why?_

I gripped the table tightly, mustering up the courage to talk to him. As I looked again at their table, Tsubasa was waving at me with a grin on his face. Ruka gave me a half-smile. Mochu nodded his head while Koko playfully smirked at me. And, Natsume was gone.

My eyes travelled across the canteen and stopped at the door. The last thing I saw was his back exiting the room. And the pain hit me again. What was really wrong here?

* * *

I stared at the plate name on the door 'Natsume Hyuuga'. I lifted my hand up. Should I knock? Or not? I'm afraid to hear what he has to say. I'm afraid to get hurt – rejected. _No, I'm not yet ready_. I was about to walk away when the door opened, revealing a surprised Natsume in front of me.

I was rooted to my spot. What should I do _now?_His expression went from surprise to cold. I was befuddled. I parted my lips to speak but nothing came out. He stared at me with his tantalizing eyes. It was questioning me. I wanted to break into a fast sprint to my room but something kept me frozen.

"Mikan, is it true?" He asked. What was true? What is he talking about?

"What's true?" I asked, wanting to know what he meant. He didn't reply to what I said. Instead, he covered his face with his right hand and groaned inaudibly.

"Nevermind."

And that's when he shut the door close... with me still standing there. Can you believe that?

* * *

"Hyuuga did what?" Sumire asked practically wanting to break somebody's neck. The paper in her hand had been torn into half as she vented her anger unto it. _Poor little paper._ Sumire wasn't the only one who's angry at Natsume. When Nonoko heard my story, she shut her book in a loud bang while Anna just sat calmly like she didn't even hear a thing.

"Did he seriously _shut_ the door? At _your face_?" She asked in a threatening tone. I nodded. The look on Nonoko's face was scary. It's the second time that I have seen her looking like that. The first time was when Yuu broke up with Hotaru. _Really_. Sumire and her kept calling Yuu names and been blabbing on ugly things they would do to him once they see him. Trust me you wouldn't want to know what things they were planning.

"I am so going to kill - "

"Nonoko, just shut up for a moment. Mikan's hurting here, alright?" Anna said. She turned her head to look at me. "What did that _bastard_do again, Mikan-chan?" She said to me in a sweet voice but one word was emphasized with much loathing. Well, she may look like an angel sent from above but she's the one who plots the whole evil scheme once she's fed up.

"I'll repeat it for her. Natsume _slammed_ the door _loudly_ at Mikan," Nobara said. Nobara's a little bit exaggerated but she speaks the truth – most of the time. I sighed and looked at her. Her icy eyes told me she was thinking the exact same thing the other three were thinking of. _Crazy friends._

"Thanks for repeating it to them, Nobara. But I'll make it clear. He didn't _slam_ the door," – I glanced at her while she just shrugged, telling me it's the same thing – "he just shut it, not _loudly_ but in a normal way."

"It's the similar thing, Mikan."

I looked at the raven-haired lass, sitting in front of a monitor screen as she continued typing on the keyboard. Well, it's her dorm room anyways so I can't complain if she's not listening to me earlier and not commenting. I might get shot by her baka gun if I do.

"But, Hotaru, slamming is a violent term and Natsume isn't a violent person."

"Really? That guy looks violent to me. He passes that category"

"Hotaru, you know him well enough."

"Mikan, I'm _not_ his best friend," she stood up and walked over to us. She sat down the place beside Sumire and spoke again. "_You are_." She pointed at me. "I told you already why he's acting like that. It's because of _Andou_."

"Andou?" Sumire raised a brow. "That guy who follows Misaki like a lost puppy?"

"Yes," Hotaru replied.

"Speaking of Tsubasa-kun, I saw him the other day," Nonoko said as she put a hand on her chin. It was a stupid answer. Of course she would see him! She's his classmate!

"We're Andou-kun's classmate_._Thanks for stating the obvious._Jeez_. I want to puke at the sight of that happy fool," Nobara said as her face showed disgust. She's also from Class B just like Nonoko.

Nonoko shook her head as her brows met. "No. That's not what I meant. I saw him the other day. He was talking to," she paused and her eyes met mine. "To Hyuuga."

"Told you," Hotaru said as she had this bored expression.

"So, it's true? Hotaru's words were true? He did tell him?" I was confused. I wanted to cry. He betrayed me – as a friend. How could he?

"Ask him, idiot. Why are you asking us?" Hotaru said.

* * *

"Mikan?"

Here I was, standing in front of Tsubasa Andou, ready to ask him if it was true. I didn't get enough sleep for two days now. _Really_. This whole Natsume's-ignoring-me thing is getting way out of hand. I need to make this all clear. I need to get this out of me. Or else I'd go crazy. I think I am already.

"Tsubasa, did you - " He cut me off. What good manners people have nowadays.

"HEY! I've wanted to ask you. What's Natsume's problem with me? I didn't do anything did I? " He asked. I was taken aback. Why would he ask me something like that when he's the one who caused this?

"I wanted to ask you too. Why is Natsume acting odd? He's completely avoiding me." His face expressed confusion as his brows scrunched.

"Avoiding you?"

"Yes."

"That's unlikely of him," he said and offered to enter his room which I gladly accepted. The wall was colored in dark blue with patches of stars here and there. He always had a thing for stars. That explains his star tattoo on the cheek. His bed was placed at the left side of the room; the study table was located near the window. He offered me to sit on one of the bean bag chairs scattered on the floor.

"May I ask you?" I said and looked at him hopefully. He nodded and smiled. "Have you said anything to Natsume about our _secret_? You know," – I shrugged at him, hoping he got what I meant – "Raven guy thing?" His smile disappeared. He stood up from his seat and walked over to the side table. He was searching for something. _What could it be?_

Finally, he stopped, walked over to me and sat down again. He stretched out his hand. On it was a keychain with a blue star attached to it. I glanced up at him. "Take it. I wanted to give this to you."

I picked it up and stared at it. _Is he trying to avoid my question?_ I kept it inside my pocket and then fixed my eyes on him. "Tsubasa Andou, are you _avoiding_my question?" I asked with a sour tone.

"Avoiding? No! _No!_ I'm not. I just remembered the key chain. I might forget it if I didn't give it to you now." He smiled and scratched his head. _Really?_ This guy is the one who told Natsume?_Can't be_. "I didn't tell him. I _promise_," he told me with a grin.

"Can I _trust_ your word?"

"_Yes_."

I didn't know. I wanted to believe him. But something told me he was _lying_. Those innocent smiles and actions felt false to me – that it wasn't genuine. I had no other choice right now. I needed to believe him and get some rest. _Yes_, believe him – even if it's hard to, _I must_.

* * *

It's been 14 days since my last update and I planned to post this second chapter earlier.

But due to the hellish homeworks, I needed to delay it.

OHO! Do you think this chapter's good?

LOL. I think it was... .

Please do review and correct me on my mistakes.

I would very much appreciate that.

**Why Hello There, Eril 3:):**Don't worry, dude. I won't keep my readers hanging. :))

**Pathetic Rainbow:**Sure thing. The ending? Well, I'm still thinking how I will end it so let's find it out together. XD

**Krizka_fierce:**HAHA. You can imagine it now. Really. You were too sweet last Wednesday.

**Radiantxshadows:**It's because he found out that Mikan likes him more than best friends. :)

**Acrianz:**thanks for the corrections. It did help me. Thanks for liking that line! I was laughing my guts out when I read it all over again.

And Luna is desperate. XD Really. Desperate bitch here. XD Thanks for reviewing, sempai! You've got long reviews there.

**l3va & WhiteMoon1:** Thanks. :D Sure thing.

**21 February 2010**

**11:47 PM**

**(:nineprincess:)**


	4. Chapter 3: I Was Dreaming

**CHAPTER 3: I WAS DREAMING**

**

* * *

**

It was _blue_ – my favourite color next to orange, that is. It shimmered under my desk lamp, _almost _blinding me but I can't stop wondering what it meant. I held it safe in my hands and put it back in my drawer. Yes, it was a key chain - a key chain with some sort of meaning that I can't seem to make sense of.

"What the _hell_ am I doing?" I asked myself. Talking to your self is a thing for crazy people – plain crazy. But, sometimes, it helps me think more clearly.

_Thud._ I let my body weight rest on the bed. I was too tired. Tired of everything – school, friends' rantings, Tsubasa's hoax, Misaki's endless Tsubasa-torture, Natsume, _Natsume _and _more Natsume_. Before I fell asleep, the last thing on my mind was, _still_, Natsume Hyuuga – that _bastard _of a best friend.

* * *

"Mikan?"

Crimson orbs met me when I looked up. My heart started to throb loudly inside my chest. I thought he was mad at me. _Why is he talking to me now?_ He smiled, showing his sparkly white teeth and offered me his left hand to stand. I stared at his hand, welcoming me once again. Oh how I wanted this day to come!

I reached out my hand to touch his. However, he vanished into thin air, leaving no trace of life behind. Even his scent was taken away when he disappeared. Alone – I was. I was alone in a black hole where no one can get to me. Not even Hotaru, Ruka or any of my other friends.

Tears started to make way out of my eyes as I hugged my knees closer. This was a world where I wasn't meant to live in. It has always been this cruel to me. _Why?_ I had asked the same question over and over again but no one – nothing answers it.

* * *

I didn't know why. But, I did scream. I was breathing roughly as tears continued to flow down my cheeks. My vision was blurry but I could tell I was back in my room. So, it was a dream – just a dream? That's really funny. It made me cry. A dream made me _cry_.

"Stupid dreams." I looked up, sniffed and wiped my tears. "Why do you always get me, dream-san?" It's stupid that I talk to myself and address someone dream-san that doesn't even exist. But, it's kind of consoling on my part. Having someone who understands me. That was all I ever wanted.

I shielded my eyes when light suddenly hit my eyes. "Hey, who opened the -"

"Hotaru? What are you doing here?" I was surprised to see her in my room. She must have seen it – me crying like an idiot and talking to someone.

I tried smiling but it seems to have no effect on her. She was standing there like a rock looking at me with a blank serious face. "Oho! I had a nightmare about _bats_ and it scared me to _death_." I glanced at her, hoping she would _believe_ me.

"Idiot, bats _don't_ scare you. You even told me once that they are _cute_," she bitterly snapped at me. She sighed and proceeded to sit down on one of the chairs. I was in trouble. What would I do? I can't lie to her now.

"Don't lie now, Mikan. It's Hyuuga, isn't it?" Okay. She got me. Could she be dream-san? I hardly doubt that. But, she passes the field. She knew all about me - my past, present or even future. She was my best friend after all – the real one.

"N-No, Hotaru," I replied nervously. I know this won't work on her and that she will get the truth out of me sooner or later.

"Fine. If you say so." She stood up. Her footsteps were unhurried. She was thinking. I knew it. But, why won't she ask me about it?

"Mikan, go take a bath. I'll wait for you in class." With that, she disappeared as the door came to a shut.

Luckily, that was over. I would break down if she continues to ask.

* * *

"Love is a wonderful thing, do you agree with me?" Narumi-sensei asked as most of the students responded with a nod. Sure, it's wonderful – at the beginning. After hearing that sentence, I decided to block my ears. Of all topics to be discussing during English time, it was the thing I started to hate the most.

Why couldn't the topic be like creating persuasive sentences or adverbs or anything educational? I was ready for that. But, this was just sick. I looked at my right and saw Hotaru uttering words that were probably curses. I wasn't the only one who doesn't like this topic even the school genius blackmailer too.

One word, one person to reason out Hotaru's disgust at love – Yuu Tobita or Inchou. I can't believe that the years they spent together being best of friends and then becoming lovers had come to waste. Inchou moved to the Unites States a year ago and that was when the problem emerged. And the reason was another girl. Well, Inchou frankly said that there was someone else the last time they talked. He broke up with Hotaru through a telephone conversation. Really. How sick of him, right?

But, lately, Hotaru had been blackmailing Ruka-pyon. Speaking of Ruka-pyon, he seemed to be a lot interested in the topic Narumi-sensei had been discussing for he was happily taking down notes.

"Let's see..." I tore a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote on it.

I placed the note on top of Hotaru's table. She looked at me with a blank face which I returned with a smile. Looking at her as she read the note, her lips twitched a bit in a manner that seemed to be of irritation. I grinned evilly as I returned my gaze in front and went on with my act of pretending to listen to Narumi-sensei.

"When will this period end?" I whispered as I sulked in my seat. All of a sudden, I felt a chill run down my spine. That could only mean one thing. Natsume was looking at me. I glanced at my left and what I saw made me want to run away. He was discreetly watching me. He really hates me, huh?

My emotions started to take over me once more. I can't sit here like yesterday and humiliate myself over and over again. I need to get out of here. In a split second, I raised my hand and shouted, "Narumi-sensei! I need to go to the clinic! I'm not feeling very well." I felt all eyes on me. A lump was forming in my throat. This is so awkward.

Narumi-sensei stopped writing on the board and looked at me, worriedly. "Of course, you can. I hope you'll be fine," he said.

I stood up, stuffed my books and pens inside my bag, and uneasily went out the room with my bag slung on one of my shoulders. At that time, I felt everyone's eyes on me - each step I took. Most of their stares felt of concern but two seemed to be of suspicion. I knew perfectly who those two were – _Hotaru and Natsume._

* * *

"Mikan, you aren't _sick_ at all."

"But, Miss Mio, I am! My head _hurts_!" I said as I laid down the bed pretending to be having a major headache. The woman in front of me had her hands on her waist as she eyed me. She was absolutely not falling for my act.

"Mikan, don't you pretend. I'm not an old woman to not know that you're just pretending." She spun around in her heels and proceeded to sit down on her office chair. _This is so vexing_. Do I need to explain what's happening? Where's my fairy godmother when I need one?

I sighed helplessly as I sat up, put on my shoes and looked at her. "I didn't like the"- She raised the cup of coffee and took a sip-"atmosphere inside the classroom earlier." _If not for him, I wouldn't have to lie._

"Why so?" She asked, setting down the cup on the table.

"It's hard to... explain. It's just things are not like what it used to be."

"I see," she propped her arm on top of the table and smiled at me. "Is it Natsume, dear?"

* * *

I felt being grilled and flipped for a hundred times. Miss Mio's such a mind reader! _How did she know? _And my freaking heart won't stop accelerating its speed as she asked questions that were more like statements of what's going on with me.

The corridor's pretty quiet. It's lunch time after all. Everybody must be happily chatting in the cafeteria now. I think I can have some peaceful time here. I turned around a corner and my feet stopped as soon as I heard that ever familiar voice.

"Girls, have you seen?"

"Seen what, Luna?"

My back was pinned to the wall. No matter how much I want to get away fast, my feet wouldn't move as I command. It's like there's some sort of force that's keeping me there. Half of me wanted to know what the bitch has seen but half of me tells me I already know it.

I heard an indistinct laugh escape from her lips. "_That Sakura _and _Natsume-_sama." The instant I heard that I wanted to sprint out of where I am.

"Yeah, they've been ignoring each other for days."

"You know what that means?"

I didn't want to hear more of this. It's too much for me to hear. In one split of a second, I took a step backwards, turned around hesitantly and walked towards the direction of the cafeteria.

_"The bitch is no longer in the way of me and Natsume-sama."_

* * *

I quietly slipped in the seat beside Hotaru. The chattering died out and i felt my friend's profound stares on me. I slowly lifted my head and my eyes came in contact with Sumire whose right eyebrow was raised, a look that says I need to explain something.

I forced a genial smile which apparently didn't work on them.

_"Mikan_."

I turned my head to my left and Hotaru's blank face greeted me. She stopped typing in her laptop. She closed the cover quietly as I felt the pressure emitting from my friends. I had been grilled by Miss Mio earlier and now I'm gonna get roasted for sure.

"Were you really sick?"

"W-Why , yes, Hotaru."

She took away her gaze from me. I was sure she looked at Sumire who just nodded at her. I hate it when the two of them do that. They're practically trying to kill me with this kind of atmosphere.

"Then, why are you stuttering?" This time it was Sumire who questioned me and it wasn't very nice. It was as if she was sneering at her enemy. Well, Sumire has this menacing tendency of having you want to crawl out of your place.

"I-I-I w-as?"

A sigh escaped from Nonoko's lips and made me look at her. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. I waited for her to speak; however, she _didn't_. She just nudged Anna who bit her own lower lip. When she didn't say anything, Nonoko nudged her again. Anna, as helpless as she is, just groaned and finally spoke.

"Mikan, don't lie. When you get sick, you don't even come back for lunch. You're sent straight to your room. And, you'll stay sick for _two days_," Anna finished off in one breath. All of that was true. They know me _too well_.

"Hyuuga," – my eyes were instantly glued to who spoke – "It's that _goddamn_ Hyuuga again, isn't it?" Sumire scoffed with much rancour. I can't deny it though. I started to break down like this when he started ignoring me because of an unknown reason that Hotaru claims to be that Tsubasa told Natsume about me liking him, which is utterly unbelievable in my case.

"God damn right," Nobara stated in agreement to what Sumire just said. She flipped her hair in irritation at the sudden mention of Natsume's name.

This conversation was getting _way too serious_. This thing happens whenever my friends get too worried for someone. And in this case, that someone was _me_. Even Anna who usually keeps quiet and calm about things suddenly speaks with this vague feeling that she is blaming all these on Natsume.

"_Stop it_," I said as they all looked at me.

"Stop? _Why_, Mikan?" Nonoko started as she pointed at the table at the far end. "HE IS the one who made you like _this_! And do you know how painful it is for us to see you suffer because of some _JERK_ who... who isn't worth all your tears?" Her temper broke loose. Nonoko wasn't like this. She wasn't. Did I appear that vulnerable to them? Did I?

"Everyone, enough of this."

Hotaru had stopped the eerie tension building up. She had stopped everyone from losing their tempers. She had that talent to do so. And sometimes, I envy her for this. I was vulnerable. A fragile thing that they always have to protect so I wouldn't break into pieces. They were always there to knock me back to my senses and introduce me to what I they call beauty of life. They were my friends. _Yes_, they were. "Stop it. Mikan's gonna get hurt even more if you continue."

* * *

The awkward dinner was finished. All of my friends were unusually quiet and avoided any topic that could bring up the subject to who they call _bastard_. I'm walking back to my room to spend some peaceful time for myself. I walked two flight of stairs and I was greeted by a familiar figure leaning on the wall with his head down and his hands inside his front pockets.

"Tsubasa?"

"Oh" – He lifted his head and gave me a smile.- "Mikan, I just wanted to ask you something."

I started walking with him beside me. The hallway was eerily quiet. It should be a little bit noisy right now for it's just past dinner. I heard Tsubasa murmur my name but I ignored it and asked, "Isn't it a little too silent in here, Tsubasa?"

"What?- Oh? Ah... yes, somewhat," he replied awkwardly. Something was weird. And I don't like it.

"What could they be doing? Where could they be? How come they a-" I was cut short when, suddenly, a hand pulled me and made me spin around. My eyes closed shut and I felt Tsubasa's arms wrapped around me. He was hugging me. And it was really uncomfortable. I was about to push him away but what I saw, when I opened my eyes, made me weak all over.

Natsume was there, standing a few meters away from us, with an expression I could make out as surprised and confused.

* * *

It's been two months since I updated. I got busy with school.

And then, I had an author's block for quite a long time.

I'm glad I was able to finish this chapter.

I promise that I would not do this again.

Please do review.

**Xxdarkness-angelxX: **He is somewhat in between good and bad.

**Acrianz: **Hahaha, I just based the friends' part on my own friends. XD Lol.

And I found it similar to what we do everyday.I'll not say any spoilers in here, Mae-sempai. XD :))

thanks for a long review again! :D

**zagogay: **Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my fic.

Oh! thanks for the advice too. I'll keep that in mind.

**XxDemonic-AngeloO:** Thank you. ^^

**krizka fierce: **Hahaha. YES you were sweet. But, not anymore. He's bad. Really bad.

**aNimeLover-chAn05: **It's okay. :)) Hotaru and Ruka... I'm planning to pair them up here. :D

Ruka is closer to Natsume. Ruka and him became friends since they were little

while Mikan just entered the scene during 5th grade.

**mangalover128**: :)

**22 April 2010**

**8:05 PM**

**(:nineprincess:)**


	5. Chapter 4: Taking Out My Frustrations

**CHAPTER 4: TAKING OUT MY FRUSTRATIONS**

**

* * *

**

Natsume spun around, walking towards the other direction. I wanted to run to him and explain that he is misunderstanding the whole scene - even if I can't clarify why the hell Tsubasa suddenly hugged me in midsentence.

I tried to break free from Tsubasa. But the more I did, the more he tightens his grasp on me. He was too strong. I watched as Natsume vanished into the end of the hallway – with me still trying to get away. And then, it hit me – hard.

_He hates you._

My arms fell to my sides. I give up already. It pains me to hear my own thoughts – telling me what I never wanted to hear... from myself... from anyone.

_Move on._

Those two words were the best choice for me. However, I can't seem to take the first step – of forgetting all of this nonsense. After a few seconds of deep thinking, I was startled. Tsubasa slowly let go of me. I met his gaze. His eyes expressed grief that seemed to hide a lot of questions.

"Tsu..basa-kun, are...are.. you... alright?" I asked in a soft whisper.

"...Maybe... I'm not so sure of it myself," he answered, turning his back to me.

"What happened?" I asked, concern growing in me.

"...It's...nothing," He said and walked away, leaving me alone in the silent comforts of the hallway.

* * *

_Tick._

_Tock._

The questionnaire's words were swirling in front of me. I tried to decipher the information on it but nothing comes in my already-jammed-up head. On the other hand, the answer sheet looked like an excellent piece of clean paper I can emit all my troubles unto. But, that seemed like a bad idea.

I didn't get to study that much than before. No matter how much I plead to Hotaru to teach me, she wouldn't. She was such an obdurate person. Her heart's as cold as it could be. Being Hotaru Imai, she only said one thing to me whenever I ask her to teach me.

"_You're not ready to be tormented by me. Fix yourself first."_

I know what she meant. I still got a shattered heart to deal with. Second is to fix this whacked brain of mine that can't store even a small amount of information from the books and lessons I've read and heard. Anna and Nonoko were still there to tutor me. The only problem is that they're both away for this science convention stuff.

Now, I'm totally..._screwed._

_Tick._

_Tock._

_Tick._

_Tock._

There was a sound of a pencil breaking at my left. It was like an automatic response. I looked when I tried hard to ignore him for weeks. And was the result of a sudden noise that isn't even that important to be bothered about during a test.

_Natsume._

It wasn't the pencil's lead breaking. It was the pencil splitting in half. This was pretty odd. Whenever he takes an exam, he usually speeds his way to the last blank on the answer sheet, turn it down, and sleep to his heart's content.

My whole body seemed to freeze. It's been awhile since I got to look at those gorgeous crimson eyes catches everyone's interest. I know that I must've looked pretty stupid to him. He was glowering and I just had to return him a wide-shocked look.

"Natsume, here is a spare pencil."

Ruka-pyon was at it again, providing Natsume what he needs. People might consider that I have a major damage in the brain but I see little things like this rather eccentric. Why would a guy help the egotistical Natsume Hyuuga? Even if it was Ruka-pyon... even if you say that they've been together since they were babies.

It just ain't right.

* * *

After tough and brutal exams, nothing beats food as a stress reliever. Just one bite out of this cheeseburger deluxe is enough for me to reach extreme satisfaction.

_Just one bite._

_Just one bite._

"Is it just me or is Hyuuga acting all odd?" Hotaru quirked a brow at me.

_But, I guess, appetites do get ruined by repugnant questions._

A snigger erupted from Nobara. "Hyuuga has _always_ been weird, Hotaru. And, _you_ know that."

I inched the burger below my jaw and gazed at my friends who were talking about a certain I'll-ignore-you-forever-because-you-are-one-of-those-bitches-who's-crazy-over-me guy. Seriously, they are my friends, right? If so, why are they talking about the 'forbidden name'? Or was it just me who thought it was like that?

"- totally get why Luna, the bitch, goes after -"

_Block hateful words. _

_Block them._

"-jerk-face who disregards our dear Mikan does not have the right to -"

_Vein pops..._

"I so want to hit Hyuuga's eyes with my sharp-pointed darts. That way he'll go totally blind."

_...temper grows short..._

"You two are seriously _whackos_. I can't believe that Anna and Nonoko left me with two people who need to know how to handle their anger management issues,_" _Hotaru stated as she took a sip of her apple juice.

_...explodes!_

"Don't you guys know what the word 'eating' is?" I shouted, slamming my burger back on the plate which cracked as I did so. I stood up, placed my hands on the table. Sumire and Nobara blinked their eyes repeatedly, shocked by my sudden outrage. On the other hand, Hotaru took another sip from her juice.

"...I guess that makes three whackos," she said in a stoic tone, placing down her drink, and crossing her arms over her chest as she moved her attention to me.

It was already too much – too much. They are so getting on my nerves. Every word that comes out of their mouths was like a sharp shuriken directed at me. I'm so fucking pissed off.

"UGH! You guys ruined my appetite alright?"

I whirred around, fists clenched, eyes watery and who knows what else I did or looked like. The chatters died down as I felt all attention diverted to me. _Damn gossipers, they should just get lost and get a life. _

"Lost her appetite?" There was shock present in Nobara's tone. "What happened to her?"

"Must be PMS," Sumire answered.

"But, Mikan... losing... her... appetite... is... so..."

"Unbelievable? Well, yeah, it is."

"Do you think tha-"

I stormed off towards the exit. I need not to hear more of their senseless blabber about me – this time. Tsubasa was coming my way. I do not know what he wanted to do. I can't deal with him now - him who didn't even explain why he hugged me that day.

As I was about to reach for the handle, someone opened the other door. Just like what any normal person would do, I looked at the person who did. When I saw who it was, I thought of how rotten my luck really was. It was no other than that guy who made me like this. And, he was looking at me.

_Don't cry, Mikan. _

A tear slid down face. And that was it – the cue.

I pushed the door open and ran for it. The wind brushing against my skin felt good. My pigtails loosened and, soon enough, the rubber band snapped. I don't care if anyone sees me like this.

I ran, not knowing where I was going. My vision got blurry as tears welled up in my eyes. I was crying. Again. My knees wobbled and I fell to the ground.

"FUCKING WORLD!" I screamed and punched the ground. An unfamiliar pain shot through my arm. I held unto it as I slump my back against the tree's trunk. Tears flowed like a river down my face. My hand was stinging and blood was dripping from the gash.

I had always believed in happy endings...

"_**Fairytales? They're not real, you dope-head." **_

"_**They are real! Someday I'll get my own knight on a white horse, Natsume-kun. And, you're gonna be left on the sidelines watching as he saves me."**_

...he had crushed my hopes of fairytales existing...

"_**Do you believe in love?"**_

"_**Who cares? People will die anyways."**_

... he was the one to break my heart...

"_**You should smile, Polka. You look like you have been deprived of happiness."**_

"_**Why should I smile?"**_

"_**For me? Can't you at least do that?"**_

...yet, he was the one who made it whole again.

"_**You're a Greek statue! You shouldn't speak!"**_

"_**Well, then, that makes you a stupendously dim-witted for you talk to an effigy."**_

He has insulted me many times. But, never did I complain.

"_**Do you love your father, Natsume-kun?"**_

"_**No. Fathers are those who leave their children behind, aren't they?"**_

"_**My father's not like that!"**_

He was right. Every little thing he said was true. My father did leave me and my mom, frightened and unaided. He left us when he said that I need to wait for him to return. He did return – cold, burned and lifeless.

"_**Natsume-kun! Do you believe in fairies?"**_

_Pink petals?_ I looked up. "Sakura tree?" I slurred. What kind of coincidence was this? Just when I was feeling good. I just had to take comfort under the tree that watched our friendship blossom.

"_**Natsume! Why did you do that?"**_

Now, this tree watched how the friendship we built over those five years, wilt in the end.

"_**Smile, you Greek statue!"**_

"Are you happy now, you damn tree?" I shouted crossly with ignominy. "Friendship's over! You might... as... well... wither... and... die."

With that, blackness overpowered me.

* * *

"She...here..."

Isn't that Ruka-pyon's voice? What is he doing here? I tried to stand up but my body was throbbing with pain. I tried to open my eyes. However, I was too weak - too feeble.

"Natsume...did...know...she...be..."

Natsume's here? Why are they're voices so far-flung? I can't understand a single thing.

"Let's...take...clinic..."

I felt strong arms picking me up from the comforts of the ground. It was overly familiar to me. I wanted to see if I was not mistaken. _I must open my eyes. I must take a look. _The more I struggled, the harder it becomes. I was succumbed to darkness. My eyes won't take my command. Soon enough, I had no choice but to give up.

* * *

"Mikan?"

"Mikan?"

"Are you awake?"

My eyes shot open. Nonoko's face came into view. She looked pretty anxious. Was I that badly injured? I sat up and saw my right hand wrapped in bandages. "Why am I in the clinic? Did..."

"So ,the idiot's awake," Hotaru's voice bellowed.

_Idiot?_ I sighed and gave Nonoko a condemned look. "Who brought me here?" I ignored Hotaru who called me an idiot. How dare she? She should apologize first. After all, she should have stopped Sumire and Nobara from saying such morbid things about Natsume. In that way, I wouldn't be sitting here with a bandage on the hand. Though, I think the wound was my fault.

Nonoko's gaze fell on the floor. She wouldn't answer me. _Could it really be Natsume who carried me here? But, why would he do that?_ In the middle of my thoughts, Hotaru came in. Her face contained no emotions just like she always looked like. "Hey, Mikan, why the hell did you punch the _ground_?" She deadpanned.

I wanted to hiss at her. But, I will get another nickname from her if I did. Idiot's already too much to take in for almost my whole life. I'm not that dumb you know. I am just one of those unfortunate humans who aren't gifted with the talent to comprehend things fast. But, I do learn. "Are you just here to lecture me, Hotaru?" I retorted, quelling the irritation forming inside me,

There was a moment of silence – awkward silence. Hotaru heaved a heavy groan and turned around. Her back was facing me. I heard her mumble incoherent curses before she spoke again. "Okay, Mikan. I'll say this once... Sorry." _This was shocking. Hotaru's apologizing?_ It's nice to know that my other best friend is human.

"Apology accepted, Hotaru. Now, where are Sumire and Nobara?" I asked, looking around the room. I saw Hotaru's face changed expressions. She looked like she had been defeated. _See, Hotaru, it's that easy to say sorry._

My attention then fell on Nonoko. "How about Anna?" She gave me a smile, followed by a giggle.

"You totally forgot didn't you?" Hotaru slapped her forehead and shook her head.

"Forgot what?" I asked, completely oblivious to what they are saying. They could say it to me straightforwardly, right? Not ask questions about forgetting what they meant.

Nonoko gave out another giggle and placed her hand over mine. Her eyes sparkled with glee and that was something I knew of. It was... "Today's the start of spring break! They got fetched already. You were unconscious for almost six hours now." Yes, it was spring break. A time we can finally go back to our homes and experience a bundle of family time. This was the best reward any child could get after tormenting tests. And I just lost six hours of it, knocked out cold inside the clinic.

"Seriously!"

"I think you hit your head way too hard," Hotaru concluded.

* * *

I got out of the clinic. Hotaru bid goodbye for her parents were already outside waiting. On the other hand, Nonoko accompanied me to get my things in my room. As we walked, we talked about several things. She told of how freaked out Sumire and Nobara were when they saw me unconscious. She said that they were pacing around the clinic, feeling that it was all their fault. She also let me hear Sumire's apology that was recorded earlier.

"_Mikan, I know you hate me. Forgive me! Please! I don't want you to get mad at me and Nobara. That would be so heartbreaking on my part. But, I definitely don't take back saying that Hyuuga IS a big JERK. Can you possibly have a little piece of love for me? Forgive me, Mikan." _

"_HEY! Hotaru! Get this to Mikan! I want to hear her reply! ASAP! OKAY?"_

"_Idiot, it's still recording."_

"_It is? OH SHIT! Turn it off! Turn it off! Ho-"_

We both laughed at how Sumire sounded in the tape. I bet she was really worried about me. We finally arrived in my room. I got my luggage, tried to hold it in my hand but it slipped out later on. Nonoko carried it for me for my hand was injured. Even though I insisted that I could carry it with my left hand, she didn't allow me to.

"Hey, Nonoko, when will Nobara call to apologize?" I asked as we walked towards the stairs.

"She said that she'll call around nine in the evening when she reaches her house," She answered, struggling with my luggage. It must be really heavy for her. If my right hand wasn't injured at all, I could carry it together with her.

We walked down to the flight of stairs. When we reached the ground floor, we made our way towards the entrance where our families were waiting for us. We talked about her science convention with Anna. She told me that she almost made an explosion by mixing the wrong chemicals. Luckily, Anna was there to tell her not to put it in. She told of how nerdy the people there were. Nonoko has always been a chatterbox. But, she's only this talkative with her close friends.

"That's funny. Oh! I remember! Who carried me to the clinic? I want to know if I heard wrong," I questioned her. She suddenly stops in her tracks as her smile disappeared.

"It was..."

Suddenly, two pairs of footsteps slowly approached from behind us. Nonoko and I turned our heads around to look at the two. My eyes almost fell from my sockets. It was 'forbidden name' and Ruka-pyon. Natsume, who had his right hand behind his head, put it down to his side and stopped walking, and stared at us. Ruka, on the other hand, gave me and Nonoko a small smile and wave. I returned it with a diminutive grin as well while Nonoko bowed her head formally.

"So, are you alright, Mikan-chan?" Ruka asked as he patted his pet Usagi's head. Usagi's a small white rabbit that he always carries around. Ruka-pyon was the one for animals. I bet he has his own zoo at home. I heard him once talking about his pet snake. I wonder what he feeds it with.

"I think so," I replied, raising my right hand with the bandage, indicating that I was sort of injured. Then, I found myself staring at Natsume who was, surprisingly, looking at me. He seemed concerned. But, he could be not. After all, I was always wrong especially when it comes to him.

"Let's go, Ruka," Natsume ordered, walking ahead, ignoring me and Nonoko. Ruka nodded his head towards us and sauntered off to follow Natsume. They passed by us with our eyes following their every move. _What could've happened to the Natsume who I knew back then? _Several theories came into my head. _Could it be that his mother died? Or is it that his sister did? Or did his grandpa force anything he does not like on him again? _There were endless possibilities. However, I doubt any of them was accurate.

And then, I was startled by Nonoko. "How did you befriend such a _rude_ guy, Mikan?" Nonoko asked, a repulsive expression shown on her face. She pulled me by my left hand as she held my luggage in the other hand. "Did my luggage get lighter? You're carrying it like its feather," I stated, completely surprised.

"It's just that obnoxious persons add fuel to my blazing, _crackling_ fire," Nonoko stated with much animosity.

I, then, averted my attention to her. And what I saw made me shiver. Her eyes were like scorching with anger. And it didn't look good. _How could a sweet girl like Nonoko emit such an evil aura like Sumire and Hotaru? _I don't think I should be so shocked about it. Even Anna has her moments of evilness and so is Nobara.

* * *

Sorry for making Mikan into an emo person. :)))))))

I promise that the nest chapter she'll recover her cheerfulness.

**Pathetic Rainbow:** Awww. Thank you. Btw, you're from Amicus, right?

**krizka fierce**: Bru! I updated. 3

**l3va:** I bet he will. :) Thanks!

**amanda :):** Sorry for making you wait again. :)) I'll update this again.

**anim3gurl**: Thanks. :D You can keep on guessing.

**BookWorm312,singwithme **&** xxamutozekiforeverxx:** I took long didn't I? Sorry. :( thanks for the review! 3

**Xxdarkness-angelxX:** Thanks :D

**SparklingSoda:** Thanks you very much. ^^ That was a very detailed review you gave.

**XxblackwingsxX:** LULU-CHAN! Here is the update. 3 Hope you like it!

Please do review!

And thanks for those who subscribed and made this story your favorite. :D

**_2 JUNE 2010_**

**_3:58 PM_**

**(: nineprincess :)**


	6. Chapter 5: He Has His Reasons

**CHAPTER 5: HE HAS HIS REASONS**

* * *

"Mikan, could you get the box of detergent powder from the storage room?"

I licked the cheese on my fingers and stood up, leaving the television open with the sound of Spongebob's voice booming out of the speakers.

It's been three days since I got back home. And, I could say I missed it – especially my mom who likes to tell me to get this and that every now and then.

Nobara has called me and apologized for being so childish two days ago. Of course, being compassionate ol' Mikan, I forgave her. Who wouldn't when the person is serious in rushing all the way to your house just to beg for forgiveness? Moreover, her house is 10 hours away!

I walked my way towards the storage room. I twisted the knob and pushed the door open, automatically turning on the light. Then, a huge wave of shock came over me. The old flickering light bulb has been replaced; the boxes were stacked on top of each other in an organized manner; there were neither dust nor cobwebs on the corners and the household tools are nicely arranged in a neat fashion.

Still surprised, I picked up the box of detergent on one of the cupboards, walked out and closed the door behind me. "Mom, did you have a fever or something?" I asked her as she emerged from the kitchen.

My mother was simply stunning – unlike me. We share the same Auburn hair and docile hazel eyes. However, we differ in the way we carry that look. She exudes an appearance of confidence and elegant beauty while I display the opposite - plain and uncharacteristic.

"Well, no," she answered as she threw the paper towel in the trash bin after wiping her hands. "I just realized it's time for things to change around here. You know what I mean, darling."

"Yeah, I do," I replied with a small smile tugging at my lips. I'm glad that mom has finally realized what she needs to.

A bowl of ramen was placed on the table. It's delicious smell whiffed all around the house, making my stomach grumble in defeat. I picked up my chopsticks and started eating.

_Delicious as always._ I eyed my mom on the far other end of the table. She was removing her apron as she put away her mittens and comfortably sat on the chair. I noticed her smiling at me with her eyebrows raised, waiting for me to say something.

"Still the best, Mom," I said, giving her a gentle smile.

I heard her let out a soft laugh as her chopsticks hit her own bowl which was half the size of mine. Since I was six, I've always wondered why the heck I had the bigger bowl and my parent's used bowls half of mine. Well, sometimes I'd like to think of it as my mom wanting me to grow up healthy and strong and not turn me into a completely corpulent or obese girl at age of 9.

"Mikan, you haven't told me of your _exciting school adventures_. I don't want to miss out all on the details of your super fun life at Gakuen Alice while I was sulking here at home." I almost spat out the noodles inside my mouth. Out of all times my mom had to be random like this, she had to pick the time I was enjoying my food.

"W-Well," I swallowed the lump in my throat. "It's good. School's pretty much what you expect it to be. Chemistry's a language I don't really understand; Geometry's a subject I will never probably _prove_ to be useful – well, I'm not going to be an engineer or something; English is being easy on me with Pride and Prejudice as our topic for the whole year – not as hard as good ol' Shakespeare; and Physical Education is still the best – and also Art class!" That came out pretty natural, didn't it?

My mom's eyes were sparkling with a hint of amusement in them. I gulped. That look means she's feeling something is wrong with me. Oh no. "Mikan honey, something is wrong with your story. I asked about the fun happenings – not how you describe your subjects in personal point of view." She smiled at me as she waited for my _awesome, much-awaited _story.

"Well, _everybody's _doing fine." The word 'everybody' came out through gritted teeth. I know – I'm screwed. "Mom, do I really need to tell you every single detail?" I asked, trying to change the topic.

She put down her chopsticks quietly and picked up her napkin to wipe her mouth – the usual gesture of hers when she wants to say something serious. _She figured it out already, huh?_

I took a deep breath and waited for the question that would make my heart skip a beat.

...

1

...

2

...

"It's that dashing young boy, isn't it?" _One blow._

"I've always thought Natsume would be somehow attractive in your eyes." _Second blow._

I felt like I was dying – that the air suddenly became poisonous to inhale. I shouldn't be acting like this since there was nothing between us back then. We were only...

"You two are the best of friends, right?" Mom asked as if continuing the trail of thought inside my head. _Not anymore. _

"Are you two together now?" _Third...What? _

I was practically stunned by what Mom said. Natsume and I were – I don't want to even talk about it. I wish it worked that way. But, we are far from together and closer to separated. If only I didn't go to Gakuen Alice, I would never have to see his crimson eyes that I have always thought to contain hidden mysteries. They were like an enchanted book that needs a rare spell to be opened or a cave with no light to guide you.

"Oh come on, honey, tell me how he courted you?" My mom, batting her eyelashes at me, had her chin rested on her right palm as her arms were propped up on the table.

Oh God. Help me.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself from the excitement that thought gave me.

Now, Mikan.

"Mom, it's nothing like that."

* * *

I couldn't help but cry when I closed the door to my room after I explained to my mother. I told her everything – from the part he suddenly stopped talking to me up to the weird, profound silence that always seemed to hang above us whenever we are in the same room.

I walked over to my bed and turned on the radio that was on top of my bedside table. Yes, I still have one of those out-of-season radios. No matter what I do I can't seem to throw it away. I guess it's because it's the last gift my father gave me before he died.

Music filled my room. The song didn't help that much in comforting my shattered being.

_**Come on, come on**__**  
**__**Don't leave me like this**__**  
**__**I thought I had you figured out**__**  
**__**Something's gone terribly wrong**__**  
**__**You're all I wanted**__**  
**_

_Is this a ploy or something? Did T-Swift write this song to make me more miserable? Why am I sobbing again? What the hell? _

_**Come on, come on**__**  
**__**Don't leave me like this**__**  
**__**I thought I had you figured out**__**  
**__**Can't breathe whenever you're gone**__**  
**__**Can't turn back now**__**  
**__**I'm haunted**_

"What is wrong with this radio?" I commented after I turned it off. I slammed my face on my pillow. _Gosh, it sure sucks to be me._

* * *

A stream of _new hope _seemed to hit my closed eyelids. _Yeah, I was alive_.

"Mikan, don't sleep on the couch. There's a thing called bed, honey," I heard my mom say.

I opened my eyes and saw a ceiling with a small chandelier hanging above. I sat up and looked around the living room. It was a total _disaster_. It looked like it survived ten consecutive hurricanes or to describe it as a garbage dump would do as well. The television was still playing the movie "A Walk To Remember" and that certainly explains the pile of tissues covered with tears and snot altogether on one corner of the room.

"Mikan, come over here! It's time for breakfast," My mom shouted from the kitchen – maybe.

I stepped up from my comforting garbage dump and into a world of delicious-smelling pancakes and toasts. My mom was seated at one of the chairs near the counter. I took the empty seat next to her as she began talking while I keep my eye on the food next to her.

"Mikan, it's been five days since you came back and all you did for the past two days was to make yourself more depressed than ever. Honey, watching these sad chick flicks will only bring you to be deduced into this." _I know, right? _It's sort of comforting on my part though. My mom always makes problems sound a lot harder.

"Mom , I kno-"

"Look at yourself, honey. You look like a poor little puppy that was left by its owner to die on the streets," she continued once more. "I get it. He's handsome, intelligent and has been your friend for the past few years. No wonder you would fall for him." She just reminded me of things that made me like the bastard.

"Mom, you see i-"

She cut me off again. I should remember to talk first than let my mother do the first talk and finish the rest.

"Natsume is just a boy. And it's not right to grieve over the loss of him. He's not worth it. He's just a friend whom you have developed a little crush on over the years of being all close. You don't have to cry over him and deprive yourself of happiness."_ Okay, that hit me. It was all true. Is this what they call the point of realization? _I seemed to lose all my ability to speak. Things that happened recently flashed in my mind.

I missed classes and stayed the most of my class hours in the clinic.

I lost all my happiness.

"Forget him. It's for the best," Mom said as she handed me over a plate of pancake and toast.

I don't know why. But, I smiled. Maybe, it's due to the delicious plate of food my mom's offering or it could be that my mother's words made its way into my heart.

"Thank you, Mom," I said as I put my hand over my mom's. I started eating and I felt new. Her words healed me somehow. I think this is the first decent conversation I had with my mother. Usually, she makes me more depressed whenever she comforts me.

"You're welcome, honey. I know the feeling of losing someone that handsome and smart," My mom suddenly replied. _Okay. Maybe – it's not that all healing._

* * *

It's now the last day of vacation and Mom went to the salon to have her haircut and her nails bedazzled with nail polish. Being a not-a-fan-of-salons person, I forced her to let me stay home. After five hours of begging her, she finally gave in and instructed me to guard the house well. Yeah, it sounded like I was the dog who needs to keep an eye on burglars.

It's been three hours since my Mom has left. Here I am, in my room, playing the music in maximum volume as I surfed the net. Yeah, I know that I must have my ear drums shattered right now. I guess, God made mine too thick.

I signed in my yahoo messenger account. I scrolled down my messenger list and saw everyone was online even the bastard best friend of mine.

Then a conference invite from Nonoko popped up the screen. It said, 'Boredom strikes and the fire ignites'. Seriously, I thought that was unusual. But, I still accepted it.

_**MiiBerry has joined the conference.**_

_**NobaraIsEvil has joined the conference.**_

_**Pinkitanna has joined the conference.**_

_**PermyWasHere has joined the conference.**_

_**MadScientist3.14 has joined the conference.**_

**NobaraIsEvil: **Hi human friends. :-h

**CyanBorg: **I've got something important to tell you guys.

**Pinkitanna: **Spill it.

_MiiBerry is typing something..._

**MiiBerry**: What's it about, Nonoko? :)

**PermyWasHere**: ... seriously, weird confe message, Noko. :/

**MadScientist3.14: **Get on with it. I still have to finish my new experiment.

_CyanBorg is typing something... _

**CyanBorg: **Ok. Ok. It's about Hyuuga.

Okay. That made me freeze and stare on my screen.

_PermyWasHere is typing something..._

**PermyWasHere: **What? Did he jump off a cliff already? :

**Pinkitanna: **Did he kill himself to suffocation? :)

**NobaraIsEvil: **Is he in the hospital or at a funeral parlor? :)

**MadScientist3.14:** Mikan, are you still breathing?

Then, I realized I was holding my breath for about a minute now. _Sheesh. I forgot about him, didn't I?_

_MiiBerry is typing something..._

**MiiBerry: **Yes, I am, Hotaru. I don't care about him anyways.

**MadScientist3.14: **Good. Nonoko, what is it?

**CyanBorg: **I chatted with Tsubasa and Misaki-chan yesterday.

**CyanBorg: **And, Misaki-chan mentioned something about a dare that happened between Hyuuga, Tsubasa, Ruka and Misaki before Hyuuga started ignoring Mikan.

**Pinkitanna: **So, that could be one of the reasons why Natsume's like avoiding Mikan?

**PermyWasHere: **Maybe.

**NobaraIsEvil: **That's it! Hyuuga was dared to break all ties with Mikan!

**MiiBerry: **That's too simple a reason, Nobara. It's not like Natsume.

**CyanBorg: **There's more. Misaki was about to tell me the whole story when Tsubasa stopped her. He said that Misaki was just joking about that. Weird, isn't it?

**MadScientist3.14: **There is definitely a connection with the dare and how Hyuuga's behaving. My instincts tell me so.

**NobaraIsEvil: **Genius instincts. :P

**NobaraIsEvil: **If Hotaru says so, then I agree.

**PermyWasHere: **Me too!

**Pinkitanna: **Count it three!

**Miiberry: **Uhm. Maybe?

**CyanBorg: **Make it four!

**MadScientist3.14: **I have to go through investigation of this case. I gotta go. Bye.

_**MadScientist3.14 has left the conference.**_

**PermyWasHere: **I need to go as well. My mom's shouting for me to get dress. I guess... we're going somewhere again. See you guys tomorrow!

_**PermyWasHere has left the conference.**_

**Pinkitanna: **Bye too! Got to go now! Have to watch Yumeiro Patisserie.

_**Pinkitanna has left the conference.**_

**NobaraIsEvil: **Sheesh. Leaving as well. Gotta go to my evil mob. XD

_**NobaraIsEvil has left the conference.**_

**CyanBorg: **So, Mikan, are you alright? :)

**MiiBerry: **Yeah! Of course!

_But somehow worried again. Who wouldn't be?_

**CyanBorg: **Sure? I gotta sign out as well. Bye, Mikan! See you!

_**CyanBorg has left the conference.**_

I closed the conference window and stared at the monitor for a while. Then, suddenly, an IM was sent to me by Ruka. I was surprised. We were just talking about the dare they had before. And, now, he IMs me.

**FrenchCarrot: **Hi Mikan! :)

_MiiBerry is typing something..._

**MiiBerry: **Hello Ruka-pyon!

**FrenchCarrot: **So, how's vacation?

Okay, this is definitely strange.

**MiiBerry: **Good. Yours?

**FrenchCarrot: **Boring. Uhm... can I ask you something?

**MiiBerry: **Sure. What is it?

**FrenchCarrot: **Is Imai-san mad at me? She keeps on blackmailing me. You're her best friend you should know that, right?

Ohhh. That's what it is about? Funny, Ruka-pyon.

**MiiBerry: **Haha. No, that's normal for Hotaru. You would be shocked if she doesn't act like that.

**FrenchCarrot: **Oh. Mikan, I wanted to tell you that Natsume isn't angry with you.

**FrenchCarrot:** He has his reasons why he's avoiding you.

**MiiBerry: **What reasons?

**FrenchCarrot: **And, it's not about what Tsubasa has said to him. I know you've heard of that.

**FrenchCarrot: ** I'm sure Imai would've told you about that.

**MiiBerry: **What reasons, Ruka-pyon?

**FrenchCarrot: **I can't tell you. It's against my promise to him.

**MiiBerry: **I understand. You don't have to. Thanks.

**FrenchCarrot: **I'm sorry, Mikan. I just needed to tell you this. Even if it's not the whole story.

**MiiBerry: **Thanks, Ruka-pyon. I have to go now. Bye!

I signed out of yahoo!messenger. I just couldn't take all these information in one sitting. Just when I got over him – Natsume. I started to have that high hopes of him being my best friend again. I just look silly right now. Tomorrow, I promise to not let myself be carried away with what Ruka-pyon has said.

But, somewhere in my heart, something tugged at it and said that it's true and I must believe it. _He has his reasons. _What could be those reasons? If I could only name one.

I closed my laptop and just stared at my disastrous desk. Then, my eye caught a notebook – it was all too familiar. I opened it and saw my handwriting when I was in 5th grade at the first page.

**5****th**** Grade || XoXo**

His name is **Natsume Hyuuga.**

He has _red_ eyes.

He likes to read comics.

He's like a statue in a museum.

** He doesn't smile nor laugh.**

** He's super smart!**

He's _observant._

** He has a fan club! :O**

He looks like a monk sometimes. I wonder why. But, he isn't human. I think. XD

** HE'S NOT A STATUE BUT AN 11-YEAR-OLD PERVERT. THEREFORE, HE IS HUMAN**

Yeah, it sucked. What I wrote and how I had written it. I can't believe I actually made a notebook of what I knew about Natsume since I met him. I must have looked like I was the President of his fan club rather than Koizumi. Seriously. I'm now thinking that I must be more of a fan rather than a best friend.

"This is so embarrassing," I whispered as my jaw dropped.

The last entry was about three months ago! And it's about how hot he looked under the cherry blossom tree. _God. I must have myself killed._

"Mikan, are you still alive and breathing?" Mom shouted.

Why do people always ask if I'm alive these past few days? Sheesh.

"This _is really_ embarrassing," I said once more as I took a last glimpse of my notebook before I went downstairs to show my mom how alive I am.

* * *

I'm very sorry for not updating for the 6 or 7 months. I have a lot of school work and I find time once in a while to write a piece of this chapter.

But, I only got the time to finish it today since it's Christmas Vacation. But, we still have lots of projects to do. Yeah, it sucks. It's been

frustrating this school because of the new curriculum and all. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.

I made Mikan less emo here and almost on the verge of recovery.

She falls then stands then falls midway again.

Please do review! Thanks so much!

**singwithme; Dreamy Drizzles; katielicious: **Thanks for the review, guys! and sorry for the late update - too late. :)

**ProxySoul29: **I'm sorry I took too long to update. Even when you said it many times in your review. :)

**Kylee-Cat: **Thanks so much for the review. I hope you review this chappie as well. ^^

**yExhina_sAkUrei: **Thanks! And I apologize for not updating earlier. But, I promise to update this again sometime this week or next week.

**TheHeideePayas: **Haha. Yeah, it's quite confusing. :)) Thanks!

**XxblackwingsxX: **Sorry for making you cry, Lulu-chan! :)

**krizka fierce: **Yo! Krizka! :)) Here it is again! :)

**anim3gurl: **I agree! :)) No girl deserves that. Anyways, thanks for the review!

**XxMidnightPrincessxX: **Yeah, maybe he is. :) Sorry for not updating soon. :)

**Kuroichibineko: **It will eventually unfold in the next chapters. :) ;)

**_23 DECEMBER 2010_**

**_3:58 PM_**

**(: nineprincess :)**


	7. Chapter 6: I am still this worried

**CHAPTER 6: HE'S MY EX-BESTFRIEND AND I AM STILL THIS WORRIED **

* * *

As I went down the stairs, images of what was written in my 'Natsume' notebook flashed in my mind. I raised both of my hands to touch my cheeks which were turning scarlet red. _Mikan, don't fuss over that. You were stupid back then. _Yeah, stupid enough to fall for him. I held unto the railing and walked down hurriedly.

"Mikan, I'm in the kitchen."

So, I walked over to where Mom was. The moment I stepped into the kitchen, my whole body seemed to freeze. Tons of plastic bags containing medical supplies such as bandages and such came into my view. I grabbed a kitchen stool, located in front of my mother, and sat.

"What the fuck?"

I wanted to slap myself for saying that. I never had the intention to openly cuss in front of my mother. But, when I got a closer look at the amount of bandages – which exceeded even our school's stock, I could not hide my sheer disbelief.

"Mikan, don't curse like that," she said as she gave me a warm smile. "Is that what you learn from school?" She mockingly questioned as she continued arranging the medical supplies on the table.

I ignored her question. My jaws fell at the sight of numerous things which were all used for injuries and serious cases of wounds. I stared at each of them and the amount of my speechlessness heightened.

"Mom, I'm not going to a place where World War III would break out," I said matter-of-factly while picking up a roll of tourniquet and raising it to meet her gaze.

"It's for safety purposes, Mikan. And who knows when and where war may happen," she stated as she placed the last bottle of hydrogen peroxide on the table. _Really now. Hydrogren Peroxide? And in different concentrations too?_

"Gakuen Alice is located in the middle of the forest, Mom." I placed the roll of tourniquet, that I was holding, back on the table. Sometimes, I wonder if my stupidity originated from my mother. _I just wonder._

Mom looked straight at me. The medical supplies she bought were all neatly arranged in front of me. "Honey, I'm just worried, okay?" She reached out to me and held my hand in between hers. "I don't want to see you injured anymore next time I fetch you," she said as she raised her other hand to pat me on the head.

I felt her concern and I was happy about that. I'm so lucky to have a mother like her. "Mom, I appreciate your concern. But, I don't think I need a lot of those. Our school has a complete set," I said with a smile that says 'believe me'.

"Oh, these aren't all for you. The nearby clinic asked me to keep their stocks for awhile," she stated and flashed me a bright grin. _Okay, I so wanna die now._ She pushed a roll of tourniquet and a small box of band-aid towards me. "These are yours. And, this." She got something from under the kitchen cabinet, and it stunned me to shame.

"…"

I'm so speechless that I couldn't make myself say anything. Well, I could probably say tons of curses right now. _Yeah, I really needed that._

"Don't you like it? I got it in your favorite color!" My mom squealed as she held that thing up.

"Mom." A vein popped on my head. "I don't need _freakin'_ orange-colored boxing gloves!"

"But, Mikan, since you're punching hard objects lately, I think you really need that."

I wanted to murder someone right now. Please, God! Help me.

"Mom!"

* * *

I threw the boxing gloves on the floor and sat down on one of the edges of my bed. A deep sigh escaped my lips and I kicked my slippers off my feet. This day has been – well – unproductive. Tomorrow, I'm going to face the most-awaited battle of the century: meeting Natsume Hyugga again.

I've programmed myself for days that I will not be bothered about him anymore. But, earlier, Ruka and Nonoko just had to mess up my perfectly perfect meditation. What did Ruka mean by that? Seriously, I can't help but be bothered about it even though I said that I would not care about anything related to my _ex-_best friend. But, still –

"UGH!" I grunted as I lay down the bed and stared at the ceiling.

I looked over my bedside table and read the time on the clock. _9:00 pm. _I should sleep now. I still have to wake up 5 o' clock in the morning tomorrow. With a low sigh, I got up and went over to my dresser. I randomly picked out a pair of sweat pants and a shirt.

I pulled my towel from the rack and walked over to the bathroom.

* * *

I cursed inwardly as I stared at myself in the mirror. I was wearing crimson sweat pants and a shirt that has a print 'I love your eyes'. Could this day get any worse?

I walked out of the bathroom and plopped down the bed. I stared at space for some time. _I will not bother myself with him. _I shut my eyes close. I was about to drift off to dreamland when I remembered what Ruka said – again.

_He has his reasons why he's avoiding you._

My eyes shot open. Seriously, let me sleep. I looked over to the clock again and saw that it was already 11 o clock in the evening. Just another hour and it will strike twelve. And, I don't wanna turn back into being emo Mikan.

Don't be bothered. He's your _ex-_best friend. He's not important to you anymore.

It was painful but it's the truth.

* * *

I don't know why but I feel like everything's alright – unusual, huh? It must be because I finally realized how stupid and pathetic I am. Before the school break, I was all emo – punching the ground, watching horribly sad movies, and feeling like the whole world was against me.

"Sup, Mikan?" Koko, who seemed to just appear randomly, greeted me. Well, one of his buddies, eh? What a way to let me forget him. Whoever controls my fate sure dislikes me.

I gave him a small smile and replied, "Well, feeling normal as of late. You?"

"I'm fine." His expression changed from normal to teasing as one corner of his lips tugged upward. "Well, isn't that great news? No more sappy, emo Mikan." He flashed me a blinding grin with his perfectly shiny teeth. I could tell that he was partially mocking me. Well, _partially_.

"Yeah. Whatever, Koko." I dismissed him with a waving hand as I closed my locker door and began walking to class. I saw him shook his head as he administered a low laugh before I completely turned around the bend.

I heaved a sigh and looked at the scenery outside the windows. As always, it was stunning. The forest stretched vastly as the sky seemed to be painted with mixed colors of blue and yellow. Removing my gaze from the breathtaking view, a hallway – with less number of students as far as I could remember – came into view. Yes, I also couldn't believe that I'm actually back at school.

I as well as the others arrived yesterday. It was a pretty long drive from home to here. During the ride, I felt like I was watching a live Beatles' concert – difference is they only sang one song in _repetition_. And, imagine listening to it for five hours with a mother who was singing along to it. I know – _what the hell, right?_

So, moving on, I was practically knocked up dead the moment I reached my room. I didn't even bother listening to Nobara's story about how her twin _(evil)_ cousins got arrested for sneaking into their own house or be bothered about getting hit by Hotaru's baka gun.

And as of this moment, I can't wait to see Natsume Hyuuga to test my inner bastard-immunity-shield. Or you can simply say that I want to see if I will still feel emotional around him.

Yeah, I'm pretty confused myself.

* * *

Hotaru was the only one in the room when I arrived. She was busy with one of her inventions when she looked up and gave me a small nod. I smiled, placed my bag on the space beside my chair, and sat down.

"Hey, Hotaru! How was your vacation?" I asked, cheerfully, while looking at her.

She turned her head to look at me with a seemingly questioning face. I couldn't quite tell because it's the same as her usual expression but there's a different feel to it. You know what I mean?

"What happened to you?" She asked.

"What?" I met her gaze. As I can see that my plan to not answer was useless because of the way her icy stare penetrated into my soul, I answered – reluctantly, "Okay, fine. I finally realized how much of a fool I was. There! Now, quit it with your stare. It gives me chills."

She just shrugged and went back to fixing her invention. I sighed. _Shouldn't she at least say that it's nice of me to realize? _

I picked up my bag and fished out my notebook and pen and placed both of them on my desk.

"It's _common_ for you to realize it this late," Hotaru muttered, almost inaudibly.

It's not the exact sentence I'd like to hear. Without moving my gaze on the board in front, a smile made its way to my face. I crossed my arms on the table and replied, "I know."

* * *

This is weird. It's already time and not a soul of Natsume Hyuuga. Even Ruka – who is always with him – has entered the classroom already. I know I've said I shouldn't bother about him. But, without him here, I could not test my so-called immunity shield.

_Riinggggggggggggggggggg!_

The bell rang like the world was about to end. It rang like a girl shrieking for help. It rang and Natsume was nowhere in the classroom. And, I was feeling uneasy. It's unlikely of him to not attend classes. There must be a reason.

I looked around the classroom and everyone was chatting happily with one another. I saw Anna a few rows from me. She was talking to Mochu. She seemed to notice me as she waved towards my direction. I smiled back at her. _Okay. Mochu's here as well. Where could he be? _I continued searching the class for any person with a pair of crimson eyes. But, it was no use. He was not here.

I gave up and slouched back on my seat, releasing the tension which was building up in me. _Mikan, you should be happy he's not here. That way – it's easier. You'll just test that immunity shield tomorrow. _

I turned my head to see that the seat on my left was empty. I'm so not used to this. My gaze landed on the boy seated behind that empty spot. He was not his usual self. Ruka-pyon – for the first time – seemed to be sad.

"Ruka-pyon?"

"Huh?" He raised his head and our gazes met. "Uh. Mikan," he greeted without the usual bliss which was always present in his tone. "So, how are you?"

"Uh. I'm fine." Should I ask?

"Ano…. Ruka-pyon, why is –"

"Good morning, class~!" Narumi –sensei's voice cut through my question. My attention turned towards our teacher who was wearing a silk polo with frilly edges and tight, faded skinny jeans. _Saved by Narumi. _

"Good morning, Narumi-sensei!" The whole class responded except for me and Hotaru. Instead of a warm greeting, I heard Hotaru utter an almost inaudible 'idiot gay teacher' as I caught a glimpse of her stamping an 'x' sticker in her notebook. She's really scary sometimes. It's obvious that she's controlling herself from murdering our beloved teacher.

"Since today's the first day of this semester, we're having our free time for homeroom and English class," Narumi-sensei said as he raised his pointing finger up. "Wouldn't all of you like that?" He flashed his famous, blinding smile.

The class cheered and began thanking him. This is why some could tolerate him. It's because of his _kindness _and tons of free time. I think that he's _too _fashionable – more like flashy – sometimes.

"Oh. And, one of your classmates, Hyuuga-san, took a leave for about a month." A month? What? It was beyond imagination. _Why that long?_ The whole class' cheers died down. It was replaced by whispers of doubt. Narumi-sensei held out a paper and continued, "Don't worry. He's just taking a month trip to the United States. It says here that he's just going to attend a family matter there."

Really. He doesn't even like his family except for his mother – that is. What on earth is happening?

"So, okay?" Narumi-sensei raised his thumb up. "Let's now have our free time! Yipeee~" He twirled around like a ballerina in front and landed perfectly on his chair. Usually, I would think that it was funny and start roaring with laughter but I just didn't feel like doing that right now. Something else is bothering me to great extent. I fumbled on the button of my uniform. _So, that means I won't see him for a month. I know that it would be a great chance to forget about him. But, I just feel like nothing's right._

"Uhm. Mikan, what was your question earlier?"

I almost toppled over my seat. I turned around only to find Ruka-pyon looking at me. It seems like he's asking what I was supposed to say before Narumi-sensei barged into the room with a lot of sparkles surrounding him. "Ah. That. I just wanted to ask where your pet rabbit was. You seem to not have him today," I lied as I gave him a seemingly natural smile.

He looked like he was disappointed by my question. "Ahhh." He scratched his head as he grinned. "I left him in my dorm room. He was still sleeping. I didn't want to disturb him," he replied as if it wasn't the question he was expecting. Well, it wasn't really the question I wanted to ask in the first place anyways.

"I thought you were going to ask me about Natsume," he continued before giving attention to his cellphone which blinked in repitition. _Must be a text message._

Oh gosh. He's too honest sometimes. "Not a chance. I don't bother myself with him anymore," I said as I turned my attention back in front. I knew it was a lie. And, it doesn't hurt, right? It's only a simple white lie. Narumi-sensei was filing his nails and blowing on it repeatedly. Seriously, he's such a homosexual _sometimes._

"Idiot, you just realized that you're a fool. But, that doesn't mean you're not worried about him."

I wanted to turn deaf right there and then. Hotaru really has her ways of comforting me. Really. And, it's not really my idea of comfort. But, as always, she figured it out faster than me. I wonder why I have a brain like this. I couldn't even figure out my feelings that fast! Am I really this dense? But, I can't deny this now. No, I can't.

**He's my _ex-_best friend and I am still this worried.**

_I should get another life. Who wants to trade?_

* * *

Hi guys! It's been months! I'm so sorry.

School really got me. It's now vacation time and I'm going to spend it

with review classes for entrance exams and a workshop for writing.

Yeah, I should get another life. :)) I'm so sorry. I'll update more often.

Please do review! It encourages me to update fast!

I tried to make this chapter sound fun and, well, it's quite an ending for a chapter

but I'll add another chappie this first week of April. I already started writing it.

Thanks so much to those who reviewed, listed this as their fave or had this on alert!

:)

**Saikono-san:** Thanks so much! :)

**anim3gurl: **Hahaha. Yeah, that's true. Sometimes, I wonder why I made him like this. Oh well. But, it's his character here.

**Kylee-Cat:** :D I thank you so much! I'm happy that you're always reviewing. Yes, Tsubasa sort of has a big part here.

But, I did not put any Tsubasa scenes in this one. I don't think it's necessary. He'll be in the next chapter! Definitely.

**lollovelolipop:** Awww. Thanks! :)

**_31 MAY 2011_**

**_4:55 PM_**

**(: nineprincess :)**


	8. Chapter 7: Crazy Day of Ups and Downs

**CHAPTER 7: CRAZY DAY OF UPS AND DOWNS**

* * *

The two-hour chemistry period with Jinno-sensei felt like eternity. It was like I had my own clock ticking inside my head. Crazy. I was definitely going crazy. I admit that chemistry is not my best subject – well, I certainly don't get a D+ in it for no reason at all. I mean – with Jinno as your teacher, you would probably be praying to all the forces controlling the world for you to get an A. Hotaru's the only exception though. She doesn't even need to listen to get an A+. I wish God bestowed upon me insane gifts too. Was I that bad in my previous life?

_Ugh. _My gaze travelled to the empty seat on my left – for the hundredth time. _C'mon, Mikan. Get a life. He doesn't care about you. Why should you be concerned whether he's dead or not? _ I'm really, really trying my best to not give a damn about that bastard. But –

I know. I'm failing at it. Please, don't shove it in my face.

"M…s..Sa…ra?"

Natsume Hyuuga is not important to be worried about. Psh. He's just your ex-bestfriend.

"Miss Sakura?"

Okay. I'm really imagining things now. I hear Jinno-sensei calling me. Now, that would be oh-so weird. Why would he be calling me?

"Idiot, stop smiling to yourself and answer the damn question on the board," Hotaru whispered loud enough for me to hear.

What question? My gaze landed on Jinno who was now a meter away from me and holding out the marker for me to take. "Miss Sakura, I assume you know the answer to the problem presented in front since you have been occupied with other things earlier," he stated sardonically.

_Gulp. _I gripped the marker in my hand and clumsily made my way to the front. At the back of my mind, I wish I knew how to solve this. But, let's face reality, shall we? When I finished reading the problem, my mind went emptier than ever. What the hell was molality and molarity? What the hell is Methyne and Butane? What on earth am I _supposed to do_ with this question?

Before I even knew it, I was going to have detention this afternoon.

I don't know what his problem with Jinnotalyne Sulfuric Acid is. Isn't that the purpose of nomenclature in chemistry? To name chemicals to whatever you prefer?

"Mikan-chan! That was really hilarious. Thumbs up!" Mochu bellowed before he exited the room with Koko.

Anna, still giggling, approached Hotaru and I. Really. Why the hell did I get detention?

Hotaru's cellphone began to ring non-stop. I saw her hesitate upon seeing the screen; but, she excused herself and went outside because the signal inside this room is as crappy as Jinno's unreasonable decision of sending me to detention.

"Mikan-chan, you forgot about Jinno's ten commandments didn't you?" Anna asked with a laughing smile.

"Were there any?"

"Yes! One of it stated that you shall not use my name – Jinno – in any practical joke or laughing stock!"

Okay. I really did deserve that detention. But, hey, at least I thought of a cool chemical name. But then again, detention is next to Chemistry on my hate-forever list. Oh, boy, what a long day this would be.

"Isn't it weird, Hotaru?"

I settled my tray on top of the table and occupied one of the chairs. It is now lunch time and the thought of Natsume's absence still kept bothering me as if my life depended on it. It must be because I think that it's absurd for him to reason out his family for this. Why not tell the truth? _That he wants to get out of here and stay away from me. _

"What is?" Hotaru's cold, unconcerned voice channeled me back to the real world.

"Natsu – what I'm trying to say is –"

"Hello dear ol' friends!" Nobara greeted as she and Nonoko came to sit down two of the vacant chairs surrounding the table. Soon enough, Anna and Sumire took their places as well. My mouth went dry and I held back the words I was about to say.

"Nobara, do you have the thing I asked you to buy?" Hotaru asked, seemingly to overlook my previous statement which was abruptly cut because of the arrival of the other members of the Anti-Natsume committee. _Yippee. _

"Oh! Yeah, I have it right here." Nobara went straight for her backpack and fished out a large can about the size of Pringles' tall one. It certainly piqued my interest – all of us as I could see the rest eyeing the thing as well.

"Crab Brain Chips?" Nonoko read, her head slighty tilted to the right.

"Give me that." Hotaru hurriedly snatched the can and slid it inside her bag. Afterwards, she looked at each of us and raised a brow.

"…"

"What?"

Well, I had known about Hotaru's uncanny craving for crab brains when we were around second grade. I remember her encountering this exotic dish during our field trip in one of the provinces around Hokkaido. The moment the old lady placed down the crab brains for us second graders to eat, Hotaru's eyes went from blank to ravenous. She devoured all of it like it was the tastiest food in the entire universe. But, the others – me included – either sputtered or reluctantly swallowed the spoonful we ate. Truth be told, I never want to experience eating that stuff again – ever. And now, here comes the Crab Brain chips. _Seriously, has the world gone mad?_

"Never mind," Nonoko said as she took a bite out of her Cheeseburger deluxe.

After that, the whole committee fell silent except for the sound of Hotaru's fingers hitting the keys in her laptop. The silence was deafening. I was so not used to it. Usually, they would talk endlessly as if we don't have enough time before the world starts to come down. But, today, they're all paying attention to their own meals rather than ranting about random stuffs.

"Okay" – I took one last sip from my Cola and placed it down gently – "What's with the sudden muteness?"

They all turned to look at me. I saw Nonoko give Anna a small nudge on the side while Anna shifted her gaze towards Sumire, who then gave Nobara a knowing glance. As for Hotaru, she just continued to type.

"It's just that…we heard about the Dev– I mean Hyuuga's leave of absence," Sumire clarified with a hidden tone of mirth. Of course, she is secretly rejoicing. No more _bastard _for them – at the least.

"We figured out that you're going to freak out again if we talked about it," Anna said. "So, we all agreed to shut up." She did a gesture as if to zip her lips shut. I wanted to roll my eyes at her but – well – I can't. It was the truth after all. I might go berserk if they did. But, somehow the silent treatment isn't much of a help too.

"That's _brilliant_ of you people." Hotaru had stopped typing away in her laptop and she was holding her chopsticks up as she pointed at each of them. It's unlikely of her to commend people; however, this one was not even close to a neutral greeting from her. The sarcasm in her pitch was gravely marked. Emphasizing the word 'brilliant' gives way to that thought.

"But, haven't you ever thought that this idiot won't charge at you like a wild bull if you stay _eerily _quiet like that?" Her right brow rose, mocking them.

Hey! I don't act like a bull. I may be hot-tempered, clumsy – but, I'm no bull. How can she compare me to some aggressive animal like that? How can my _one and only_ best friend say that?

"And you" – one of Hotaru's chopsticks pointed at me – "don't pretend like nothing's going on with you. I adamantly thought this morning you were going to be okay. But, no, things happened this way and you're still bothering me with your Hyuuga problems. He isn't even worthy to be your friend in the first place. Are you trying to live your life like you're in hell?" she said – still with no trace of emotion except the hint of concern and exasperation pointed out in her tone.

"…"

_Silence. _

Three pairs of chopsticks hit the canteen floor. And, one of those is mine. As shocking as it may seem, Hotaru just said the longest sentence she could ever devise since I've come to know her.

Nobara, Sumire and I scrambled down to pick up our chopsticks. We exchanged glances and we know that Hotaru's acting weird again. Something must have happened. Definitely.

When I sat up, I could see Nonoko and Anna staring at her.

_Ooohh. _Something's on. And, Hotaru didn't even tell me.

"Hotaru, what's wrong?" I asked, trying my best to sound like I was not the object of her nuisance as of the moment.

"You and your frantic concern of someone who likes to think you don't exist," she replied deprecatingly. That hit the spot just right there. It was straightforward – too much, I suppose.

"Hotaru-chan, it's not Mikan-chan's fault, you know," Anna claimed.

"I know." Hotaru gathered her things, stood up and walked to the direction of the exit.

Okay. Something's really going on that I don't know about.

"What the hell is up with Hotaru?" Sumire immediately asked as Hotaru finally made her way out of this crazy, jam-packed canteen.

"Haven't you guys heard?" Nonoko questioned.

"Obviously not. Will we be asking you if we knew? C'mon, Nonoko." Nobara rolled her eyes as she huffed her bangs away from her eyes.

I would be laughing now if only the topic wasn't so serious. It's as if I don't have problems on my own. I obviously have a lot on my shoulders right now. Those baloney dilemmas I have been dealing with. The last time I saw Hotaru like this was when, was when –

No. Is this about him?

"Is Yuu coming back?" I suddenly blurted out. I just had to.

Sumire and Nobara snorted as they looked at me as if I was out of my right mind. On the other hand, Nonoko and Anna just exchanged glances. I was right, wasn't I?

"Are you cra –"

"Yes, Yuu's Aunt called her earlier," Nonoko said.

It was all I needed to know. I should have known. Was that the phone call Hotaru was hesitant to answer? Haven't Yuu made it clear to his Aunt about their relationship yet? Oh, God. This is so not happening.

"When?"

"Next semester."

With that, I grabbed my backpack and sprinted out towards the exit. Before I did, I looked back at them. Sumire and Nobara seemed to be assaulting Anna and Nonoko with questions which the bubblegum duo answered calmly. I realized I have been selfish all this time. I never even bothered asking my friends of their own problems. I just kept on bombarding them with my own.

I can never imagine Hotaru angry at me. And, I cannot afford to lose anymore of my friends.

* * *

I was tired and my breathing was getting edgy. I've been running for about twenty minutes now and still no sight of Hotaru. Where could she have vanished off to? I've checked her laboratory, her room, libaray – everywhere!

I slumped down the nearby bench as I tried to catch some air. Why is finding Hotaru this difficult? Or is it that I'm just bad at everything I do? It must be the latter.

"Mikan?"

I looked up and saw Tsubasa standing in front of me. "Oh. Tsubasa, have you seen Hotaru?" I asked.

"Nope." He took his seat next to me, ruffled his hair and sighed. "Why are you looking for her? Aren't you two like – uhm – glued together?"

"It's because of _something._"

Silence enveloped the atmosphere. It's funny how people nowadays prefer silence over laughter. It's getting overrated and I presume it's not a good thing. Before, I never felt this awkwardness between Tsubasa and me – that is before Hotaru told me he was the one who told Natsume that I like him. I would always feel light-hearted and good whenever I talk to him. But, not this time around.

"So, heard about Natsume's – you know. I know you heard of it." He turned to look at me. His eyes filled with unanswered questions I can't seem to understand.

"Yeah, funny how I am still concerned with that bastard." My hand impulsively covered my mouth. I just didn't say that. Please, no.

Tsubasa scoffed and covered his mouth with his left hand, controlling his laughter. "Bastard?" He stopped laughing and a wide smile surfaced on his face. "So, your best friend slash Raven Guy is a bastard now?"

"Well, things change. Don't they?" I retorted in a soft murmur. I still can't accept this truth but I must face it. Things change – slowly or not. Sometimes, they do. I sound like an adult.

"Woah. Ran yourself into a wall and cracked your head? Really, Mikan, you're becoming a realist now," he replied mockingly. I swear a vein popped in my head. Just when things are getting serious for once, Tsubasa's juvenile side kicks in. Or was it just me thinking we were in a serious conversation in the first place?

"Yeah. I cracked my empty head and made it emptier." I heaved a heavy sigh and was about to stand up and leave this non-sensible person when he spoke.

"Now, that you've realized that."

Another moment of awkward silence passes by.

"Can you – _how do I say this_ – possibly like someone else besides him?"

My heart stopped for a moment there. It seemed like everything froze in time. I wasn't looking for Hotaru anymore. Instead, I was wondering what could have hit him to say that or if I was dreaming. There are so many questions he could've asked. Yes, there are practically tons of them. But, why this one that made me think other things?

"I don't know. I mean –"

"You must," he intervened as I felt a light squeeze on my left hand. When I turned my head, I saw him looking straight at me. "Just tell me when you know the answer. Okay?"

He stood up and brushed off the invisible dirt on his pants. He took a few steps forward and, suddenly, turned around and smiled at me. I was feeling wobbly again. Somehow, he reminded me of him. No matter how hard I fight that thought it just stays like that. He reminds me of Natsume.

"Don't be much bothered by Natsume. I'm sure he has his reasons. He's not that kind of guy – you know. Even if I don't like him that much. I'm sure now you know why I don't."

He flashed me another warm smile before turning on his heels to the direction of the hallway. He was waving his right hand up in the air – not as a goodbye but more of a see-you-later. He actually said the exact thing Ruka said about Natsume. That he has his own reasons. I'm actually getting sick of that line.

I seriously thought that was weird back there. Tsubasa acting all kind and understanding. It _must_ all be my hallucination. And, Natsume's signature move – the turn-around-and-then-smile action that always seems to catch me off guard. Did he just do that? Or is that part of my illusion too?

_RINGGGG! _

The bell as deafening as it always is. I snapped out of my daze and ran to the lockers. I haven't even picked up my books yet. How can I get any more stupid, dwelling so much on simple things? _Gah. _I forgot. I need to talk to Hotaru too.

* * *

I reached the classroom just when the second bell rang. I wanted to flail my arms up in the air and bellow a victory cheer; however, Serina-sensei was just right behind me and I just needed to sit down on my seat.

Serina-sensei's our teacher for Social Studies. And, I find it quite interesting. Just interesting. I don't excel in it or anything. But, C – is still better than a D +. I don't hate Serina-sensei. Her subject's the thing that's hard. Imagine taking into memory all of those dates and information. One word: information overload. Though I cannot argue that it's a fun subject, it still is one of the hardest.

"Hey Mikan."

I looked on my right side and saw Anna. Right. This is the only class wherein we have a different seating arrangement. And, this is the class Hotaru has been excused from. She practically knows everything needed to know in this subject. That's why she's taking up the higher year's Economics class rather than world history. How can I find her now?

"Yes, Anna?" I whispered back.

She pointed at my blouse and I raised a brow. I looked down and saw a blue-colored sticky note attached to my left sleeve. I removed it from my blouse and read it.

HEARD JINNO GOT A NEW ELEMENT NAMED FOR HIM. I GAVE HIM A NEW FORMULA FOR JINNOLITY. I GUESS WE DIREGARDED HIS COMMANDMENTS. SEE YOU IN DETENTION!

TSUBASA

Oh. That explains the wave.

"Miss Sakura, who wrote the Gettysburg Address?"

I immediately slipped the note in one of my notebooks and stood up afterwards. I don't want another detention, do I? Now, let's answer the question. Wait. Ugh. I don't really remember who did write that speech. Blame me for having a weak memory consistency.

"Uhhh. One of the presidents of the United States?" I said – more like questioned.

"Name?"

_Shit. _I don't know. My eyes landed on Anna for help who just shook her head while smiling and shoved a note on the side of her table which has letters big enough for me to see.

"Uhh….. Abraham – I cannot – I mean" – the note accidentally fell and was luckily retrieved by Anna – "Abraham Lincoln."

"Very good."

I sat down and sighed in relief. That was lucky. I mouthed a 'Thank You' to Anna who just gave me a small wink and continued to jot down notes. I'm really grateful I have such wonderful friends. God blessed me so much in that category.

Now, I just need to talk to Hotaru and face Tsubasa again in detention. And, last but not the least; try to find Natsume's reasons for suddenly avoiding me. What a hectic life I have.

* * *

I only have thirty minutes before my detention starts. And, I will find Hotaru within that span of time. It's now or never. As soon as the bell sounded, I gathered up my things, waved a goodbye to Anna and rushed out of the room.

I wanted to fire a missile at every person I heard talking about their plans to Central Town before the curfew time to go back to the dorms. They'll be having all the fun they want while I rot in detention with Jinno for an hour and a half. But then again, Tsubasa's there which I doubt to be a good thing.

By the time I reached Hotaru's laboratory, I was already panting and holding onto the post near the entrance before I clumsily entered the code. And, then, find out that my genius of a best friend changed the code when the screen projected a large 'X'.

"Ugh," I grunted as I slumped down the cold, cement ground. I should've known.

"Hotaru! Let me in!" I screamed and there was no response. I tried to call her several times; but, still not a single noise except for the gush of wind slowly giving me chills as it came in contact with my skin. I know that summer's finally coming but the spring air still lingers in the air especially now that the day is closing in.

"Hotaru! Let me in or I'll freeze to death!"

Not a sound.

"Hotaru, I'm not here to talk about Hyuuga! Please, just let me in."

To my surprise, I heard a few metals whirring and, soon, the door cracked open. When I looked up, I saw Hotaru's pale complexion and her oh-so-captivating amethyst eyes which seemed to stare down at me. Her goggles dangled on her neck and her gloves were both held in her right hand in a tight grip. What could she be doing inside?

"What do you want then?" Her indifferent voice cut through the air like a dagger slicing one's throat. I just had to gulp. I do it when I'm feeling uneasy.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you even bother?"

I can't believe this. She's acting like she's not my best friend. I know she's shocked and probably furious at Yuu. But, is this really necessary? I get it. When she's mad, she throws her satirical comments at everybody – and everybody, more often than not, implies _me_.

"I'm your best friend, Hotaru. Of course, I care about that."

"…"

"Hotaru."

"I didn't tell Anna and Nonoko. They heard it directly from Aunt Ria."

Anna's a close relative of Yuu and, well, Nonoko is a family friend of theirs since I don't know when. Yuu's Aunt most likely contacted Anna after she called Hotaru. And, Nonoko must've heard it from Anna and decided to keep her mouth sealed.

"I know. I'm not here for that."

"Good. Now, why?"

This is unbelievable. I took in a deep breath and stood up to face her. And, I just had to be a little bit displeased because she's actually two inches taller than me. I had to tuck my tummy in and straighten my back to look all righteous. "I'm concerned – that's why. Don't go all furious over that simple matter. Please, Hotaru. He's not worth getting all Ice Queen now, okay? And, besides, there's still a few more weeks before he comes back. Could you at least hold back your anger?"

"Says the girl who spends her days crying because of some guy who suddenly avoids her." She raised her brow and I could see that hidden smirk beneath her face. I know the comment is hurtful on my part; but, it's her way of comforting me, remember?

"Whatever. We're all clear now, huh?"

"Sure."

She turned around and was about to enter inside her laboratory again. "I'm creating a new invention and it would probably be finished by next semester. Aren't you supposed to be in detention right now?" She asked as she stopped in her tracks to eye me.

I forgot. Oh no.

Horror struck my whole body. "What time is it?"

"5:45."

"Jinno's gonna murder me! I'm 15 minutes late!" I yelled as I repeatedly cursed in my head.

I broke into a fast sprint as I beckoned a bye at Hotaru and disappeared down the slope. Jinno's going to go ballistic. Surely, he will give me a few extra hours of promised detention. Oh God, why oh why?

* * *

"Miss Sakura, you're quite early. Can't wait for a fun time in detention?" Jinno-sensei remarked sarcastically the moment I arrived in the empty classroom where detention was to be held at exactly an half an hour past five.

I bit my bottom lip as I sat down the seat Jinno pointed. I looked up to see the clock on the wall. And it read 5:20. Hotaru really likes to play with me. She's such a kind friend – telling me I'm late and all that. The noisy screeching of the chalk, as Jinno takes his own time writing on the blackboard, really irritated me. Detention's room assignment is in one of the old classrooms where they still have blackboards rather than those slick, dainty whiteboards. As if we'll be using those. Detention is just like a stare down game with your teacher until one of you gives up. But, this is _intolerable_. Can't he write quietly?

When the clock striked at 5:30, Tsubasa – ignoring Jinno-sensei's scowl – entered the classroom and sat down the seat beside me. The room was enveloped in an eerie cloth of tranquility. A few minutes passed by and the silence ticked me off. Luckily, a woman entered the room, walked towards Jinno and whispered incoherent words to him. I saw Jinno's eyes spark with irritation. He trudged outside and asked the woman to keep an eye on us. _As if we'll be going anywhere._

After that, Tsubasa kept on playing with his pen and spinning it in different circular motions. The woman who seems to be a new staff here in this academy fell asleep 15 minutes after she came in. Me? I was counting the leaves falling down the ground. I have about thirty of them and still counting.

"Psst. Mikan."

Tsubasa's smiling at me and he seemed to look so carefree like he wasn't in this hellish detention. Well, Jinno's not around so this detention won't be that torturous. Maybe. "What?"

"So, what's your answer?"

"To what?"

"My question earlier? Don't tell me you forgot about it that quickly."

Ohhh. The can-you-like-someone-else-besides-him question. I haven't really thought about it. And, he's asking me for an answer that quickly. Didn't he tell me that I just let him know when I realize what's my answer?

"Why are you asking me anyways?" I asked, tilting my head slightly to the right like I just spoke intelligently.

"Uhhh. For no reason. Just something that came into my mind," he replied as he shrugged and lifted a brow. "I knew it. You can't, can you?" He teasingly said.

"I can! Are you trying to test me?"

"Just admit it that you can't. Natsume's probably your life line."

I grinded my teeth. _He is not. Never in this lifetime._

"I don't live to please him. I can like someone else besides him and I'll prove it to you."

"Really? How?" He gave me another teasing smile.

Seriously, I thought he was not this immature. Where the hell did the previous Tsubasa fly off to?

"I – uhh – I'll like someone else. That's for sure. And, you'll be the first one to know who it is."

"Ohhh. Is that a dare?" He jerked his head sideways to make eye contact with me. I can see the amusement within his eyes. He's actually entertained, huh? "What if you lose, Mikan? What's the consequence?"

"What if you lose, Tsubasa?" I snapped with a proud smile.

"I don't know. Maybe, I'll tell the girl I like of my feelings."

My guard went down and I blurted out the question. "You would tell her? You mean 'summer girl'?"

Summer girl is the code name Tsubasa gave his long-time crush. As sad as it is, I don't know who this summer girl is except for having a sunny smile. Yeah, what a clue. We exchanged these information when were in our first year. I did not tell him who Raven guy was. I'm not that stupid. It's just that he's that smart. He guessed right away that it was Natsume. Of course, I denied it. But, the more he teased me about it, the more he gained evidence to his allegation. Tsubasa is – miraculously – good at reading people's actions. Even though, he looks like he's as stupid as me. He's got that _insane_ gift. Now, where's mine? I forgot that I don't have any.

"Yes." He propped up his right elbow atop his table and rested his chin on his palm. "Isn't that such great news for you? You've been tracking down this girl since freshman year."

"Ha. Yes, and I tell you now" – I moved in closer to him – "I won't lose." A triumphant smirk spread across my lips. "Now, what's my consequence. Maybe, I should tell –"

"You tell Natsume that you like him."

I froze. The smirk was swept away from my face. No. "What? Are you crazy? No way. The guy hates me," I said as I gave him an intense glare. "I won't participate in this dare anymore. Get your own fun out of something else." I spun my head to face the window so that I could continue counting the leaves falling from the tree once more.

"Really? I was serious with the summer girl thing."

"I was. But, telling him that is another thing – a thing I won't ever do in this lifetime."

"You participate in this dare or" – he paused for a moment and I felt all fearsome. He's definitely up to something that I can't refuse – "I'll tell him."

_Victory._

That spelled victory to Tsubasa. I just can't let that happen. Knowing him, he would really do it. And, I'll be avoiding Natsume for the rest of my life. I now know that he didn't say anything to Natsume about me liking him. Yes, I know now. Still there's this dare that was involve between them before Natsume avoided me. But then again, Ruka said that it's nothing of relation to that.

I turned around and gave him the most severe glare I could give. He was just smirking at me which really infuriated me. He looked so pleased with what he is currently doing. _Entertainment._ He's getting so hiked up just to get some fun out of my problems. Is he my friend or not?

"Fine! I will. But, I won't lose. That's for sure."

"Then, it's a dare. You'll prove it before Natsume comes back."

He pulled something out of his pockets. It was his phone. He lifted it up for me to see. It was on record mode and he just hit the stop button_. God._ There's no way out of this, right? I mean – there's proof. That sneaky jerk!

My reaction basically insinuated distress. "Are you trying to worsen my problems?"

"No, I'm trying to help you solve it," he replied cockily as he gave me one of his famous, prizewinning smirks. He rested his back on the chair's support and produced a short laugh before Jinno barged in the room.

Jinno scolded the new teacher and dismissed us after having us memorize his ten commandments. As I walked back to my dorm room, the things that happened today flashbacked inside my mind. Yes, it's been quite a crazy day. Natsume's leave, Hotaru's rage at Yuu's awaited comeback, Tsubasa's uncanny behavior and his acerbic dare – they're all happened for some kind of reason I don't want to deal with right now. This is going to be a crazy month.

* * *

I know I promised to update this earlier. But, I had to make the chapter longer. And, I had review classes in between so yeah. It's sorta hard to update fast.

So here it is, is it okay? Suggestions please. Hahaha. Please do review! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.

**Ellixx: **Haha. Thanks for the review! Here's an update. Yeah, it just struck me a few days ago. I might change it if I have the time to proofread the whole story. =))

**anim3gurl: **Thanks for the idea! :)) I'm glad that you suggested something like that.

**Akahane-Scarlet-Feather: **Maybe. :)) I cannot disclose that for now. Hahaha. It's part of the twist in this story.

**Shimahiko4ever: **Thanks! :)

**_16 APRIL 2011_**

**_10:37 PM_**

**_(:nineprincess:)_**


	9. Chapter 8: Leave Me Alone

**CHAPTER 8: LEAVE ME ALONE**

* * *

I'm crazy.

Why did I send him e-mail and messages – _which he never returned_ – again? Why do I even bother asking for a sign that he's alive when I know that he probably is? Moreover, why do I still care?

Now, where'd my immunity shield go?

It's been five days since the semester started. At first, I was really optimistic. I went to class enthusiastically, talked casually with my friends. To be simple, I just didn't give any attention to him. However, as the days – _more like two days _– passed by, I began to care… _again_. And, I really hate myself for it.

Yesterday, Hotaru, finally realizing that I'm not acting normally, hacked – like it's the easiest thing – my e-mail account and successfully accessed my mails, which were deleted beforehand, to Natsume. Then, you know what happened.

She went silent the whole morning class. When lunch time came, she bit back with her incongruous remark. She completely drove our group into a fit of shock. Nothing big though. She just called me a _plausible hypocrite._

Not that I've heard of it. I had to check my dictionary after that just to find out that my best friend called me a _credible fake_ or something – at least that's what it said in the thesaurus. Even Luna Koizumi guffawed when she heard of it (she was one of the occupants of the next table to ours, so yeah). She also said something like_ 'Imai, you've just realized it now? Shame. And, I thought you were a genius.' _

But, you know Hotaru, she basically gave Koizumi one of her most lethal glares and the bitch cursed a few words, scuttled to her feet and went out of the cafeteria in a matter of seconds – followed by her minions. If there's something Koizumi's scared of other than a bad hair day, it's Hotaru. I'm surprised that she even had the guts to talk to Hotaru like that.

You might be wondering where the hell I am as of the moment. Well, I'm in detention – with Jinno staring at me like a chunk of meat about to be grilled. It's the second time this week and I believe that Jinno is starting to attack me with big failure marks in all of my seat works. He's devouring every little bit hope of making my mother proud. What's more surprising is that I'm the only one experiencing this torture.

"Miss Sakura, next time you forget the 9th rule –"

"What was the 9th rule again? Was it to call you Jin-Jin at all times?" I asked, keeping me out of my trance.

His eyes sparked with anger. He flinched and his lip twitched slightly. "Miss Sakura, are you trying to challenge my patience?"

_As if you have one, you sadistic, neurotic teacher_, I thought.

"No, Jinno-sensei," I replied. "I remember your 9th comma – I mean, rule. It's not to call you Jin-Jin and address your name formally by adding sensei." _Hidden scowl._

He raised his brow and studied me. "Very well. I'll dismiss you, Sakura but" – he turned around and picked up a chalk – "you have to write down all of my rules in this big blackboard until there's no more space to write in it." He gave me an evil smile as he offered the chalk.

"Funny… Wait." I choked out the words. "Are you serious?"

"I am afraid that I am. Not bigger than three inches per letter," he replied.

I wanted to scowl but that would worsen things. I grabbed the chalk from his hand and examined my big canvas where I'll be writing Jinno's ten evil commandments. The chalk I was holding seemed to be small to fill in this enormous piece of board.

I started to write. I intended the screeching sounds the chalk made whenever it came in contact with the blackboard. I hope that will bug the cells out of him.

But, he didn't look like he cared.

He just read his book which was entitled 'Universe for the Geniuses'. I got to say – he's messed up. He isn't even a genius – _I strongly believe_. For god's sake. I wonder if Hotaru would call him a hypocrite as well.

Half an hour has passed and the board was only one-fourth filled. My hands were starting to ache badly and I'm having these double visions. I think I might pass out anytime. I hope this ghastly teacher will cut me some slack. Besides, there's only about a small piece of chalk left.

And then, I had this crazy idea.

I threw the dusty little piece of stick and went over to Jinno. He was muttering stuff like Polaris and some other alien terms. I cleared my throat to get his attention. He looked up and gave me an irate grimace.

"Jinno-sensei, I hate to be dismissed… but there's no more chalk." _Yeah, I'm out of here._

His expression calmed and he pointed somewhere at the back of the room. "Ah. Is that all? There's some stock over there. You might want to check them out. They've been lonely for years."

Thinking he was just joking, I looked with a smug face, and what I saw horrified me. There, on top of the cabinets, lay hundreds of chalk boxes – waiting for someone to notice them.

Oh how I hate Jinno.

* * *

I was walking back to my dorm room when I decided to take a little detour. I turned left, right, left, another left and then right. Yeah, you get the idea. When I arrived in the school's garden, it was deserted – the way I have always liked it.

I sat down the small patch of grass and gazed at the sky. The sun was almost down in the horizon. It was spectacular. There were different assortments of colors – orange, red, yellow, purple, pink, black, and dark – spread across the skies. I have always loved how everything in nature seems to be like an impossible phenomenon.

"What are you doing here?"

I bolted right up as I was startled by the sudden voice behind me. After that, I had the idea of running away. If this was a teacher, then I would be in for an immense mayhem. Why? It's about an hour past curfew time, and the rules clearly stated that anyone who does not follow this would get a month of community service. I do not like that. _Who does?_

In the count of three, I'm out of here.

One.

Two.

Thre –

"Mikan? Is that you there?"

Now that I've heard this stranger's voice again, he sounds familiar. Suddenly, a hand reached for my shoulders and the force had me turning around to face him.

Guess who?

It was none other than Tsubasa. He flashed me a cheeky yet friendly smile and told me that if he was a teacher I would be sent straight to the office for community service. Yes, I glowered at him. I knew that. He did not need to further elaborate.

"What about you? You're here as well. That makes two violators," I snapped at him.

"I'm not like you. I'm here for patrol duty," he said as he patted my head which messed my hair in the process. I tried to fix my hair while I shot him an irritated face. "Gee. I wonder how you brainwashed Narumi-sensei for him to let you be the official patrol guard."

I plopped down the grass once more as Tsubasa followed my example. He had that proud glint in his eyes. Sometimes, he's so egotistical and I just cannot help questioning it. I mean, he's not that intelligent and – well – his looks are a little bit above normal. His self-esteem doesn't make sense to me at all. While I kept my own negative thoughts to myself, he answered, "I don't know. An A+ in his subject. I guess?"

I froze. _He got an A+?_ Him – _Tsubasa Andou_. Am I hallucinating or what? I don't even get a B through all three years in high school. And, he got an A+. I scrutinized him – his appearance, and all. Subsequently, I concluded that he was joking. _Right?_ There's no way he'd get that kind of grade.

"Ha-ha. Tsubasa, I'm not buying that."

"Don't you believe me? I'm telling the truth."

A rash twinge of guilt hit me. What would I say? I doubted him once. And, it wasn't really much of a good thing. "Heck yeah… but not this time. You're obviously lying," I shot back.

"Fine then."

There was an uncomfortable peace around us and, for the nth time, I felt anxious. Yes, I believe I have become paranoid with silence since the first day of this semester. Or, maybe, it was after Natsume ignored me. I don't really know but one thing is for sure – I need to talk now even if what I'm going to say is way off the line.

"Tsubasa, I've heard something about a dare you guys had before. Can you tell me?" I asked and glanced at him in the process. He was not smiling – yes, I figured that he did not want to talk about it that much. It seems like it's not much of a fun experience.

"Well, I'm not expecting for an–"

"It's something about girls. And, well, I really do not like to tell it to you," he said hesitantly. "The dare was simple actually but because of that, Natsume punched me. I shall not explain details. However, it's got nothing to do with – _uh_ – him being cold towards you."

I have to admit that I was surprised. I did not expect him to give me such an honest reply. Yes, I thought he was going to deny his participation in the dare. But why did Natsume punch him? He's not that violent of a person. Speaking of dares, I know we have this sort of dare – or bet. I have to keep my mouth shut about it. So, I planned to go back to my dorm room before anyone sees us and suspects some budding romance between the two of us. That would be _so _wrong.

"Hey, you only have three more weeks left before we get to decide who wins and who loses," Tsubasa said as he flashed me a grin. He seemed to recover that easily from such an awkward topic.

I snorted and told him, "Oh. I'll win. Definitely. See you when I see you!"

"Got the memo, Mikan. I'll see to it that you lose though," he shouted back before I entered the hallway, trying my best not to be caught by a _real_ patrol guard.

* * *

"So, you're saying that _Mikan_ sent the devil _some _twenty e-mails this week?" Sumire said, keeping her eyes trained on me. She's been doing that for the last twenty-five minutes since I arrived.

"Yes, I believe that she's gone _loco_," Nobara replied and took a sip from her lychee smoothie.

"Are you calling me crazy?" I asked in disbelief, certainly offended.

"Well, does _loco_ mean anything else in your Spanish dictionary?" Sumire retorted in her ruthless expression.

I rolled my eyes intentionally. "Oh. I don't know… 'cause I don't _freaking_ speak Spanish."

Saturday was supposed to be a _fun_ time in Central Town with all of my friends. Not a talk about the hypocrite scandal. But – tough luck – here we are, waiting for Nonoko and Anna, exchanging little sarcastic remarks with each other.

A soft slam resounded. Hotaru flickered her attention to them, silencing the aggressive pair, whilst ignoring me in the process. She was about to take a bite out of her sandwich, leaving me to wonder why she suddenly eats chicken meat when she's completely allergic to them. Have she forgotten about it? Or is she doing this on purpose?

"Hotaru, you're allergic to chicken. _Drop that_," I instructed her.

She shot a cold look towards me. "But I'm more allergic to hypocrites."

That made a part of my heart twinge. No doubt – Hotaru hates me more than ever. And I hate myself for letting this happen. "I am not a hypocrite."

"You wrote the one you call bastard letters of concern, Mikan. You're deceiving us… especially your own self."

_A pang of truth. _

"Funny." I stifled a laugh, remembering an incident. "Last time you used the word deceiving was when you told me about some two people's hearts and how time will unravel what is hidden."

"Maybe, I was" – she paused hesitantly – "…_wrong_ in telling you that. It's no use with your lack of logic. Besides, you're changing the topic here, Mikan," she replied bitterly, though she sounded like she's evading the topic I set. _What did she mean by that riddle before anyways?_

I caught a glance of Nobara and Sumire. They look like they're going to keep quiet until we finished this awkward conversation that seem to be revolving into a big fight.

I bit my lip, thinking of the right words to say but I could only come up with thoughts that would really make things worse. "Hotaru, you were the one who hacked into my e-mail, shouldn't I get some apology?" I asked, completely unaware why I had said that. _Shit. _

"Now, I'm the one who should apologize. Great," she replied as she pushed away her plate, and picked up her laptop. Her gaze fell on me. "Maybe, I need time away from you for awhile. It seems like I will turn crazy, thinking of how you would inflict permanent damage in your life. Come talk to me when you're _rationally stable_."

She flashed me a bitter expression. And I was – _damn right_ – offended. I was angry, and it's because I heard something I don't like from others.

Too hurt and prideful, I let her stand up and walk away. I let my one and only best friend walk away. Thinking about it, I knew a simple apology like last time won't do. I had to be _rationally stable _before I could. Who knows what kind that means for her?

I watched her walk away, disappearing in the throng of students. For a few seconds, I could spot her violet hair in the distance. But, soon enough, it was completely gone, leaving me to stare at a bunch of hormonal teenagers having loads of fun.

And everything was silent after that. Sumire and Nobara avoided talking about what had just happened. On the other hand, I indulged in drinking my orange juice and eating little bits of my own sandwich as I processed what had gone wrong in the situation earlier.

Then, it hit me. I was the one who's wrong. She was only worried – like always – about me. How could I turn down a friend's advice like that? I felt like the whole wide world was against me. Everything I do was off the beam – just plain wrong.

"Hey, guys! Let's have some fun today!" Nonoko cheered, snapping me out of my trance.

Surprised, I jerked my head up, and almost knocked down my smoothie. Nonoko had worn her favorite outfit – her cerulean, cashmere sweater that reached up to her hips, plain white leggings and her most-loved leather boots that her mom gave for her previous birthday. I felt sorry for her. She must have anticipated this day as much as I have.

Anna, who glanced up from her book, followed behind her. Upon seeing our wretched looks, she closed the book she was reading, and raised a brow. "Where's Hotaru? And what's wrong with your faces? You guys look like you've seen ghosts," she stated, examining each of us.

"Eh? Is she running late?" Nonoko questioned, looking around.

Nobody said a thing about the fight. I feel so stupid now. Letting my guard down, a tear trickled down my cheek and, without much waiting, I broke into a soft cry.

"I screwed up!"

* * *

"Mikan-chan, are you sure? They told me to see to it you go back to your room safely. I mean, they'll have me for dinner if anything happens to you. Even Hotaru. Her anger right now towards you will not suffice. She will drown me to death in a pool of sharks! I don't even –"

"Nonoko, I'm _not _drunk. I just cried a little," I said, stating the obvious.

I had explained to them – _while crying _– what happened as Sumire and Nobara filled in on the details I missed. Anna simply shook her head in disbelief, and told me that I need to do what is right. _What was the right thing, by the way? _Of course, Sumire and Nobara told her that I do nothing right. On the other hand, Nonoko went like '_It's not her fault. Hotaru's hot-headed right now because of Yuu, and Mikan just happened to be so concerned of Hyuuga-san.'_ Then, Sumire – my _ever-so-angelic_ friend – told her that Natsume wasn't worthy of any respect, so she instructed her to call him bastard instead.

Should I explain more?

Yes, they got into a verbal fight but no harm done. In the end, Anna went ahead to talk with Hotaru. Sumire and Nobara walked away with frying Natsume for lunch in mind. And Nonoko was left with the heavy duty of escorting the grievous me back to the dorms.

"But, Mikan-chan, what if you –"

"Nonoko, I'm going to be alright," I told her, putting both my hands on her shoulders as I made eye contact with her. "There's no danger here anyways. Don't you need to go to the bookstore? I heard that the books you ordered finally arrived."

"Uhm. Yeah." She looked hesitant. "Stay out of trouble, okay? Don't even try committing _suicide_." Her eyes bore into mine, and I gave out a laugh and squeezed her shoulders before letting go. I'm crazy, alright. However, the suicide thought never has crossed my mind. At least, I'm not_ that_ mad.

"Go. Before I even consider it," I replied, jokingly.

She smiled, getting the humor I placed. After that, she said a quick goodbye and dashed out of the hallway. Nonoko surely is one imaginative teen. _A pool of sharks? Committing suicide? _Are these the things she read in one of those romance novels she reads?

I strolled along the hallway, observing the walls and floors. During school days, these were combusting with students who were either feeling ecstatic or just bored; but, right now, it was empty. I could hear the wind slowly drifting towards the open cracks of the windows. This was perfect, _a perfect time to think._

Rationally stable – that's what I'm aiming for right now. And, by that, it must mean I need to forget about Natsume entirely. Now, that's the hard part. How could I? Perhaps to have me like another person more than I like him will. Yes, I think that's the answer. Maybe, the dare I had with Tsubasa would do me good after all. I have to win – no matter what.

Seeing Hotaru get disappointed like that made me repentant. Yeah, I suck. I don't even know why I am acting like this. Natsume is just one of the boys I was destined to fall in love with. There are still others out there – I hope.

"Mikan-chan?"

In front of me, a stunning strawberry blonde was smiling. "Misaki? Didn't you go out to Central Town?" I asked. I was sure that she was in Central Town with Tsubasa and their other classmates. I saw them when I went there.

"I got bored, and ditched them. They're not going to have me watch that petrifying, massacre movie," she said as she flashed me a curious look. "Aren't you supposed to be having fun with Imai and the other girls?"

I shrugged, forcing a smile. "Well, we got tired and decided to call it a day."

I saw a doubtful expression cross her face for a split second, certainly not buying my explanation. But she just nodded understandingly and offered me to hang out in her room. In relief that I have someone to talk to that is not cynical about my _hypocrite _scandal, I agreed without much thought.

We reached her room in less than fifteen minutes. She sat down on her bed and reached for he IPod dock's power button. Music blasted through the speakers and filled the room with loud rock songs in no time. Honestly, it was not my kind of music but it will do. I scanned her room and found lots of posters plastered on the walls. Most of them looked like bands. Her room had cherry-colored walls, and a glass desk – with a desktop, scattered books and CDs – was situated in one of the corners of the room. It was actually the first time I went here, after all the times I turned down her offer due to club meetings and such.

"So, I heard about the scandal yesterday in the cafeteria. Hotaru really loves catastrophic words," she remarked, breaking the silence.

I wanted to scowl but I kept my smile on. "I was surprised actually. I'm now an affirmed hypocrite."

"Let's not talk about that," she said. I felt relief washing over me but that was gone completely when she told me the next thing I was desperate for. "I know you wanted to ask about the dare with the gang."

I was completely shocked. I almost broke the figurine I was examining. "How did you –"

"I heard from Tsubasa. He doesn't like talking about it that much and I – hoping to annoy the hairs out of him – talk about it at all times." She shifted in her position. "He suddenly slipped and told me that you were asking about it." Her eyes landed on me and a probing look appeared on her face.

"Well, I did ask _once_." _Yesterday._

"Ohh. We got a lot to talk."

She asked me to sit down on one of the couches, and offered me gummy worms. After that, she took her place on her bed and lowered the music. "Here it goes. Ready?" She took a deep breath, and I nodded.

"That dare was a dare I wasn't even allowed to witness. I just sneaked in because they kicked me out. And, no one does that to me. Curiosity overpowered, and I was shocked. They had not_-too-strong_ alcoholic drinks on the table," – she wrinkled her nose and made a disgusted face – "and Tsubasa already have had two bottles. Only Natsume did not have any. It was actually part of the dare. The one who gets to have a dare drinks a shot. Are you taking this _lightly_?" She asked, seeing my gaping mouth.

"Uh. Yeah, I mean. They're in school grounds, right? How could they not be caught?" I asked.

She puffed her hair out of her face. "Well, Koko's father is the owner of this school, right? _Benefits_." she snorted, clearly not liking the idea of that.

I actually felt relieved that Natsume wasn't the only one who drank. "Then? What happened?"

"They talked about _girls_. I learned that Koko likes your friend with the green perm –"

"He likes Sumire?" I shouted in shock. "Since when? Why didn't I kn –"

Misaki ran over to where I was seated and cupped her hand over my mouth and hissed. "Sshh. Don't shout. This is classified Gakuen Alice elite gang information that I'm sharing." She looked around frantic that someone might have heard. But we were the only two people in the room, and, maybe, in this building.

"Ohhkayss. I geefftt ifft, Mmissafkki," I said, trying hard to project my pronunciation with her hand over my mouth. She removed it and smiled in apology.

"Sorry about the hand. I got carried away." She sat beside me and crossed her legs.

"Continuing. Ruka's a bit distracted of Imai-san because of the blackmailing thing – don't ask me I don't even know what he's implying – while Mochu thinks Anna's fascinating." She paused and an amused grin surfaced. "Don't you think they're _all _interested in your clique?"

"Yeah, it must be a coincidence," I replied although I felt strangely that it was fishy. "How about Tsubasa and Natsume?" _Was I stupid?_

A spark died down in Misaki's eyes. The amused expression turned into an infuriated glare. "I didn't hear. Kitsuneme – Koko's older brother? Know him? – dragged me out the room and scolded me about eavesdropping. Then, I heard shouting and loud thuds. When we went back in, the room was a mess. Alcohol spilled everywhere, the sofa was toppled over and Natsume was holding Tsubasa by the collar with his right hand raised, ready to punch him."

I kept quiet. I couldn't digest what she was saying. _Natsume punching Tsubasa? _It was unusual. He never had shown violent tendencies. Maybe, Hotaru was right. "You really di-didn't know what they fought about?" I asked, trying not to stammer for words.

She shook her head and replied, "They wouldn't tell me. All I know was that Tsubasa was drunk but Natsume wasn't."

* * *

I could barely process all the things Misaki told me. When I went back to my room, I practically went into a daze for a couple of minutes. I now understand Tsubasa's reason for only explaining it in one sentence. Their group was going to be in big trouble if the incident was known to public. The student council might even raise a rally, and shun the administration which composed mostly of Koko's relatives.

I could imagine the headlines as _'GAKUEN ALICE, NOT AT ALL PRESTIGIOUS'._ Surely, there would be a decline in status and number of students. I mean, alcohol is strictly prohibited in campuses, and any student who violates it would receive extreme punishment.

I heaved a sigh, and opened my computer. I signed into my mail, despondent in having any new messages. To my astonishment, there was one new mail. My heart started to accelerate. I clicked it, and it was from Natsume. Numerous questions popped into my head. I opened it, and what I read sent me into a brain freeze – more like emotional freeze.

** To: **Mikan Sakura (miiberry yahoo . com)

** From: **Natsume Hyuuga (crimsonabyss yahoo . com)

** Subject: Re: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?**

** Message:**

Stop sending me e-mails._ Leave me alone._

_Unbelievable._ I felt like I was hit by a large hammer. For all of my long e-mails, he sends me this crappy one-liner. My heart had felt emptier than before. It's like there's this new space for other people to fit in. Thanks for that wonderful taste of reality. _Really._ He helped me. Before it was broken, now it's completely sealed shut.

I am so forgetting about him.

_He's a bastard who will rot in hell. _

I closed my computer and ran to my bed, stuffing my face into a pillow. Before I even knew it, tears began to roll down my face, feeling the anger slowly subsiding. It hurts so much. He could have said it in a nice way. I mean, how could he? I was only concerned. What's so wrong about that? After all the times we've been through, it ends with this one e-mail. It's not even a phone conversation. _Insensitive bastard._

_Leave me alone? _Was that even the right thing to say to someone who cares about you? Fine. If that's what he wants, then it's what he gets.

No more anxiety. No more doubts. No more Natsume Hyuuga.

To Mikan Sakura, he's declared as _dead._

* * *

Light hit my eyelids, and I fluttered them open. I focused my eyes towards the windows which were startlingly being held by someone. My eyesight re-adjusted, and my blurry vision turned back to normal. Hotaru stood by the curtain, staring at me. Trying to forget what happened yesterday at Central Town, I flashed a goofy smile which she lovingly returned with an impassive look. _How lovely._

"Idiot, are you _somewhat_ alive?" She deadpanned although her question was really of alarm.

I went out of bed, walked towards the rack and clutched my towel in a firm grip. "Yes, I am. Why are here? Am I rationally stable to you right now?" I told her, walking towards the bathroom. It's funny how she comes running in here after we had fought yesterday. I believe she just cares too much of me for her own good. I can't blame her though. We grew up like we're twins. I would do the same if she became like me.

"Forget about that. I saw the… _mail_," she said as cautious as she could. _Ohhh. That explains it._

"Oh. That." I suppressed a giggle without turning around. "Could you believe it? _Leave me alone? _Seriously, who would not be offended?" I ranted, trying to add humor but to no avail.

There was a short silence before she spoke. "You cried."

"Oh. Of course, I did." I stopped the tears threatening to escape. "But I'm okay now. At least, he formally drew the line. I was so waiting for it to become official," I snapped bitterly.

Soft steps hit the floorboard. Subsequently, Hotaru stood beside me, scrutinizing me with utmost apprehension though it's not observed in her expression. "Yes, I know," she whispered.

"We're now officially not-in-good-terms basis," I stated, choking the words out. Hurriedly, I twisted the knob and went inside the bathroom, locking the door. I rested my weight on the sink, and looked at my face. My eyes had dark circles under and I looked so pale. I cried myself to sleep again. I don't want this turning into a repetitive habit.

"Hotaru! I'll be at class. I promise. Don't worry," I shouted, remembering she was standing outside the door. A few moments later, I heard the echo of the door shutting close. I felt thankful that Hotaru's not mad at me anymore. His e-mail had arrived in the right point in time. _Seriously, what a best friend saver._

* * *

As I walked down to class, I spotted a familiar blonde who had a pallid bunny in his hand. He waved at me, and I smiled back. After some hi's and hello's exchanges, we walked together to class. Of course, I tried to be jolly and all – but a half-way cheerful tone was all I could manage.

"Tell your friend that he's heaven sent. I would never bother him again," I abruptly said while we were talking about how appalling Narumi-sensei dresses.

Ruka's forehead creased and, finally realizing who that _friend_ was, raised a confused look. "Natsume talked to you?" He asked with a surprised expression.

"Not exactly. He e-mailed me. Fancy technology, huh?" I tried to joke but the bitterness in my tone was evident; I had no way around it. "He told me to leave him alone. He could've just said it before."

"He told you that?" He questioned once more, befuddled.

We were almost to the classroom. Students were bustling in every corner, taking their time as they went to their own classes. I saw Nobara and Nonoko standing by their classrooms, talking with some others I only knew by face. They shot me a worried glance which I sort of ignored. Hotaru must have texted the entire clique. _Typical._

"Yes? Why?" I answered, coming out of my thoughts.

"He wouldn't. I know he wouldn't. Why?" Ruka shooked his head, not believing what was happening.

"Why would'nt he? He obviously detests me."

"Mikan, I told you before he had his reasons. They're not the absurd reasons everybody's thinking about. I promised him that I won't tell you. He doesn't want you to know but he –"

"Heads up, Ruka!"

Before he could finish what he was saying, Koko and Tsubasa strangled him and knocked him down the floor. He tried to break free, wrestling them. Without Tsubasa and Koko noticing, Usagi, Ruka's rabbit, escaped and scurried down the hall. Tsubasa and Koko exchanged laughs and kept on saying that they captured the great Ruka Nogi. _Typical behavior._

Ruka, with an infuriated look, pushed them away. "Ugh! Look! Usagi-chan got away!" His eyes turned dark which I have never seen before. Tsubasa's and Koko's laughter died down.

"Sorry about that, Ruka. Seriously, we'll find it," Koko replied nervously, scratching the nape of his neck.

"You_ better _find it," Ruka said in a tone only Hotaru could set. The kind of voice that gives you the creeps and all. _Oh how they fit each other._

I glanced at both the troublemakers. They stood stiffly and looked scared out of their wits. I wanted to laugh. For the first time, it dawned on me how they felt so carefree – like how I was before. I missed it – honestly.

"Mikan, do not mind what I have said," he told me – normal voice back.

"Oh I do not mind at all." _Even though it certainly arouses curiosity, I do not mind. _

He turned around and a dark shadow fell on his charming looks. "You, _two idiots_, find Usagi-chan or suffer the consequences."

"Ye-Yes, Ru-Ruka!" Both of them replied, scared.

Ruka trudged along the hallway, out of his way to find his beloved bunny. I figured that he won't come to class at all.

"I hate it when Ruka gets angry," Koko murmured after the blonde disappeared around a corner. I saw sweat drip down his forehead. Man, he must be really terrified.

Tsubasa, finally recovering from the experience, spoke, "I know. He captures Imai-san's aura perfectly when he does." _Tsubasa? Scared? He was scared of Ruka and Hotaru?_

I tried to contain my laugh but I just couldn't help it. In no time, I broke into fits of laughter and had the two of them suddenly notice me. "Shouldn't you two be off finding Ruka's bunny? Because I know that last part about suffering consequences is more horrible," I stated, eyeing them with a gleeful glint.

"Uhh. I have to cut class?" Tsubasa flashed me a sly grin. "Koko, take care of it for me, huh? We wouldn't want to suffer that, right?" He asked – more like commanded.

I gave him a fake scowl. Koko just nodded in agreement and rushed off towards the administration's office, leaving me with Tsubasa who was totally loving the thought of cutting class legally.

"I thought Ruka was hitting on someone else rather than – uhh – someone," Tsubasa said, almost slipping an important subject.

"You're crazy. I'm going to class now. See you when I see you," I told him, walking towards the direction of my classroom.

What a start of the day, huh? I haven't felt so light since that incident. I feel like a free bird. Not that the whole avoiding thing chained me to my roots. I must have just thought of it like that. Natsume was a big part of my life. Yeah, _was._

But then again, Ruka left me hanging there. To finally know his reasons was one of my important item in my _to-know list. _

However, with the message last night, _should I even care?_

* * *

Hi guys! Thanks for waiting! I had less reviewers for the previous chapter.

But, oh well, no harm done. I hope you like this! I made it longer. Sorry if this is the _soonest_ I could post it.

I'm planning to post a one-shot as well. Please do anticipate it!

Review! :) Yes! Please!

I accept criticism and suggestions. I'm still learning. :)

**pwenie: **I hope this is _soon. _Thanks for the review!

**anim3gurl: **Awww. Thanks for the cyber cookie! Wow. I'm a wonderful writer? Awww. I'm so flattered! Thanks so much!

**Kylee-Cat: **I certainly did! And none of the puzzle is yet solved! :))) I'm so bad. But, yeah, I think some of it will be revealed in the next chapter. :)

**_2 MAY 2011_**

**_12:44 PM_**

**__****(: nineprincess :)**  



	10. Chapter 9: I Need A Date

**CHAPTER 9: I NEED A DATE**

* * *

"Seriously," Sumire began, raising a brow, "do you think it's healthy to be eating like that, Mikan?"

I inched my hamburger down and looked at it. A huge, delicious, greasy chunk of beef, cheese, tomato and lettuce squished between two oversized buns. Sure, it might contain a lot of carbs, but who cares? As long as it satisfies my large appetite, it will do perfectly.

"Of course," I replied and took a huge bite.

_Heaven._

"But you've been eating the _same_ thing for _three _days!"

"So?"

I took a slurp from my oversized can of Coke. I surveyed around the table. As usual, Nonoko and Anna had their foreheads creased in worry whereas Nobara and Hotaru were apathetic to the situation, although a vein threatened to reveal itself on each of their temples, as they ate their food in silence.

"Are you nuts? You might get heart burn or something _worst_!" Sumire practically screamed.

I rubbed my right ear, thinking how my eardrums could have survived all the years I've been friends with her, due to the intensity of her volume. I mockingly snorted. She was over-reacting… _again. _

"Quit shouting, Sumire," Nobara, finally snapping, hissed as she took a large bite out of her Mexican burrito. "Leave Mikan in peace. At least she's _not_ whining about you-know-who."

Now, it was my turn to have a vein pop out of my head. They had dropped the 'bastard' just two days ago. Instead, they call him like he's _Lord Voldemort_ popped out alive from the book series.

I scowled, consumed a large portion of my burger and mumbled indistinctly, munching on the delightful food, "Yeah, thanks for reminding me."

Ignoring my wonderful comment, Sumire, crossing her arms above her chest and penetrating her gaze on me, retorted, "But whoever said I'll let her turn obese? I mean, look at her! She's grown about five pounds! _Effin' five pounds_! You have to eat grass for a week just to remove that!"

Nonoko pointed out. "Unless you exercise."

_Did I really gain that much weight in three days? _

To be honest, I felt conscious for once. What will happen if I really do turn into an overweight, slouchy, stupid junior student who spends her days sulking in the darkest corner of her room?

"Don't say it like that, Sumire-chan," Anna said, shifting her gaze from me to my sweetest, calling-me-fat friend. "Mikan-chan is just…" She bit her bottom lip and nudged Nonoko for some appropriate term.

"Depressed?" Nonoko, perhaps in haste, replied – or questioned.

"…"

_Uhm. I'm right here, guys. Thanks for totally disregarding my presence._ I wanted to say that to them, but I figured that they will just continue their conversation without even sparing a chance for me to explain. So what's the use of speaking up for myself?

Thinking about it, this scene's quite familiar. Wasn't I also eating hamburger before I snapped and became all emo, punching the ground? Whatever, I guess. I don't want to be reminded of that.

"Exactly."

Sumire clicked her tongue, observing me under her gaze. I, successfully ignoring them, continued devouring my beloved burger. I could feel their profound stares on me and a bead of sweat forms on my face, trickling ever so slowly as if it's planned to.

"Don't just look at her like an extraterrestrial object. _Speak_." Hotaru's voice: stoic but there was a hint of impatience present. Turning my head to look at her, she has already finished eating her crab brain sandwich – I don't even know why they suddenly serve that kind of food this week.

"That's it!" Sumire lifted her finger up in the air. I imagined that if I was in a cartoon or something then there'll be a light bulb, twinkling, placed above her head.

When Sumire did not continue what she was supposed to say, Nobara, due to irritation, raised her eyebrow and asked, "What's _'it'_? And cut it out with the brilliant idea image. That's so overused."

Before I could even finish the last bite from my food, Sumire, put her hands on my shoulders which had me facing her as held the burger close to my face. She had that weird, suspicious grin playing on her lips.

Trying to acquire clues on what's going on with her, I looked at each of my other friends. They all had the same befuddled look except for Hotaru who was leisurely drumming her fingers on the table, untroubled.

"You just need a date! Yes! A date with a guy! _A normal guy_!"

To say that I was surprised was an understatement; Sumire had dropped a bomb that killed all the remaining, well-functioning brain cells inside my head.

"_What?_" I said, letting go of my food to gawk at her. "You're _definitely _mad."

"…"

"…"

"No. She's right."

My jaw probably fell to the floor. I fixed my gaze on my violet-head best friend who just agreed to Sumire's absurd proposal. "She's nowhere near _right, _Hotaru! Nowhere." I argued back, letting my eyes travel to my other friends who where keeping their mouths shut.

Nobara crumpled her burrito's wrapper as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. She flickered her eyes towards me and said, "Mikan, as much as I hate to say that Sumire – _for once_ – gave an awesome suggestion, she did."

_Kill me now – now! _

"You know, I don't really care. As long as Mikan-chan's happy, I'm –"

"Anna, don't talk reasons," Nonoko cut through. "To forget a guy is not easily done by the help of food." She puffed her cheeks and poked it as if hinting that I'll just get fat when I do rely on it.

"A new, fantastic guy is all she needs and you-know-who will be like dust – simply swept away by the wind," Nobara mused as she shared an all-knowing look with Nonoko.

_Since when did they start to get along so well? Isn't Nonoko supposed to side with me? Why is she siding with the evil trio? _

"I don't need a _new, fantastic_ guy," I reasoned, sarcasm placed on certain words, with my eyebrows knitting together. "I just need food."

"Yeah, and gain weight, be more depressed, and have a heart attack later on."

Sumire had that smug look on her face. She actually got the support of Hotaru, Nobara and Nonoko. I could imagine that green swirl growing at the back of her mind. They changed that much in three effin' days. I mean, they used to talk seriously when it comes to you-know-who, but, now, it seems like it was the joke of yesterday.

"It's much better to go through torment with the whips, slashing and lashing."

"C'mon. Think of it as a gift from me." She winked and I had the urge to strangle her.

"I decline."

"I have lots of contacts! Just gimme a list of things you look for in a guy."

I heard a mocking laugh escape from Nobara's lips. "I can give you that. Find someone who emits a morose aura and walks the hall like he came straight from hell."

"A mix of a bastard and a jerk too. Make sure to take note of that, Sumire," Hotaru said with a sinister glint in her eyes.

_One more and I'll march down that exit like I never knew them._

"Sumire," Anna began, finishing up her Chinese noodles, "don't take them seriously. Find a guy who's the complete opposite of Natsume-kun, eh?" she glanced at me and smiled apologetically.

A cunning smirk played on her lips. "Of course! Why would I want to set him up with another _bastard_?" Talk about dropping the bastard name-call.

She turned sideways. Her eyes had that wicked, devious glimmer and I knew she was up to no good. "Right, _Mikan_?"

Whoever she had in mind would surely be my worst nightmare.

I had to get out of that suffocating, what-Mikan-needs-is-a-date conversation.

I walked down the hallways, adjusting my skirt as my shoes clattered against the pavement. The strokes of sunlight descended from the windows; it fell on the stone-bricked floor as if it had intended to. The hall was decorated with old, stuffy lockers; a few students scattered in the vicinity, wanting to be alone, reflecting on things. Everything looked like a beautiful painting with elaborate details, carefully smeared, mixed and brushed.

I stopped to sit in one of the ledges as I trained my eyes outside. It was my time to think, to process things. Since I received that one, cruel e-mail from Natsume, I have constantly told myself that that was the final blow, no more. But what irks me most is Ruka's enigmatic reason – which he won't tell me even if I had threatened to serve Usagi-chan for today's dinner menu.

"Well, well, if it isn't, Sakura the hypocrite." _Seriously, lame much?_

"What do you want, Koizumi?" I hissed as she flaunted her blonde locks, flipping it towards her back as she crossed her arms over her chests.

Her minions – stupid people like her – were situated at each of her side. They looked like a group who formed the Bermuda Triangle.

"Nothing," she replied, twirling a strand of my hair. I slapped her hand away, glaring at her intensely. She had the nerve to lay a hand on my hair – my freakin' hair.

"Hmp. I have better hair than you. Precious gold defeats murky brown after all."

A complete question mark appeared on my face. Since when did she start to care about how her crimped hair compared to mine? Where is she going with this?

"Yours is blonde, Koizumi. Not gold," I snapped back.

"Whatever. Yours is still stinkin' brown."

I raised a brow, swinging my legs down the floor and standing up to face her. She stood an inch shorter than me – and I felt so tall for once. "So what about it?" I asked.

"Gold –"

"_Blonde_."

"– braids perfectly with Raven."

Uh. What? How did it come to this conclusion?

"And, your point?" I knew what she meant, but it's fun irritating her. Her riddles are amusing to mess with, although she's really good at making them – her words were always wonderfully chosen.

She scowled, and her lip twitched. My attention fell on the two people beside her. They looked like the guards at Buckingham Palace – stoic and reserved. Although I doubt their girly, exasperating giggles fit within that metaphor, and the mere fact that they're following a snobbish, stubborn, pathetic blonde such as Koizumi.

"Natsume-sama hates – wait, let me rephrase – despises you," she said in a victorious tone. "I don't know what you did for him to do so. But, yes, he dislikes you with much rancor."

I wanted to punch her and beat her to a pulp. She's annoying – absurdly annoying. She's like a fire that I can't seem to extinguish with just a bucket of water; her verbose tongue flicking along her teeth with hidden, stupendous commentaries. And, still, I hate her. She's a damn bitch.

"I know."

I brushed pass her, clenching my fist in the size of a mango. I could imagine that winning, sinister grin plastered across her lips like it was stamped there with a horse shoe.

"Sakura, he just toyed with you as a best friend."

_What am I – a piece of stress ball? _

I wanted to turn back and lift my middle finger up her face and tell her to fuck off, but I might do something more than that if ever I do (for example, I might punch her in the stomach or scratch her in the face).

So, I went around the corner, and lost them in terms of hearing range (I never looked back – that could tell how much I hate her, how much her face alone ruins my day). The once-beautiful painting shattered and was replaced by a badly sculpted, baked, Luna Koizumi.

I could put all my rage on her. Yes, that way I'll forget about the bastard.

I continued to walk, trying to admire the beauty of the tranquility – meaning no monstrous faces – present in the area. On the far end of the hallway, Misaki stood beside the archway to the gardens, her back facing me. I wondered why she was there. Maybe, she's waiting for someone, and who could that someone be?

Her boyfriend? _Wait. _Rewind.

Misaki and boyfriend are two words that are far apart. I mean, she's like one of the boys, and she's real sweet too. But, she isn't the type who looked like she'd be cuddling on a sofa, watching chick flicks, kissing under the moon and holding hands in the hall with a guy – _a guy_.

A guy came running towards her. I couldn't see clearly but I could tell he was much older than me. Then, I halted in my steps as the image laid in front of me had me in a state of coma. I felt my brain stop functioning; my vision playing tricks on me.

Misaki… _kissed a guy_… on the cheek. She… _hugged him_… too.

And, then, they went out towards the gardens – hand-in-hand.

Imagine my horrified reaction.

* * *

Classes had ended.

So, we hung out inside Hotaru's big, big dorm room.

I envied her lilac canopy bed with deep color of amethyst gems as its spreadsheet. On the other side of the room, her ample, elongated worktable, with lots of blueprints dispersed, was placed. Usually, Hotaru would be sitting there, tinkering with her inventions and talking about scientific calculations, ignoring our precious company. Today, she sat on her bed, typing on her laptop as she joined in our conversation every now and then – which strangely is out of her character, however.

"Does Misaki have a boyfriend?" I asked, all of a sudden.

Their chattered died down. Nonoko dropped her pen on the floor; Anna gaped, peering from her book, at me; Nobara knitted her eyebrows together; Sumire stopped circling her phone in her hand. The only one who remained indifferent was Hotaru – as always.

"Misaki? Boyfriend? _WOAH. _What?" Nonoko began, practically thinking I was insane.

I simply nodded.

"Kaname Sono. 17 years old. Year 3, Class A," Hotaru said as if reading from a paper.

"Sono-senpai?" Nobara's eyes grew large. "You mean, he's dating Misaki?"

"What? Another hottie lost," Sumire said, crossing out a name from her list. She actually made a list of people she could set me up with. I know – the horror of it.

"I could not imagine, Harada-san – kissing around campus, being all lovey-dovey," Anna commented; her book now turned upside down on the floor. I could totally relate to her.

On the other hand, Nonoko had a frown on her face, and she sighed. "Mou. I have a crush on Kaname-senpai and, now, he's taken. Great." _WHAT? My lovely friend likes whoever this guy was?_

"You _what_?" Anna narrowed her eyes on the blue-haired girl.

Nonoko rested her chin on her right palm, elbows propped on the side table; her legs dangled on the edge of the bed. "You can't blame me. He is sort of cute."

"Agreed," Sumire said, raising her right hand – with her bedazzled phone gripped.

"He's good-looking. _Period._"

Shock was probably present in my whole visage. Nobara, although her face contained no hidden infatuation, just said Kaname Sono – someone whom I don't even know – is freaking handsome. And, do you know how many times Nobara labeled someone as that?

One.

"Anna and Mikan, if you're that curious about Kaname Sono, why don't you just snap out of your trances and move closer here so I could shove all the information about him in your faces?" Hotaru said in her monotonous tone.

In haste, I scrambled to my feet (completely ignoring her comment), climbed on her bed, and pushed my way to peek from her laptop. A charming blonde, dressed in uniform with two buttons on top undone, came upon view. His eyes sparkled, mesmerizing; his lips tugged at one corner, showing a half yet to-die-for smile. His jaw was more prominent than the guys in our year, but he still managed to pull off that soft yet striking appearance. He was a masterpiece like a sculpture made to be the best of the best. Like a Greek statue. Like… _Natsume Hyuuga._

I shook that thought away; remembering him will just bring back all the unnecessary drama in my life.

Below the picture were several details about him.

** Name:** Kaname Sono

**Age:** 17

**Year/Class: **Year 3, Class A

**Status:** In a relationship with Misaki Harada (established last night after dinner)

**Popularity Scale:** 9.6 (10 being the highest; 1 being the lowest)

**Hobbies:** reading books, horseback riding, writing poetry, organizing campaigns

**Organizations/Clubs:** Student Council, Equestrian Club

**Circle of Friends:** Shuichi Sakurano, Akira Tonouchi

"Ohmygod! My dream guy!" She, Anna, screamed as her voice softened into an almost-curse 'Fuuu-dge'. "Lucky, Harada-san. He looks just like my version of Peeta Mellark!"

_Yeah. Misaki's really lucky._

Sumire continued to text on her phone as she scowled at Anna's comment. "And who the hell is that?" she asked. I made myself comfortable beside Hotaru who must be having the urge to push me and Anna out of her bed.

"The male protagonist from Hunger Games."

"The one that will be played by Liam Hemsworth?" She asked, removing her gaze from her phone, and looked at Anna with a dreamy look.

"No, by Josh Kutcherson."

She, uninterested, waved her hand and resumed fumbling her keys. "Hemsworth is much, much yummier."

"Shut up, Sumire," Hotaru told her, silencing her in an instant. "You don't talk about people like how Crab Brains are described."

Not one of us said a word. We could never disagree with that statement – verbally. If ever we did address our opposition to the statement of Crab Brains being yummy, then our throats will be stuffed with the said food for a year.

"Yeah, crab brains," Anna replied nervously, scratching her head and returning to read her book.

"…"

"…"

Nonoko broke the silence when she asked if anyone of us had tried eating a cockroach. Of course, Nobara erupted into fits, and she lectured how cockroaches are the forces of nature that must be annihilated – completely. On the other hand, I argued that they're still needed in order for our world to function as it is. Sumire retorted, saying that icky, disgusting creatures are at the bottom of the most-liked creatures list, and that life is the survival of the most attractive. Then, Hotaru corrected her. She told her that there was no rule as such. There was only the survival of the fittest based on some scientist named Charles – or was it Charlie?

The conversation spanned to a length of thirty minutes before it was broken by Sumire's ear-piercing shriek. The last thing being mentioned was how termites brought down houses. Don't ask me how the discussion journeyed off to termites and the horrible things they do.

"Mikan!"

All eyes turned to the girl with the green perm; questions appearing on our once-blank faces.

She held her phone, staring at the screen in extreme excitement. Slowly, her eyes met mine, and, like electricity traveling copper wires, her dreadful message, intention, was sent.

I gulped, hoping what I thought was wrong.

"I successfully set you up on a date… with Akira Tonouchi!"

And the bomb had been dropped once more.

* * *

"Don't tell me… you're on patrol duty again?"

Tsubasa flashed me a smirk as he patted the space next to him. I sat down and wrapped my arms around my knees casually. I still don't believe him getting an A + in Narumi's class. Yes, I highly doubt that he's smarter than me - which would have the probability of 75% (as Hotaru had put it).

"Yes. What about you? Aren't you supposed to be in your room?" he asked, raising a brow.

I snorted because he just acted like a parent who had caught his daughter sneaking in the kitchen for some unhealthy midnight snack. "A patrol guard slacking. Are you sure you're not doing this for community service? Ha-ha. I was about to but a little stargazing would be lovely, especially if you've come straight from a repulsive banter."

"Yes, I am quite sure. So, what's this 'repulsive banter' about?" he questioned, looking up at the sky. The moon's soft light made his skin look like porcelain and his eyes glittered like that of a star. For once, I found Tsubasa Andou – _sort of_ – handsome. Yes, handsome is a strong word, and I refrain myself from using it on a regular basis.

"W-Well." I cleared my throat, clearing my mind of that image. "Sumire had set me up on a date with someone named Akira Tonouchi."

Akira Tonouchi must be familiar because he tensed, and his previous smirk vanished. "The one long-haired dude?" he asked, now looking at me with his shiny blue eyes which I stared at, and – really – I thought I would drown in them if I hadn't looked away.

"Wait. He has long hair?" I probably gawked at him. "You mean he's a possibly gay?" And you could tell the joy I was hiding. If he was gay, then I would totally be stomping on Sumire's pride for months – and, hopefully, forever!

"Yes, he has long hair, and, no, he's not gay. And I am very sure of that." He narrowed his eyes on me. "Hasn't Imai shown you a picture of him yet?"

I remember Hotaru telling me that I should learn some skills like searching the Gakuen Alice student profiles which was managed and updated mostly by her. I shook my head, disappointed that this Akira Tonouchi wasn't gay, but I wanted to have hope that he is. "Doesn't he have a tendency to become gay? With that long hair and stuff? Isn't tha –"

"No, Mikan," he began, sighing as he hit his forehead. "To tell you the truth, Tonouchi-senpai changes girls like how he changes his gym bag."

At the mention of gym bag, I could only think of one question. "He's a varsity?"

"Yes, chess varsity," he said, more like deadpanned.

"We have a varsity in chess?" Oh God. I sound so stupid.

His eyebrows knitted together. "Yessss," he replied then continued, "shouldn't you be asking how many times he changes his gym bag first?"

"What does he put in his bag if he plays –"

"Every three days. Some for a week, but that's the longest they lasted," he cut in, ignoring my very sensible question.

I processed what he had said, and I came to this conclusion. "So you're saying that I'd be his entertainment for three days?" I asked carefully. It was a win-win situation actually. I don't mind if he doesn't take me seriously or anything because I, for one, would surely not be bothered about him.

"You like that idea?" He asked; disbelief present in his tone. "He WOULD harass you. He's quite a pervert if you ask me."

And that just triggered my disgust. The clear-cut overtone that he implied certainly served its purpose. "I will murder Sumire," I murmured. Stretching my legs and holding my weight with my two arms, my gaze fixed on a pattern of stars that was shaped into a person that looked bulky and muscular at the same time.

"What is that?" I asked, pointing at the unusual pattern.

"Hercules. I'm surprised we can see it clearly," he said. "It's best seen around the month of July."

Even in stars, I had to be reminded of Greeks. And that word is commonly associated with my ex-best friend whom I wanted – needed – to forget about. Reasons are as follows: he's a cold bastard; he's an insensitive prick; he's a no-good best friend.

* * *

The next day.

I sneaked quietly into the library to access the computer. Mine broke down due to an unknown virus, leaving with no choice. I logged into my account, and typed in my student ID number. Then, after a few seconds, the Gakuen Alice's exclusive browser popped out.

Since it was school property, it would contain information on students.

You see, in this school, everything's by the school. There's even an electronic mail just for its students, and we avoid using that since the administration filters the mails sent – meaning they read it or something. The same goes for the Gakuen Alice Chat Service. The last thing we students want is to have a teacher blackmail you for a love-confession mail you sent.

Well, it had happened before; why on earth won't history repeat itself?

"Shit," I cursed quite louder than I had intended to.

A boy with shoulder-length hair stared back at me; a sly smile tugged at his lips. I felt a chill run down my spine as if a ghost had clawed into my body. His image spelled: trouble, and the mere thought of the words 'WOULD HARASS' made me want to pull out a knife and behead Sumire.

"Mikan?"

I, instantly, stood up and turned around, trying my best to cover the computer screen. Ruka was in front of me, his brow raised. I forced him a squeaky smile and prayed that he didn't see what I just had searched.

"Oh! Ruka! Yes? What are you doing here?" I asked nervously.

He removed his hand from his chin and gave me a small smile. "Researching for the chemistry homework." Which wasn't due yet. "May I ask? Why is Akira's face plastered all over your screen?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhm." I bit my bottom lip. Should I or not tell him? "You know Tonouchi-san?" I know, why am I so stupid sometimes?

"Pretty much. Quite well actually," he said, pulling out a chair. He sat down and I did the same, seeing that hiding the screen was futile since he had seen it already.

I logged out, and turned back to him. "How?"

"Long story," he said; his attention on his computer. "I don't really know if you would like it."

He tapped on the keys like how Hotaru did whenever she doesn't want to be disturbed. I might have been used to it already because I stood up, pushed back my chair and bid him goodbye.

And he said, "See you later, Mikan." He paused. "And stay away from Akira. He is not the best guy – definitely nowhere near moderate – to hang around with."

Really? The second warning one of Natsume's friends had given me.

After getting my books from my old, murky locker, I strode into the hall, clambering my way to the classroom before the bell sounds. There were lots of students down the hall. Some were slacking while the others were much like me.

"Mikaaaan!" An annoying, ear-piercing voice rang through my ears.

I walked more briskly, but a hand landed on my shoulder, pulling me back with force. She twirled me around and her green eyes twinkled. "Tonouchi-senpai's come to see you," she whispered excitedly.

That ever-familiar chill surged through me like ice freezing all over me. I knew this was a bad idea – from the very start. Sumire dragged me further down the hall. We passed by my classroom where I saw Anna about to walk out and, upon seeing us, her forehead creased. Muttering a few apologies as we hit some persons, making them lunged straight the floor – their books hitting the floor like rain on a Sunday, she stopped walking as a guy leaning on the ledge of the window in front of Year 3 Class A's classroom – according to the signboard above the door.

He was stunning, just like the guy I had seen in the picture. He was trouble – big trouble. Sumire gave him a smile. I was about to turn back and walk away, but she kept her hold on my arm.

"Tonouchi-senpai, this is Mikan Sakura," she said, nudging me on the ribs with her elbow. I muttered a soft 'ouch'. My whole body tensed, and the bewares from Ruka and Tsubasa reverberated in my mind.

Slowly, he smiled and darted his gaze on me. "Lovely as they had described," he said, and then reached for my hand. I was surprised – yes, but I was utterly shocked when he kissed it just like how they did in those Victorian era movies.

His eyes met mine.

My cheeks were probably flushing madly. No one had ever done such an act. Surely, this was not the harassing Tsubasa had indicated. There must be more to that. This must be the first impression act.

"I've heard a lot about you, Mikan-chan."

Wow. We're that close now? And what could have he heard? It's not like I'm famous or anything.

As if answering my question, he added, "You're quite popular, aren't you?"

It was my time to show my evident confusion. Me and popular aren't exactly good to go together. Stupid and Mikan Sakura would be perfect – Hotaru would say. At times like this, I just had to agree.

"Mikan," Sumire said through her teeth, faking a smile at me. "Talk to him."

"Uhm." I gulped, and then I felt a flow of courage shot through me.

"Tonouchi-senpai, I believe you're being too friendly calling me Mikan-chan, and I am not popular. You may call it humble – whatever, but I am truly not. And whatever bogus thing you may have heard from others, I don't care." I took in a breath. "I'm warning you. I'm doing this date thing because Sumire forced me to, and, if you dare lay a hand on me without me approving of it, you're going to hell."

I couldn't believe that I just said that.

Me, the crying, pathetic best friend who's been forsaken by Natsume Hyuuga, just said that to someone as high social status as Akira Tonouchi.

_Please, hate me. Hate me. Hate_ me, I thought.

"Spunky. Not like what I've heard. But I like it," he said, going down from his perch on the ledge. His eyes glanced over me and that sly smile appeared on his face. "Can't wait for this Saturday's date."

He's not human because he walked into his classroom like he's floating; his gay-like hair softly swayed in the wind.

Sumire practically had hearts in her eyes. "Omgee. One of the hottest things alive," she said.

"Hot? More like gay. Did you see the wind effect on his hair? It's like a live shampoo commercial," I replied, walking away from her.

She ran after me and told me that I should be thankful that she got me a date with someone like Tonouchi-senpai. I would not even have the chance to date someone like Mochu on my own – she says.

Then, the bell rang, and I was late.

I want to strangle someone now.

* * *

Wow. After 24 days, I updated. I finally finished this chappie! I'm so happy *dances*.

I'm now writing the 10th one and I will update by Saturday? I think.

It will contain the much awaited Akira and Mikan date, and also why Ruka knows him.

Can you guys guess? ;)

Please do review! I love reviews! I update faster if I have lots of them.

Yes, I live by them. =))

NOT YET PROOFREAD. :) I'll be reading this within this week and hopefully correct the errors.

**Cometflare : **Aww. Thanks so much! *hugs you and hands you tissue*

**Summer Euphoria: **Yes, he has his reasons which would be slowly told within the next chapters. :D It's okay. I understand the laziness when it comes to reviewing. I also owe the stories I read some reviews. ;) Hope you like this one!

**Pwenie: **Sureee, dear. ;)

**Misa-chan46: **I'm very flattered. Thanks! :D

**Kylee-Cat: **Me too! 3 Wow. I never had the guts to tell the ones I've had a crush on that I like them. For me, it's quite scary, not knowing whether they feel the same or the opposite. He left you just like that? It's like I'm doing this story out of your experience. :-bd Yeah, I've heard those dying and cutting of hair after things like that. :) Yes! A new guy in her life! =)) And thanks so much for always reviewing! *hugs*

**Polkadots24: **Dear Miki/Mara, you commented! I so love you now! :D :* YES! I'M TOTALLY DIGGING THAT OVERUSED SENTENCE. =))

**_25 MAY 2011_**

**_2:10 AM_**

**__****(: nineprincess :)**


	11. Chapter 10: It Was Almost Perfect

**CHAPTER 10: It Was Almost Perfect**

* * *

Don't ask me if I was late.

The bell had already rung… twice.

And trust me, you would be asking for the worst when you come late to Jinno's class.

Obviously, he did the usual: narrow his evil and sinister eyes on me, scrunch up his nose in irritation, told me sternly to sit down and announced my nightmare – a detention later in the afternoon.

I don't know why, but the word detention has been frequently heard in my daily life since Natsume Hyuuga disappeared to nowhere like water vapor.

So, classes proceeded smoothly except for the inevitable dark atmosphere in the room whenever Hotaru looks at me like I'm in serious trouble. Other than that, it was completely normal. And, before I even knew it, it was lunchtime.

I packed my things, slung my bag over my shoulder and walked to where Hotaru and Anna were standing. It would be a great time to be sick; so I won't have to be present in that arranged date with that gay dude. We exited the room in silence – almost because Anna kept on mumbling about how she has to attend the Science Fair in Tokyo next week even when she is completely against it.

She said, her shoulders lowering, "What choice do I have though? It's good that Misaki-sensei is bestowed with hotness or else I wouldn't do any of these." And there goes absurdity.

Sure, Misaki-sensei is a bit good-looking, but he is a total geek.

"Do you hate Tonouchi?" Hotaru asked suddenly, making me choke on my own saliva. Now, thinking about that, it was disgusting.

"You know… hate isn't even the word to describe it," I replied scathingly.

"Figures. It's that intense, huh?" she simply said; an amused glint in her eyes.

Anna, on the other hand, gawked at the two of us as she stopped her mumblings. "What are you guys talking about? Tonouchi… the person Sumire had set you up?" she said, bewildered.

I nodded, feeling like I'm being punished for my sins.

"Why? He looks like a fine gentleman."

"The only part you got right was gentle," I said, almost a whisper, as I looked down at my unpolished shoes.

Anna's eyebrows met at her forehead, and I wanted to take all of my hair out of my head.

"I… don't get it. Really," she replied, and I was dumbfounded.

"Mikan means to say that Tonouchi is gay," Hotaru cleared.

Anna simply muttered an inaudible word before keeping silent.

We arrived in the canteen after a few minutes of walking. As usual, it was bustling with students. Most were keeping their flytraps in animated motion. The three of us went to fall in line. I ordered my chicken cutlets, topped with delicious gravy, and a side dish of mash potato. On the other hand, Hotaru asked for crab brains. The cafeteria lady smiled and gave her a plate of for-Imai-only crab brains. Well, she threatened the principal a few years ago. I don't know what she said to him, but the very next day the canteen served her the said dish.

We walked down the pack of hungry high school students, fighting our way to our respective table. Anna almost slipped on the banana skin, which might've caused her Caesar salad to dance in the air, landing in a pirouette of salad dressing, and that would be humiliating.

We were only a few meters from our place when a hand pulled me by the shoulders. When I looked up to see who it was, Akira Tonouchi's face appeared in my view. He had this sparkly smile; his long, straight, flowing hair dangled on his shoulders.

"Ah, Mikan-chan, nice to see you here."

"Well, who do we have here?" A guy, standing beside him, asked as he looked at me with evil, inquiring eyes. "So, you're Sakura-chan. Nice to meet you. Call me, Shuichi-senpai," he said, offering me a hand.

As impolite as it may seem, I rejected his friendly handshake. Even though he may be seen as someone with manners, he still hangs out with a gay like Tonouchi. So, I'm having my doubts if he's for real. I just nodded at him and, soon, pinned down Tonouchi with my dark gaze.

"If you may excuse me, I would have to eat my lunch before I die." I pointed at his hand on my shoulder and sent him a much deadlier stare. I was expecting for a surprised, hurt look; however, the opposite happened. He smirked and said, "What did I tell you? She's different."

And I just wished that a sudden lightning zaps him right then and there.

* * *

There was only one thing on my mind the whole week: couldn't that gay do any other thing besides getting on my nerves?

Seriously.

He hacked the PA system and announced that we're going on a date. Plus, it was aired during chemistry, which immediately spells J-I-N-N-O. I was not sent to detention; however, I had to suffer solving one of the hardest problems in stoichiometry on the board. Luckily, I've had the chance to encounter the exact problem during one of my tutor sessions with my beloved Hotaru. You couldn't imagine the look on Jinno's face when I finished solving it in less than five minutes.

I felt like a newborn genius.

After class, I thought everything was fine. People don't know me anyways. That was where I was wrong. The moment I stepped outside class every person who walked pass me either whispered or glared at me, and that certainly depends on their gender.

"Hotaru, why do I feel like people are eyeing me as prey?"

"Because you are," she nonchalantly said as her amethyst orbs pinned me down.

"Why?" I asked as a lump slowly formed in my throat.

"Simple. Girls hate you and guys suddenly found you interesting."

"What did I ever do to them?"

"Do you even need to ask?" She said as she flicked her tongue over her teeth. "According to the Gakuen Alice news, you are now at the top of two lists: most hated and most interesting student in our school."

I rolled my eyes, thinking of the circumstances at hand. "Shoot me now," I murmured, thinking of how many more girls alike with Koizumi will be harassing me.

"It's not only Koizumi kind of girls you'll be dealing with," she said as if reading my mind. "There's a lot of Tonouichi kind of guys to scare away."

"Please." I laughed and put a hand on her shoulder. "There aren't any other long-haired _gays _around here."

She stopped in her tracks and gave me a long, deadly stare. "I did not mean long-hair dudes. Guys who think you're hot and all since Akira Tonouichi is well-known to be a boy who goes after hot chicks."

My nightmare is just about to start.

* * *

"Today's the day! Mikan will – "

"– face the inevitable date with a gay dude," I continued as I stepped out of the bathroom, clothed in what I can only fathom as a dress that Sumire would only wear.

"Oh c'mon, Tonouchi-senpai hasn't dated for like a week for you, my dear. It's quite unbelievable if you ask –"

She stopped midway as her stare fell on me.

Yes, I admit; I do look horrible.

"You look…" She took a huge breath and walked over to me, placing both of her hands on my shoulder. And, in a matter of seconds, she's shaking me so hard that I felt like my head would come off.

"You're _soooooo_ fit that dress! I knew that Jessica Simpson dress is perfect!" She screamed in my ear without even stopping the shaking thing that seems to make me dizzy.

"Dresses have names?" For me, it's only a dress that exposes one of my shoulders, and I don't like it.

"It's like it was made for you and you only! I can imagine it!" She lets go of my shoulder and stares off in the horizon with both her hands in the air as if she's picturing a moment in her mind. "Tonouchi-senpai sitting on that fancy dining table as a violinist plays soothing tunes to ease away the nervousness he has inside of him before he finally meets you – the girl of his dreams." I practically rolled my eyes as I struggled with the gem-studded five-inch heels she had brought for me to wear.

So, how did I end up with Sumire alone anyways?

Well, it's a long story and it's quite a tedious work to narrate it. So, I'll just put it in a few words – none of my other friends were available to accompany me with this. Sumire just happened to be so pushy these past few days. I know she wants me to move on and get a life, but dating a guy I find utterly gay isn't going to make me _move on _and _get a life_, so to speak.

"… then after a few minutes, you stand in the entrance, looking as beautiful as you can be. He is caught off guard; his eyes instantly glued to you, unflinching. You take slow steps, mesmerizing him even more than he already is. His once lonely heart fills with warmth and, yes, love! He offers you a hand –"

I heaved a sigh. Any minute now and I'm going to chuck these impossible-to-walk-in shoes if she does not stop her disgusting narration of how my date with that gay will go. Before I even think of doing that, I bellowed, "Are you finished with your fantasizing? Can you now teach me how to walk in these lethal weapons?"

"Almost, but I can narrate it later. Now, we must prepare you for your date!" She announced, turning to look at me with glittering eyes.

I raised a brow, scared of what she meant by preparation. "I just need to learn how to walk in these heels, right? Then, we can go."

"Oh no. We still have to do some… major revisions."

This made me think that these shoes are just the first of the many horrors she's going to be forcing on me, and the word "revisions" made me feel like I'm a lousy, dull story draft, waiting to be edited and polished to perfection.

* * *

As I stepped into the restaurant, all eyes trained on me. I had the urge to run away and ditch that gay; however, with Sumire guarding me like a trained, bomb-sniffer dog outside the restaurant that thought seemed impossible to execute.

I knew with all that make-up Sumire put on my face made me look like a clown. Well, I'm only kidding though. The moment she was finished – actually – I did not recognize myself; for the first time, I was beautiful, really beautiful.

Heat made its way to my cheeks, as I tried not to trip that is very much likely to happen as I am wearing these heels I'm very not used to yet. Strangers' eyes met mine with much inquisitiveness as inaudible whispers started to rise inside the area. I felt the tension inside the room as the air became to thick to even inhale. Any minute now, I might lose my composure and stumble down this staircase.

I was ready for the humiliation when I felt a hand hold me on the waist to steady me, and I met his eyes. They were lilac – just like Hotaru's; however, it's strange that there are tiny specks of red in them if you stare hard enough (which I did).

It was like time was forced to a stop. Whatever whispers or stares around me seemed to diminish as I continue to stare at him. It felt weird to be experiencing this especially with this gay dude I absolutely despise.

"You should be careful," he said, flashing me a bright smile that made my heart skip a beat which also made me snap out of my ephemeral reverie, and I thank him for that or else I might go insane if that heart-stopping moment would proceed any further.

I, after a moment of astonishment, yanked myself away from him and muttered, "Don't you dare touch me, Tonouchi."

"Mikan-chan, not even a sweet greeting to someone who just saved you from all that embarrassment?" He asked, pretending to frown. And an irritating grin replaced it as he said, "Come, our table's this way."

I scowled at him as I followed him to the direction of a vacant hall with a single door at the end. I scuffled to keep up with his pace; I absolutely detest these heels now more than I ever did.

"Where the fuck are we going, Tonouchi?"

"You just see for yourself."

We reached the door, and he opened it for me. I went in, glaring at him in the process. What met my sight was the most beautiful place one could place in a restaurant. The room was made of glass, looking out into a garden that is filled with shimmering lights. Greek columns stand in every corner of the room with a little cupid statue placed on top of it. In the middle, there is a fancy dining table surrounded by petals; candles stand in the center as music filled the room through an unseen source.

It was simply breathtaking.

I walked over to the table and softly touched the petals on the table. "What is this place?" I blurted, forgetting my hatred towards him completely.

"Paradise," he replied as he pulled out a chair for me.

I hesitantly said a thank-you, and then, he produced a low chortle. If only this place wasn't so magnificent, I can probably say all the displeasing words I can ever think of.

There was a moment of silence. The more I scan the room, the more it becomes close to what he called it: paradise. I do not know why but this place gives me the feeling that I cannot simply fathom; it is like there's an unseen dejection underneath all that splendor.

"But, really, why do they have this place here?"

"Wow. You can talk normally? I mean, you always growl at me," he said and then continued without me even having the chance to retort another snarl, "Well, the owner patterned this place to his former lover's sketch back when they were still together."

"Oh…" Tough luck on love, huh? I wonder what happened to them to break apart. Maybe, the reason was that this so-called lover left the other one hanging, leaving that person without any explanation or whatsoever. And, I just realized that bitterness can actually disrupt a rational mind.

"She died," he said as if reading my mind. "The girl died… of leukemia, anyways. Quite common nowadays."

"…"

I can't help but stare at him. Death? I know it's inevitable and all, but that sounded too tragic. I mean, who would ever thought that this place was built upon such emotions.

"What's not common is that the guy had no knowledge of it and just kept it to herself, pushing away the guy when she needed him the most," he continued. "She thought that this is the best way for when she dies the guy will move on without any trouble. Sickening, isn't it?"

This conversation – not that I'm not actually replying – is proceeding well than what I have expected. The place is great and the atmosphere too. I'm petrified that maybe – just maybe – Sumire was right with all her fantasizing. He is quite mind-blowing; I never imagined someone like him, who probably goes on dates every now and then like it's the most casual thing to be doing on every day of his life, would prepare this much for someone whom he barely even knows.

"The chef said it will take about half an hour before dinner is ready. Sorry about that. I know you must be hungry," he said, breaking me out of my trance. This gay guy knows how to apologize? Unbelievable.

"Do you always bring your dates here?" I asked. I know it's out of the topics, but – heck – I wanted to know. "And was that a depressing story that you concocted just to get my attention?"

"You see, I base it on what the girl I date would probably expect of a perfect date," he answered, looking me in the eyes. I knew it. I'm probably the 50th girl he had brought here. "But, no, you're the first one to be here, and whether the story is true or not, it's up to you."

And that just made me stare at him.

There's something oddly familiar about him. I could not quite say what it is but it's like I know him. For a second, I wanted to let my guard down around him. Then, I decided that that is one thing I will never do.

"Don't try to fool me, you gay," I sneered.

"Gay?" His eyes showed disbelief. "Me? Gay? What's wrong with your brain, woman?" He questioned, a laugh threatening to escape his lips.

"You freakin' have long hair!" I hollered, defending my self-proclaimed idea.

"Just because of that?"

"What guy has straight hair and flaunts it everywhere like he's a shampoo commercial model?" I asked, confused.

"Oh I see. So, you don't like long-haired guys?"

"I did not say that." _Yes, I hate you._

"You, for one, are beautiful, Mikan," he said as his fingers circled the rim of his champagne glass. "Even if you're not wearing make-up or anything."

That word again – _beautiful. _Nobody has ever associated me with that word. They would always say _cute _or _pretty_; however, this guy addressed me with that word like I was long destined to be, and I do not know whether I should be flattered or something else.

"And I don't call anyone just that," he finished, giving me one of his dumbfounding gazes.

There it is again: my heart skipping a beat. This guy is trying to kill me by giving me irregular heart beat rate.

"And I don't refer to any long-haired guy as gay. Just wanted you to know," I retorted, and I felt really evil and smart. It feels good to degrade someone who thinks to highly of himself.

Just when I thought that I hand him under my influence and I can actually make him bow down to me (my head is pretty much whacked, yes), he stated, "I was just wondering." Then, he paused. "Is this your first date, Mikan?" His gaze was unfaltering.

I gulped and tried to keep myself intact. Since I don't consider having picnics under the Sakura tree with Natsume as date, well, yes, this is actually my first date, and that is just perturbing. I never knew that, in the future, when my children ask me who was my first date, I would answer that it's Akira Tonouchi. The horror.

"I knew it," he said, taking a sip from his glass. "Dinner's here."

This is going to be one long date.

* * *

The next day, you know what happens: interrogation time.

"So, how was the date?" Hotaru asked, breaking the ten-minute silence among us.

We're in Anna's room, if you're wondering. This is what we do every Sunday: hang out in one room, which we pick randomly by spinning a coke bottle. For no apparent reason, my friends have been quiet since we arrived. Anna was reading her new book; Nobara and Nonoko were playing chess; Hotaru, as always, was typing away in her laptop; Sumire was filing her nails, but every now and then, she looks my way as if she's itching to know about what happened yesterday.

That is before Hotaru gave out that question.

Their attentions were solely fixed on me. "Well," I started, "It was… better than what I have expected it to be." If it had turned out to what I call the worst day of my life, then probably I would be being smug all day long, saying the words "I told you gays can't make me move on and get a life" to Sumire.

"See! I told you! Tonouchi-senpai is so handsome! You fell for him!" My green-haired, crazy friend squealed like a guinea pig finding it's one true love (not that I had actually seen it for myself). I bet these words were attempting to escape her mouth even before I talked. I mean, she looked like she was resisting the need to defecate or something. I know… her expression – reaction – can match up to thousands of metaphors.

"Correction. I did not or I will not fall for that kind of guy. I can only say that he's not the person I thought he was," I said matter-of-factly.

"You mean he's not gay?" Anna asked.

"Yes. Did you know?" I questioned back. "I was so shocked. Really. He was actually a man. I wanted to –"

When they stared at me with their adamant, staid eyes, I knew I made a fool of myself right then and there.

"I believe, Mikan, that you were the only one who thought he was," Nobara cleared, looking at the others to confirm this.

"It's a bad habit to be addressing every long-haired guy out there as gay, Mikan," Nonoko advised, looking at me as she tries to suppress her amusement. "I believe it's not the first you assumed someone as gay. You remember when Misaki-sensei had long hair?"

I nodded.

"You told me that he was gay. But then, you knew that he has a girlfriend who was no other than Serina-sensei."

Yes, I remember that perfectly. I had been calling Misaki-sensei gay for the first four months he had stayed in the academy. Even though everyone told me that he was not, I still thought so. Then, Natsume, who was still my best friend back then, and I during our first year as junior high school students sneaked in the lab to play with the dissection tools and perform a fake surgery on a teddy bear he had won in a random school-based raffle. It was quite brutal for we used fake blood to make it more realistic. Then, Serina-sensei came in the laboratory and, when she saw what we were doing, she instantly fainted. After that, Misaki-sensei came in, asking us what we were doing in there with a blood-covered teddy bear. He, then, almost stepped on Serina-sensei but, luckily, he saw her. Natsume and I stood there, completely shocked, when Misaki-sensei cried out to her with the term _'honey'_. And that's how I knew about their relationship. Yes, quite a memory.

Anna sighed and stated, "It's good that they're not lovers now. Not that I hope that I'll be with Misaki-sensei in the future or anything." She beamed at us as innocent as she could.

Sumire rolled her eyes at her. "Oh sure," she replied sarcastically and turned to me. "So, what exactly happened?" She asked, wanting to know all the details.

I heaved a heavy sigh. "The atmosphere and the place were well-thought of. The person was okay but not all too good as a companion given that I really hate how he smirks and stares at me whenever he talks about something. The – "

"You're like telling us an analysis of an experiment, Mikan," Hotaru cut me off. "Just tell it in a concise manner we'd all understand."

_Oh, Hotaru, you just want to kill me._

_1…_

_2…_

Sumire's anticipated look, Nobara's curious glance, Nonoko and Anna's doubting gazes are seriously making me feel uncomfortable. But what makes me want to stop functioning altogether is Hotaru's stoic yet deliberate stare. She knows.

_3…_

"It was… _almost _pleasant," I said honestly. I cannot hold it back anymore.

Nearly all of them shrieked – the loudest being Sumire's – in delight. They questioned me and talked me out every detail of the date. I told them how the place made me feel alive, how the food tasted great, how the music added to the ambience and how fun it is to converse – or fight – with Tonouchi… except how he made my heart skip a beat.

While the others talked to themselves and daydreamed on how this might turn out, Hotaru leaned on my ear unexpectedly and whispered the words I never wanted to recognize. "Don't fool yourself, Mikan. You thought it was _almost _perfect."

How did she know? Well, she picked out a tiny bug out of her pocket. I looked at it closer, and that's when I knew that it wasn't a bug but a tiny camera.

"I know everything," she said and smirked.

Yes, she's too cruel as my one and only best friend.

* * *

Seeing that there was nothing good that will come out of staying with them, I excused myself and hurried to the door even before they could drag me back in to listen to their outrageous insights.

The view outside the windows changed drastically. It seemed to appear more beautiful and more magnificent now; the leaves of the trees were splashed with a refreshing color of olive; the sky was like painted in a very vivid shade of cerulean. I was halfway to my room when I caught sight of Ruka standing exactly in front of my room. He seemed to be stuck in deep thought. Taking slow steps, I tried to think of reasons on why he would be doing so. Could it be that his rabbit went unpredictably to my room through the window I unintentionally left open? Or could it be about what he said the other day?

"Ruka?"

He jumped a little bit, probably because I startled him. "Mikan, I need to talk with you," he said in a serious tone.

"Oh I see," I started, trying to ease away the somber atmosphere. "Did your pet go through the window I left open and went inside my room?"

He shook his head. "No, he did not. He's in my room, sleeping. What I came here to talk with you about is… regarding Akira Tonouchi," he stated.

"What about him?"

"He's…You should stay away from him, Mikan," he said, looking into my eyes as if he's trying to understand if I just understood what he said.

"Why?"

"Just… because. I know I already told you that he is truly not the best guy to hang out with or even like," he replied.

I find it weird for Ruka to be holding back something from me like this. He's not the kind of guy to not be that straightforward with me, and the only guy I absolutely do not understand or even have an inkling of what he is thinking is Natsume. Yes, him. He is very much the most unpredictable guy I've ever met. Well, since that incident – when he started ignoring me that is.

"Okay, Ruka. I'll keep that advice in mind. Thank you," I finally replied after I kept silent for about half a minute.

He flashed me a feeble smile and walked away. It kind of saddens me to see him so worried and down like that. I inserted my key and turned the doorknob to go in my room. My room was as tranquil as I have left it this morning.

I plopped down my untidy bed and stared at the ceiling. It may be best to take Ruka's advice. Hell, I don't even know a thing about this person named Akira Tonouchi who I just happen to have a good time with yesterday; I think it's for the best.

Then, my cellphone beeped which frightened me that I almost screamed. I reached out for it, patting the bedside table for it. When I felt it under my palms, I raised it and stared at the screen.

** Message from Natsume Hyuuga**

My eyes probably threatened to escape my sockets. Why is suddenly you-know-who texting me? He must've sent it to the wrong person. Wait. Scratch that. He's actually alive somewhere…? And he's still not changing his number after all the texts I've sent him before…? This bastard of a best friend disappears somewhere and then texts me out of nowhere without even clearing away the misunderstanding between us – or perhaps it wasn't meant to be a temporary quarrel. Oh yeah. I just remembered the _'leave me alone' _e-mail. And now, he's got the nerve to text me. Maybe, he's sorry…? _What the hell._ I should just get it over with and open this damn message.

I opened it hesitantly as my hand trembled lightly, and what met my eyes just had to be the most unexpected words I wanted from him. In that message were the words…

**_Do not get close to Akira._**

You know, sometimes it's much more fun to do the exact opposite of what someone says.

Yes, I'm having the most hysterical and unruly idea I've had yet.

* * *

_ *waits for the rotten tomatoes and whatever kind of thing to be thrown at her*_

__Hi, guys. I'm embarrassed to be even updating this story I thought I'd abandon.

However, seeing it incomplete and having the readers of this story hanging, I felt like a very, very bad person.

Yes, I felt very bad especially I had promised to update this on Saturday which seemed to be about 10 months now.

Yes, I'm that bad as an author. So, forgive me?

Is this story worth continuing anymore? I'm having doubts about that. Really.

My writing skills have stooped down to a very, very low level now. LOL

So much for the workshop last summer. I'm sorry for any wrong grammar or anything; this was done in hurry and all. I'll re-read when I have the time.

I'll give you brief explanations for my long hiatus:

1. I was in my senior year and it was so elfin crazy. So many moments to take notice of.

2. I'm the appointed EIC of our yearbook and up till now I'm editing every description of my batch mates who comprised of 497 to be exact. -_-

3. I'm just that lazy. Yes, I am.

So, please tell me if this story is even worth updating anymore. :( If you say yes, I'll upload the next chapter

and eventually finish this before I enter college this June 11.

**Kylee-Cat: **Thank you so much for always reviewing and sharing your thoughts on this story. I really appreciate it. :D I'm sorry I didn't update. Yes, I'm very sorry. :( I've been a bad author. Hope you still read this lousy excuse of an update.

**Justanotherfanofyours: **I'm sorry for not holding on to my word. :(

**MidSummer-Romance: **Yes, there'll be pounding but not in this chapter. :) And sorry for not updating.

**MusicIvory: **I think I was so whacked in the head that I did not understand your update-soon-please plea. Sorry. :(

**inaekleas: **Thanks for the cookie! :) I received it just now. =)) LOL

and to **anon: **Maybe he likes her or maybe not. Yes, there are a lot of cliches and obvious parts in this story. Of course, everyone loves cliches. And about the NxM tandem. This story's main characters are indicated above as Natsume and Mikan, right? :) Then, why did you open - or even read - this story? Anyways, if you're getting sick of this tandem, read another fic that does not have that pairing. And, yes, thanks for the reviews. :D

**_29 APRIL 2012_**

**_3:43 AM_**

**__****(: nineprincess :)**


	12. Chapter 11: What Are You Talking About?

**CHAPTER 11: What Are You Talking About?**

* * *

Another nightmare visited me tonight.

So, I decided to leave my room for a while and catch some fresh air outside. I tugged on the sleeves of my sweater, pulling it till it covers most of my fingers as well. Well, cold air hit me the moment I stepped outside. I didn't imagine it would be this freezing so I decided not to bring an extra jacket to cover me up.

I need time to clear up my thoughts. Earlier, I just had the most wonderful idea – to entertain Tonouchi's flirtatious gestures, defying whatever command my bastard best friend had texted me. I think it would be a lovely revenge, and I'm curious as to why people do the opposite of what others say. Does it give them any kind of emotional outlet or something? It's my first time to do something quite against my character - or even my will.

I walked slowly down the hall, eyeing the view of the vast, star-filled sky. I have often wondered if ever the universe did have a limit – an end. You see, there has to be because that's the way things work.

"Mikan-chan?"

I turned to see Misaki advancing towards me, holding out a flashlight in one hand. The light it produced made me put a hand over my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, stopping in front me, as she held the flashlight nearer to my face. "It's way past curfew!"

"Well, I can say the same to you," I replied.

"Mine's a different case though," she began, turning off the beam coming out of her flashlight. "I'm on patrol duty."

"Just like Tsubasa-kun?" I was practically shocked. What on earth is happening nowadays?

She started walking down the hall; I immediately thought that she wanted for the two of us to take a stroll. Patrol duty, huh? I wonder how many people have this opportunity. I believe it's more of a punishment rather than a benefit, and I've got two reasons: less sleep and more responsibility. And that doesn't sound good together given that those two words started with 'less' and 'more' respectively.

"Sadly, yes." She heaved a deep sigh as her footsteps became slower. "Unlike him who's enjoying every minute of this duty thing, I feel it as a kind of hefty burden thrown towards me. I blame Tsubasa for this everyday. Won't he just fail Anjo's class? I mean, can't he at least do that?"

Confusion was obviously present on my face. "I don't quite get it, Misaki." I'm not that familiar with Tsubasa's academic standing and all; however, Misaki's almost dumb as I am.

"He always gets an A+ in that fucking English class for all I know. And, with that being his partner, I need to be stuck with him for every task he's assigned to. Doesn't that go the same with you and Hyuuga?" she asked, completely unknowing.

Trying to block that hateful name, I answered, "Now, that I think of it. It does. However, difference is that that guy always turns down every job offered to him." Yes, that's true. Two years ago, he was asked by every teacher to assist them with paperwork or something, but he's lazy to begin with so why bother. I should thank him for that, I know.

"He must know you hate it."

"…"

I do hate it, actually. Whenever I do something, everything goes wrong. I tried growing flowers for the gardening club last year and the soil where I had set my babies (or daffodils) became barren. But, you know, it never occurred to me that he's even considerate of that; I just like to think he's languid as he is.

Even though I was pretty much silent and unresponsive, she continued her rant, "Andou, on the other hand, seems to like making me suffer especially these past few days. He doesn't reject anything at all. Even weird jobs like playing with the pre-school kids every Saturday." She stopped and turned to face me. "Saturday? Can you believe it? It's supposed to be my date day with Sono, and even that is being robbed off me."

"You hate spending time with me that much, huh?" A sudden voice erupted which surely came from the garden. I haven't noticed we've walked about a mile from where we were once. The garden - one of the places that seemed to be part of my midnight escapades. Trees, bushes and flowers lined the perimeter as the moon showered its faint light across it, almost producing some kind of faded photo.

Misaki stopped in her tracks, and I wondered why. Then, I saw Tsubasa standing as he brushed off some dirt on his plaid pants; his eyes gazed pensively at Misaki who seemed to have her fists clenched as her eyes narrowed on him. Quite unusual if you ask me.

"It's not that I hate it," she defended. "It's just that I need to spend some time with Sono too. You know that, Andou. Besides, we've been like buddies since we were little, having me no choice but to always be with you. So cut me some slack, will you?"

Tsubasa snickered and stepped closer to us. He seemed alarmed when he saw me. I had been standing there with Misaki for quite a while, and I don't get why he reacted like he didn't see me at all in the first place. "Uhm. Mikan, why don't you go to your dorm now? It's quite late." It was like he was only seeing Misaki and her only.

I wanted to protest, but the demanding tone he used was very different than what he always used to speak with me. Normally, his voice will be filled with humor, sarcasm and affability. This one – this one is totally staid and… I don't know.

I nodded my head and bid the two of them goodbye. Being the curious person I am, I wanted to listen in their conversation, but I would feel guilty all day long if I overheard something I shouldn't hear.

"You let Mikan go, and now I don't have a girlfriend to –"

Thinking that I must've been out of hearing range, Tsubasa cut her off. "Then why didn't you?" I was about halfway through the hall before I make a left turn towards the dorms. I cannot help myself to want to slow down and listen in.

"Didn't what?" Misaki asked, irritated.

"Be with me… always."

Those were the last words I got to hear as I made a sharp left, hurrying to not hear anymore of their conversation. I don't know but I knew I should not be eavesdropping on that one. Definitely.

* * *

A week has passed and a lot of things happened. The whole Tsubasa and Misaki thing was basically dead news. It hasn't been mentioned even once by either of the two. Whenever I see Misaki along the halls, I cannot strike a conversation with her for she was always with Sono-senpai. As for Tsubasa, I haven't seen him all week even if I took my usual midnight strolls.

Yes, a lot of things did happen… and most of it was regarding Akira Tonouchi. He was really being what a girl would want for a guy. Sweet, caring, understanding, patient, partly evil but mostly tolerable – why would I be saying such things?

Well, I guess he earned it. I mean, I call him whatever I want to yet he doesn't seem to be bothered about it. I do not respond when he's talking but he continues to talk despite that. I practically glare at him whenever I see him but he just smiles at me. I throw the most insulting of words I could think of yet he just dismisses them with a wave of the hand. When I'm silent in the corner, he instantly comes over and talks to me and asks me what's wrong. When he does, I tell him to go away and do not bother me but he just changes the topic and makes it funny or something.

You see, what I liked about him is that he isn't pushy with knowing what I think and all. And this does not mean I'm falling for him.

But what I cannot seem to fathom is what I am doing here. _I must be insane. _

I'm standing in front of Akira Tonouchi – in a desolate environment. It's lunchtime and I'd gathered up the courage to call him out, away from his group of friends who eyed me like they knew that this was eventually bound to happen.

Before we reached this place, Tsubasa passed by as he raised an indiscreet brow and looked at me with much curiosity. As much as I wanted to block his way and let him explain for what happened a week ago between him and Misaki. I deemed that the Tonouchi case was far more important than some petty conversation which I was totally not allowed to hear.

_Would harass – _two words that kept echoing inside my head.

"So, what you called me out for, Mikan-chan?" He questioned.

Stopping all the nonsensical mumblings that have been continuously going on inside my head, I took a deep breath. Whatever I'm going to say will seriously change my future in this Academy; it will be a big change in my life too. For the reason that, I'm about to violate my principles; I'm about to do one thing I'd never imagine I would be doing.

"Do not be too happy when you hear what I'm going to say right now. Okay?" I glanced at him, and he seemed to be enjoying himself based on that permanent smirk plastered on his face. "You remember your question during our date? I'm finally answering that, and I'm thinking that – that I will regret it sooner or later… but I'm willing to…how should I say this… uhm… go out with you."

_There I finally said it._

He stared at me, and silence was definitely present between the two of us. I don't know but he seemed like he was trying to read my thoughts or something.

"What ever changed your mind? You clearly hate me, you know." His eyes met mine, sweeping me off my feet with his red-specked amethyst orbs.

Trying to defend myself, I caught up with some air and positioned my arms across my chest in a proud manner, raising my chin. "I do hate you, but it's worth a try anyways. I have conditions though," I said, recollecting what I've decided earlier with Hotaru who happened to think I was out to have emotional suicide.

Yes, my agreeing to this date condition is definitely going to either save my sorry butt or make the already tough situation worse.

Glancing at him, I continued anyways, "First, we'd be going out for like a two week trial. It's a trial, okay? It's up to you whether you'll cheat or something. I don't effin' care."

"Then, what's the essence of going out with me if you don't care if I have some other fling?" That was true, but I, Mikan Sakura, just find this going

"Well, I don't like you in the first place. So why bother? I'm just out for killing boredom out of my life. Second, you are not allowed to ask whatever reason I have for doing this. Yes, it's personal and all."

He just shrugged and looked at me like he wasn't interested at all. "Whatever. As long as you're going out with me. It just doesn't matter."

He is a conceited womanizer who just doesn't want to be single for the rest of his damn life. I rolled my eyes and continued, "And lastly, I can call you gay for all I want." I sneered, feeling evilness coursing through my veins. I never knew I'd inherit some malevolent trait from my parents. I wonder from which side did it actually come?

His forehead creased and his eyebrows met at the center. He looked puzzled, sucked into deep thought. "It rather sounds like a challenge to me – dating you, that is. It thrills me. You didn't know, right?" He asked, quirking up a teasing brow.

"What?"

"I love challenges… and I never lose – ever," he finished off explicitly with his fulsome air around him.

I'm supposed to be cowering away into the farthest place I could reach – a place Tonouchi couldn't get to; however, valor unexpectedly overcame me, and I blurted out, "Oh yeah? It'll be fun experiencing first time failure. You don't need to worry; I'd make it less painful for your oh-so-manly pride."

I'm a fucking prodigy. Just so you see, ex-best friend, you just don't text me stuff.

* * *

"I'm screwed. I wanna die. Give me some pills I can use for suicide."

The entire brave act I pulled earlier instantly left me the moment Tonouchi disappeared down the hallway. I had to grip on the pillar to prevent myself from slumping down the ground due to my trembling knees. Well, the trembling did something good too; it actually prevented me from hitting my head on the wall repeatedly. Given that I'd be too mortified to even take a step inside that teen-filled cafeteria, I trudged along the way to the Clinic where I ended up telling every single thing that has happened to Miss Mio – in exchange for a decent mac and cheese meal. What can I do? I was starving.

She placed her cup of coffee down the table and slightly turned in her seat. She gazed at me like some kind of specimen under a microscope. "You are a hazard to the society with your suicidal tendencies. Mikan-chan," she said as she poked me on my forehead; I winced in pain. "I thought this whole Natsume Hyuuga ordeal had been dealt with accordingly. But why push through the path that would make it even worse?"

"I told you. I was… feeling vengeful, and my brain said it was the… right… thing to do."

"It was the most impulsive and despicable thing to have done under that situation. You know, that text and warning haven't made its way to you. Despite Tonouchi-san being a perfectly fine male specie, it doesn't mean you don't need to be wary of what the people around you are saying."

I admit it was. Now, I feel like I'm the stupidest person on earth. I just know I'm stupid but right now I feel like I'm at the bottom of the heap, trying to claw its way to the top yet with no avail. I buried my face in my hands. "Ohmygod! What should I do?" I practically stopped myself from screaming. My face must've looked really red from that.

"Think and talk to your best friend," she stated firmly.

"Hotaru?"

"No, not her." She took a sip from her cup of coffee. "Natsume."

I gawked at her in disbelief. She just said that as if it was the easiest thing to be done in the whole wide universe. It's quite funny that it was once one of the most casual things I did. Talk to him, that is.

_~ I never thought I'd fall in love, love, love, love._

_But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush ~_

"WHAT THE HELL?" I shouted, startled.

"Mikan, your phone is ringing. Better pick it up. It might be important," she said as she stood up, picked up her cup of coffee and went to the other room.

Okay. Remind me to change my ringing tone later.

I pressed on the button and put my phone on my ear. "Hello, Mikan Sakura speaking."

"Hey, you! You didn't even tell me you decided to go out with Tonouchi-senpai! You lucky, girl! Everyone was in –"

"Sumire, I didn't tell it to you 'cause you'd fuss over it so much that it will be the only thing you'd talk about. You might've been the one who'd tell him."

She would really tell that gay – I mean, Tonouchi – that I'm going to date him. It's already her reflex action to do so. Sumire is definitely not the one to keep secrets.

There was a pause on the other line. "… that's reasonable enough, I guess. But, Mikan! Do you know everyone's talking about you? Really. Even Luna's freaking out. Not only her. Tonouchi-senpai's fans are going wild! They are demanding to see you and find out what Tonouchi-senpai liked about you!"

"Are you kidding me?" I snorted, not buying her.

There was a shuffle on the other end and voices that argued with each other. Then, it grew quiet. They're seriously screwing with me right now. And I just have to remember what Hotaru said before about guys thinking I'm hot and a lot of Koizumi-like girls out to kill me.

"Mikan, she's not joking at all," said a cold, staid voice.

I knew that voice anywhere – Hotaru. With that tone on her voice, it was definitely not a lie. This only means that obviously my life is about to get more chaotic than it already is.

_RINGGGGGG!_

Oh shit. Lunchtime's over.

I grabbed my bag (still with my phone on), about to sprint towards the door. Then, Miss Mio came in and spotted me with a very troubled expression etched on my face. Regardless of that, she smiled and said, "Mikan, can I give you an advice?"

"What? Didn't you just give me?" I asked back, itching to get out of there to not be late for my class and earn another detention on my already ruined student record.

"You must know that the mess you're experiencing right now is not done by the people around you. It was done by the wrong choices you made. And, dear, this last one is definitely bad."

"Ditto to that," Hotaru said on the other line, making me remember that I was still on the line.

* * *

Every teacher throughout the day congratulated me for getting together with Tonouchi. I know, who knew he was popular with the teachers as well? I hate the feeling that every person inside the academy had his or her eyes on you to either hit on you or claw her way to your neck and strangle you.

"It's good to be back in this dorm," I mumbled, resting my head on the couch.

"Idiot, get out of here and go back to your room," Hotaru stated, emerging from the bathroom in her white nightgown.

I sat up and frowned. "Oh c'mon, Hotaru. Those fan girls will kill me while I'm sleeping! Did you see their president? The one called Miyuki Hirata? She had that murderous aura around her whenever I saw her along the hall."

"No, she will not, Mikan. She just hates you, and she does not hate you that much to kill you." She climbed on her bed and wrapped herself up with her blanket. She clapped once and the lights dimmed, enough so that I could sleep.

I cannot sleep with darkness engulfing me, and Hotaru knows that. I just feel lost whenever I cannot see a single source of light anywhere. It's like being stuck somewhere you'll never get out of. Aside from that, I love her lights responding to her gestures like clapping. I had asked her before to install the same thing in my dorm but she told me to pay her an amount I didn't obviously afford. Well, money to Hotaru is what feeds her needs.

There were shuffling sound over where she was. Maybe, she can't sleep and kept moving and tossing around in her bed. "Mikan, I just want you to know that Tonouchi seems suspicious," she suddenly blurted out.

"Suspicious?" I asked, quirking a brow.

She sat up, hugging her knees, and nodded. "Yes, haven't you ever wondered why someone with so much girls swarming around him everyday would settle for you?"

Although it may sound harsh and all, she has a point. Why me? Of all people? He could just turn Sumire's offer down that instant. Yes, that has crossed my mind for a lot of times already.

"You see, I do not mean to offend you, but I had done a little research about him. All his past girls were tall, curvy and gorgeous. I'm not saying that you are not pretty but you are definitely _not_ his type."

Well, I knew that. He's pretty much out of my league too, you know. Why am I always stuck with such guys? I heaved a sigh. "You know, I don't really care. I'm not going to get serious about him anyways."

"Make sure about that, idiot," she murmured. She must be drifting off to dreamland right now and she's near. I smiled awkwardly to myself and closed my eyes with the hope that I did the right thing.

* * *

I can't say if I had a good sleep for those fan girls' faces kept floating in my mind the whole time, thinking if they'd really strangle me to death because of what I've decided.

So, I'm on my way now to Serina-sensei's class. Walking down this hall has never been this suffocating. Eyes pinned me down and followed my every move. Seriously, it feels like I'm dating some hot movie star or a famous rock star. Taking a little detour, I decided to take the less crowded halls. Although some people still stared at me, it was better than having a lot of them in number. Less is always better in this case.

"Dude, I can't, okay?"

It's coming from one of those rooms with authorized personnel sign on it. Curious, I leaned on the door to hear more of the conversation. Yes, I have a bad habit to be inquisitive with things I am not even supposed to be dealing with. Usually, I can control it; however, this person used a totally pissed off tone, anxious or something.

"I told you… Yes! I promised but I can't – dude, c'mon. I can't keep doing this."

This is getting interesting. Is this some sort of Yaoi thing unknown to the school administration? Okay. That sounded all too perverted off me. I mean, why did I even think of that?

I lightly bumped my head to clear my thoughts.

"It's not my problem if he's after her. It's yours. You're asking me why? You know why! I –"

Silence enveloped the area. Then, a sound of fists coming in contact with concrete wall came. _Ouch much? _

"Listen to me! For once, okay? I like her! I don't care if she has a boyfriend now. You know, I was mistaken. She really is the one, and I can't keep my promise to you. I can't, Natsume. I simply can't."

Wait. Did this guy just say, Natsume?

As in, Natsume Hyuuga?

"Bye. I'm going to take care of my problems first."

Too stunned to even move, I almost fell back when the door opened. My eyes travelled from his feet and, slowly, to his face. That's when bewilderment caught me.

"Mi-mi-mikan?" He said, stuttering, as he tried to compose himself by smiling his usual affable grin. "What are you doing here? C'mon, you're going to be late and –"

"Ne, Tsubasa, why… why are you talking with Natsume? Wait. I mean… what are you two talking about?" I asked, staring straight at him.

Those feelings I thought had disappeared came rushing back to me again. I know they're friends and they talk to each other about things; however, what I just heard I just know they're hiding something from me, and I can't simply ignore that.

* * *

Yo! Update here!

So, did you like it? I had planned to change a little bit of what I've originally thought on how this story would proceed.

I know the flow's a lil' bit slow, but from here on, it will have a fast pace already.

Yes, I left a cliffhanger. Might update on Thursday or Friday. :D

Tell me your thoughts!

Review! :)

**anim3gurl; shimahiko4ever; Xyrhyn: **Thanks you guys! Yes, I'd need all the luck I can get for that.

**Mid-Summer Romance: **Nice idea there! :)) Never thought of a rape scene. But, yes, maybe I'll put some pounding scenes in the next chapter? HAHA. Thanks again!

**spica14: **Hey! Thanks for the review! :) Uhm. You got that one, huh? Yes, maybe? I guess the story has some connection. Awww. Thanks for that again.

**The Faded Smile: **Yes, she is. :)))

**hannaxsweetheart; MeliRockStarNinja; Cheerysmile: **Thanks for the review, guys! :)

**KyokoKoizumi: **Oh yes, there's not much of Natsume in this fic for I had him running away to US and stuff. XD Don't worry. The next chapter will definitely have him in it. Yes, it's a NatsuMikan fic. And I guess your question about Tsubasa and Misaki was just answered in this chapter although it may appear vague and all. Thanks for being curious about my story! :) And for the review as well!

**Kookie: **Oh wow. I'm one lazy author indeed; I can't argue that. I can take your review and all; however, you didn't need to call me asshole. That was insulting - that part only though. My updating with months and even a year of interval has reasons. I don't need to explain it again. Thanks for reviewing btw.

**_7 MAY 2011_**

**_10:35 PM_**

**__****(: nineprincess :)**


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